I got a couple of requests to post my story. I've never shared it before and genuinely need feedback as it's probably one of the worst you'll ever hear. It can be easy to forget being a Blue Pill Beta can, and often is, fatal. Becoming Red Pill aware can save your life and that's not an overstatement. I do know that part of my purpose in life is for my life to serve as a warning to others so hopefully I can save other young men from what happened to me.
I am 43 years old. I was married for 15 years (together for 17). I did everything in my life I was supposed to in order to be happy and successful. I went to college at a good university and got my degree. I got a good job out of college at a national bank and age 24 I had been promoted to Branch Manager making $75,000 a year. That's when I hired a gorgeous 23 year old blonde named Emily as a loan officer who would eventually become my wife. Emily was a single mom with a 2 year old daughter.
One night at a company Christmas Party we ended up hooking up. We dated in secret until I eventually got a better job at another bank. I wanted a family, and I loved Emily's daughter, so I did the "right" thing and married Emily and adopted her daughter. I was crushing it professionally, making great money, and just built a huge 5,000 square foot home in a gated community for my new family. It was probably the happiest I have ever been in my life.
We waited a couple of years before trying to have kids and when we did it wasn't working. After meeting with doctors it was revealed she had developed benign tumors on her ovaries and our only possible option would be IVF which would cost $30,000 and which health insurance didn't cover. So I went back to work and worked even harder to save up the money. We go through IVF and it doesn't work. I'm crushed. I'm now 35 years old and realize I will never have my own biological children. However, a year later she shows up miraculously pregnant. I'm literally on my knees thanking God for this miracle. 2 months into the miracle pregnancy she has miscarriage. There would be no more miracle pregnancies after that.
But I still had a beautiful wife whose body hadn't been destroyed by a bunch of kids. I had a big home with tons of equity. I had $250,000 in my 401k and $40,000 more in stocks and savings. I was debt free expect for my mortgage and student loans. I had a 800 credit score. Life wasn't horrible.
THEN IT HAPPENED.....D-DAY......November 6th, 2017. I will never forget this day as long as I live. My lifelong best friend called me. He said he had something important to tell me and it wasn't going to be easy. He said "I know for a fact Emily has been having an affair with Rob" (Rob was this loser guy that was "a friend of a friend" who was very much lower in socio-economic status than me). Of course I didn't believe him. We had just got back from an anniversary cruise and our daughter was crushing in sports and our life was going amazing. Like we were not unhappy. We were still having sex regularly and going out and having fun. It just didn't seem possible. Rob was short, not attractive, and made a fraction of the money I did.......but he was 100% alpha. Had been arrested a couple times including for beating up women.
But not being a complete idiot I knew something had to be driving this rumor so I started to quietly investigate. Well, long long long story short she admitted to having an affair with Rob over the entire past year. Over the course of the next several months she admitted to 2 additional affairs she had going back 5 years. Oh yeah and that miracle pregnancy? Yeah, that wasn't mine. That was one of the guys she was having an affair with that knocked her up.
However, I was so Blue Pill, and knowing I lived in a no-fault divorce state, I still didn't want to get divorced. She stayed with me another year before leaving me for a totally different guy she met on Facebook, filed for divorce, and moved herself and our daughter to another city. In the divorce she got half my 401k, half the equity in the home, half our savings, and child support and alimony. I moved into a 2 bedroom apartment with our two dogs. Oh but it gets better. In order to hide her affairs she took out a bunch of credit cards to hide charges for hotels and fuel and gifts she was buying for these guys. $30,000 in total which is considered marital debt even though I didn't know about it. I was ordered to pay half that debt. I started drinking heavily, my mental state was a mess, my work suffered and eventually I was rightfully let go from my good paying job.
It was at this point I decided I was going to take my own life. I was 40 years old, alone, broke, no assets, no job, no income, and now an alcoholic. There was no way I was getting another job because my career was in banking and with shit credit good luck getting an executive or even teller job in banking. I was borrowing money from my elderly parents to pay my rent. I did not want to live. I actually set up a date to do it. Called my life insurance and made sure it was paid and got the beneficiary changed to my parents. Wrote a note to my parents and my daughter. Even deleted all the porn off my phone and anything else that would be embarrassing to find. Had a text ready to go to my brother-in-law about what I did and to come find me (he's a state trooper so I felt like he could handle it best). Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, so drunk I can hardly hold my head up, my loaded S&W in one hand and my phone in the other ready to send that text, for some reason this incredible sense of injustice swept over me. Why should I have to die, and she and these other men she fucked get to live?
That night I convinced myself not to kill myself......not because I didn't want to....but because I thought I should kill myself after I kill at least Rob and if I could the other two men as well. The only reason I didn't want to kill her is I didn't want our daughter to have no parents. The next couple of days I starting researching on the Internet ways to kill this guy. That's when I stumbled onto the very first Reddit Red Pill forum that doesn't even exist anymore. I spent hours reading through posts. Until then I genuinely thought I was the only man who had ever been through something like this. From that day forward I haven't thought about killing myself or others. It's still been a monumental struggle but there is no question Red Pill awareness saved my life and likely the life of several others.
My specific question is this.......can your "purpose" be to serve as a warning to others? That sounds kind of pathetic but at this point that seems like the best fit for me and my life at this point.
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