I was extremely rude to this plate the last time we were together at her place. Amusing myself at her expense out of boredom and just being a huge asshole in general. Among other things I made the comment 'you gained weight'. She's in very good shape but I felt like teasing her and I genuinely didn't care if the plate broke.

That is until I fucking left this item at her house. At first she ignored my messages. Then I said that if the roles were reversed she knows I'd let her come and collect the item and she finally responded with some long paragraph about how immature I am.

I wasn't making any progress in our conversation and she kept accusing me of being evil and shit so eventually I said 'im sorry' after she said 'you tried to hurt me and it worked'. After I said sorry she said 'you're only sorry because you're powerless'. Which is true.

So I made up some bullshit about maybe having feelings for her and not knowing how to express them.

I'm fucking angry that this bitch is making me get on my knees and beg for it back. As I collect the item I'll play it cool and then as I'm walking out I plan on saying 'thanks fatty'.

How would you go about this without losing too much dignity?

Tldr: a broken plate is making me beg and apologies just to get the item I left at her place back.