~ archived since 2018 ~

Met a work colleague whom I really hit it off with. Agreed to spend a weekend by the countryside. Since we booked the place she is pulling away and I'm not sure what to do.

August 12, 2019
1 upvotes

I am (M29) looking for advice on what to do with a girl (F26), because to be honest I feel like I'm totally lost.

I have met this girl at work a couple of weeks ago. She was fun, interesting, absolutely gorgeous we share the same values and want the same things in life and we hit it off really well.

At first I was very hesitant on making the first move as you don't really shit where you eat, as well as I am much more senior at the company that I work for so I wasn't really sure whether I'm getting the attention because of the perceived power/influence I have at the firm or whether she just wanted something from me work related. (which has happened before).

We kept talking and she kept being proactive so about two weeks ago I decided to ask her out. and she said yes!

Now this is where things get a little complicated.

We both knew at the beginning of our interactions that I am getting relocated to another country (I'm in Europe) - which I did a week ago - for 6 months.

Unfortunately the date never happened, not bc we didnt want to go out, but rather that week being my last I got really caught up at work that evening and never could actually made it. (got stuck at work till 11PM).

She was totally fine with it given the circumstances and ended up going to two lunch dates afterwards to make up for the lost time.

Due to the relocation package I received I can basically fly back home every or every other weekend - and I am due to go back home this Thursday and spend a long weekend in the country.

So we agreed as the next step to book an AIRBNB on the country side and spend two nights there and the last evening back in the city - which I was super excited for and it seemed to be that the feeling was mutual. She was even the one whom made the suggestion about going away to the countryside together.

Also she is really keen on getting relocated to the city I am in as well as I am open to moving here permanently too.

To be honest I kinda romanticized about the idea internally about starting a life here together with her.

Everything was great ever but than things took a strange turn after I booked and payed for the apartment.

We have been talking on the social media regularly but her attitude took a 180 degree turn the day after I booked the place.

She is passive, leaves me on seen when I make comments about the trip or romantic comments and gives me generally passive one-liner responses or no contact for days.

Even I noticed that in the last 5 days or so I was the one who always initiated conversations and I could tell she never really put in any effort / interest to continue the conversation. ( I even broke one of my biggest rules which is never double text a girl. ever.)

I know that last week at work has been super stressful for her due to various reasons as well as this week she is on holiday with her parents, but I don't know - I guess my anxieties are telling me that I have done something wrong and my gut is telling me that she is a lot less interested than she was before I booked the place, because if you are interested in someone you do seek them out.

Should I just keep no contact for the rest of the week until we meet?

Should I go ahead and address this worry of mine with her? (I'd rather not as I would come off as needy and feel like this would diminish me from a position of power)

I do recognize that we never actually went on a proper date before, and one of the things I am looking forward to in this trip is getting to know her better, but it feels like the feeling is not mutual.

Or perhaps she wants to get to know me in person rather than on the phone.

Any suggestions guys?

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/askTRP.

/r/askTRP archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title Met a work colleague whom I really hit it off with. Agreed to spend a weekend by the countryside. Since we booked the place she is pulling away and I'm not sure what to do.
Author abratoki
Upvotes 1
Comments 17
Date August 12, 2019 10:33 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/met-a-work-colleague-whom-i-really-hit-it-off-with.248965
https://theredarchive.com/post/248965
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/cpakz1/met_a_work_colleague_whom_i_really_hit_it_off/
Comments

[–]Suptakular12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You're at stage 0 towards red-pill awareness. Never invest a single dollar in a woman you didn't already fuck a couple of times. Golden rule.

By booking this apt with the hope of sex, what you just did is establishing a covert contract, which is the strongest pussy desiccant ever known to man. Attraction can't be negotiated nor paid.

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Is there any way in your opinion to make the covert contract overt?

[–]into_being2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

By saying it aloud to her, which is the opposite of what you should be doing.

The only answer here is to go on the getaway yourself and and have an awesome time doing shit that’s fun for you. Learn the many lessons your failure to read the sidebar has brought you.

[–]Suptakular1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

  • Send her a pic with a few -light- BDSM accessories
  • Make suggestions about spanking her for saying/doing XYZ
  • Generally, own your sexuality by being overt, explicit and dominant.

[–]L3onard30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes...only chance at this point. A Hail Mary at best.

[–]intl_plyrs_clb5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You really screwed the pooch on this one didn't you.

  • Shitting where you eat, with an intern too eh?

  • Oneitis

  • Grand romantic getaway? Have you even fucked her yet? No, just no.

You gave her free validation that she's good enough to have some sap book a weekend getaway on her.

She's gonna find some excuse to bail because in her mind she's already won just by having you book the AirBnB, now why actually follow through?

Live and learn.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Stop fucking initiating and STFU! Wait for her to initiate! You initiating only makes her lose more respect and attraction. Read the fucking sidebar and you should have know this.

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your probably right and for the record I have read the sidebar.

I guess i am catching oneitis on this bitch and dont really know how to deal with it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

And why the fuck did you pay for the apparment! Split the goddamn payment! You're not in a relationship!

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because I make six figures annually and she is an intern. For me the place is basically change. For her its half of her monthly salary.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If she can't pay it, then you shouldn't have went! Stop trying to pay for sex! Buying a hooker would have been the cheaper option here. She's not a unicorn!

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Wait, I’m confused. Are you fucking this chick? Or just hoping to on this trip?

This is possibly the most blue pill thing I’ve ever read here.

This is a loss. She isn’t going to go, there will be an excuse she has right before it’s time to leave. She knows you expect her to put out because you’re spending so much money on her. You put way too much time, effort, and money to buy your way into her pants and she’s not liking it. She’s not turned on by you.

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Never slept with her no.

It has been insinuated by her that thats where this would go.

[–]mountainbiker1783 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Everyone else here is right. You screwed up. Read the side bar and forget this chick.

However, I think the best way to save face and possibly have a chance with her, is to uninvite her and go on the trip by yourself. Focus on having an awesome time and approach girls on your trip. Doing this will show her that you're not invested in her, which MAY cause her to be interested in you. But even then that's putting her on the pedestal and too close to oneitis for comfort.

[–]FinancialThanks10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

cancel it

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You went from zero to Airbnb and know your messaging her romantic shit like y’all have been dating for 2 years?

[–]doublecup__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We have been talking on the social media regularly

Feeding her validation she hasn't earned. Bad.

To be honest I kinda romanticized about the idea internally about starting a life here together with her.

Diagnosis: Early Onset Oneitis

leaves me on seen when I make comments about the trip or romantic comments and gives me generally passive one-liner responses or no contact for days.

I was the one who always initiated conversations and I could tell she never really put in any effort / interest to continue the conversation. ( I even broke one of my biggest rules which is never double text a girl. ever.)

Reread this section carefully and let it sink in for a few seconds. This whole part should be what the girl feels when dealing with you. You're the bitch in this case because of how strong your oneitis is.

I know that last week at work has been super stressful for her

I don't give a flying fuck and you shouldn't either. Even if she had a stressful week at work she'd be looking forward to seeing a fun, attractive guy. You're not that guy.

Should I just keep no contact for the rest of the week until we meet?

I can say with confidence that you're going to lose this one and that's perfectly fine as long as you learn from it. Your idea isn't truly no contact because she's still going to be on your mind constantly until you see her next like a puppy waiting for its owner. Move on.

Should I go ahead and address this worry of mine with her? (I'd rather not as I would come off as needy and feel like this would diminish me from a position of power)

You were never in the position of power. Stop kidding yourself.

Take a shower, you've got some blue shit all over you.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2022. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter