I'm thinking back on past relationships that have failed. All of them end the same way: things start off great, the girl is all green-flags (doing tons of shit for me, sweet, great connection, lots of sex), and then things take a turn for the worse. She starts complaining I don't spend enough time with her. It feels to me like she wants 24/7 attention and doesn't have many hobbies/interests of her own. In most of those instances, I eventually end the relationship because it just becomes too miserable/toxic at some point.

I saw another post on here about comfort tests, and the comments were mostly about how you should be spending a lot of time with your LTR (otherwise, why is she your LTR?), planning dates every week, and so on. It's made me think back on my LTRs and wonder if I was way too hard/lazy with them and was failing to comfort them/be relationship material.

My problem is I like to have my personal time to chill. I've got shit that I want to do. I need to work on my career, I have hobbies, I write music and try to learn new skills. I like having time to myself to decompress after work. I like to have time to read. I try to see my friends every couple weeks. I don't play video games or watch TV but I don't want to spend all my free time on a relationship. I might have 4 hours of free time per (work) day - I'm not going to spend it all on my relationship.

It seems like all the girls I end up in relationships with want way more of my attention and time than I feel like I want to give, and that it would end up detracting from my life if I gave that time. My idea of a LTR has always been that you spend some time together and have fun, but that you're not constantly around each other/talking to each other/so on.

Is this unrealistic? Are most girls like this? Am I just not suited to LTRs and just failing to be a decent boyfriend, or am I selecting co-dependent girls or something like that?