I'm 33, and frankly most people my age are either married or getting married. I spent most of my teens and twenties pining for "the One", thinking "if I just had a solid girlfriend, everything would be awesome".

Yep, that was me. For a long time.

I've thankfully grown up a lot more in the past few years. But I've also reached a point where I'm started to question if I've really "grown" as much as I'd like to think I have, or whether I've just sort of accepted "I don't think I'm really relationship-material" and stopped trying at all?

I mean, I've basically stopped putting in an effort to meet women, or new people at all. My job has been pretty chaotic (and shitty) lately anyways, but I've been filling most of my personal time with trying to start something on the side. The idea of "meeting new people" just sounds fucking exhausting, and frankly, most people turn out to be kind of shitty when you really get to know them, in my experience.

But in that, I can see where I'm starting to become a recluse. You're never gonna meet anyone just "going to work and going home everyday". It just sucks, because I don't really feel like doing anything else, because everything else just seems like a drain of resources.

I dunno. Not really sure if I'm "on the right path" and need to just stay the course, or if I'm just asking for life to pass me by, you know? Like, maybe I've passed the point of being a "realist" and have become a pessimist?