One of my better plates admitted to cheating on her ex

December 22, 2019
68 upvotes

One of my plates, who I was considering maybe making an LTR down the line, admitted to me that she cheated on her ex of 7 years during the last 6 months of their relationship. She didn’t really say she regretted it or anything but I could tell it was because she felt like he was beta (unemployed, didn’t lift, sat around watching tv, etc.) I haven’t been worried about her “cheating” on me since we aren’t exclusive but sex is good and frequent.

Obviously this is a red flag but I’m curious to know how much of a red flag it is. Like I get losing attraction for someone after being in a relationship that long and then going nowhere with their life but at the same time it is still cheating. I also feel like if we never rolled the dice with a girl who had the potential to cheat that would eliminate 95%+ of girls. Maybe I’m making excuses because I admit I do like her on some level but would be curious to hear your input.

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Post Information
Title One of my better plates admitted to cheating on her ex
Author ScaredOfGoats
Upvotes 68
Comments 52
Date December 22, 2019 5:23 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/one-of-my-better-plates-admitted-to-cheating-on.302558
https://theredarchive.com/post/302558
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ee10mm/one_of_my_better_plates_admitted_to_cheating_on/
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Comments

[–]thrwy7547937 points38 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

She didn’t really say she regretted it

This is a bigger red flag than the cheating.

In a relationship with 2 people, each person has chosen the other. That is, she chose to be with him, and he chose to be with her.

This means that she picked someone that would be okay being cheated on, and he picked someone that would end up cheating on him. Both people are stuck in negative patterns.

Like I get losing attraction for someone after being in a relationship that long and then going nowhere with their life but at the same time it is still cheating. I also feel like if we never rolled the dice with a girl who had the potential to cheat that would eliminate 95%+ of girls.

You're rationalizing her cheating behaviour, trying to convince yourself that it was normal for her to cheat. You're saying to yourself that it's okay to forgive her for slipping up that one time. You're Jesus. Great.

However, when you forgive her, and accept her, she's getting the message that she's found someone that's okay with her past cheating behaviour. Do you see where I'm going with this?

You're setting yourself up for being cheated on, and then what do you think will happen? She'll ask for forgiveness, and you'll forgive, because why wouldn't you? You did it before. And, the loop resets.

You're in a non-exclusive thing with this girl. She also spent 7 years with a guy, and it didn't elevate to marriage. She's probably not cut out for monogamy. Your selection mechanism for girls is also fucked up because you're liking girls that, perhaps subconsciously, don't want anything to do with exclusivity.

[–]thestructuralguy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Best comment on here.

[–]Tousen7190 points91 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Tough call. Almost all girls cheat in some form (even if it’s texting a dude once “the feels” begin to dissipate) in fact, it’s how MOST women find their next boyfriend.

That being said, she’s established that rather than communicating or breaking things off, she’ll just step out.

No bueno.

If you feel like you can trust her, do your thing BUT...

AWALT.

You aren’t the exception.

Never forget.

[–][deleted]  (11 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Tousen7115 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I get you but you’re better off starting on the right foot (no red flags) than knowingly stepping into a situation where there’s a glaring one right in front of you.

That just seems lazy to me.

Divorce affects more than you’re wallet. You have kids involved. How’s that going to affect their view on relationships? If you feel like you can trust (like really trust her) keep seeing her but make sure the courtship is LONG- minimum 3-4 years).

If you can’t, stop being lazy and go find a girl you can.

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Tousen719 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Nah you’d be a dick for cheating. Effectively it’s conflict avoidance (see: feminine energy). A real man would just dump the girl, be single, and get another one.

I get you on the fact that a lot of these girls aren’t great these days (especially with feminism and the new hookup culture), but it’s your life dude.

Also, you haven’t said that you trusted her which is very telling.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Tousen711 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Got you.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Marriage is a hoax to trap men.. of their resources, assets and eventual disposability.

It's the Westernised corrupted wannabe version of Spiritual Union..

No pair of humans needs a third party (government) telling them how to manage the finances within their romantic personal lives.. in order to be happy.

It's more "social conditioning" than it is "social acceptance". And no marriage won't guarantee you constant sex and a "happy ever after"..

Sorry to come across as brazingly negative.. it's just uncensored honesty fuelled by a masculine passion and care for most/all men in this world!!

Good luck with everything..

And also to answer your question.. Yes ... AWALT ... and it is a red flag

So while you have all your fun and that.. Put yourself, your heart, mind, body and soul FIRST!!! ALWAYS!!!

[–]Caleb6660 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree about marriage, but if children are involved there has to be some kind of law that protects the woman from having the man simply ditch her once she's pregnant. If we lived in smaller communities where everyone knew each other such shit would not happen, but in large communities/societies the gov't takes this role.

[–]VaN__Darkholme3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is one. It’s called welfare

[–]LaGardie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Only boomers think that having kids without marriage is "socially acceptable".

[–]rizzyfromthe916 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would have higher standards.

If you wife you will be paranoid about her cheating more often now

[–]DarkestShadeOfRed32 points33 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I also feel like if we never rolled the dice with a girl who had the potential to cheat that would eliminate 95%+ of girls.

That's the idea. 95% of women are not relationship material, and this girl falls in that category. If she cheated on him, she'll cheat on you. You also only know her side of the story, don't take her reasons at face value. Chances are there are other red flags you are ignoring, or haven't seen yet. I would not think about promoting a plate that admitted to cheating on her ex for 6 months.

[–]runningwily6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

don’t avoid a relationship and the development of your ability to cultivate relationships just because AWALT. accept it and act accordingly. always be prepared to walk away

[–]HurricaneHugues12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Wife the whore. I know that's what you want to hear.

[–]OfficerWade1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

K. Thx. Bye

[–]muricanwerewolf15 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it's a rare woman that hasn't done some semblance of cheating. Best you can do is hold frame, always be improving yourself and don't ever let her think you can't live without her. I don't really trust any woman, but the best way to make her cheat on your is allow her to become contemptuous of you. So, just don't do that.

[–]SeasonedRP4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Just about every women you will meet has done the same thing as your LTR. Women line up another option before they end a relationship.

[–]CrackDaMarco-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, compulsively as well. They have to in a way.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20026 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

It's the biggest Red Flag.

A female friend of mine admitted to me that she cheated on her man (who was in prison, btw! Just so you get the gist of the situation), and when I asked her "why did you cheat on him?" she said because "he has done it to me" (and it was obviously years before, as he was in prison). He did cheat on her, as me and him visited a massage parlour together. But I think she was also doing it for years before it came out.

This woman was legit wife material. I mean that, too.

Looks, upbringing, career, morals (up until that point I never heard a bad word spoke of her) etc.

When she told me that she cheated, a small part of me died inside as I thought she would have been the last woman to do that - but here we are...

I legit lost a ton of respect for her. Now I just view her as a whore.

All LTR's are built on honesty, trust & loyalty. You need them all.

When a woman is lacking one of these (and your plate lacks all three), you must keep them as plates - because AWALT.

Keep your options open with this one. Keep fucking her, but keep looking elsewhere for a potential LTR.

[–]skizzum978 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I don't see how a woman that married a man who ended up incarcerated ever indicated 'legit wife material' to you lol

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

She wasn't married, and she herself wasn't in prison?

From her upbringing (although granted she is a rebel), to being career driven, a good mom, someone who doesn't do drugs, acts feminine etc. She had all the qualities that you'd want in a woman.

Agreed on her having shit taste in men, though.

[–]NigroqueSimillima2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Shit taste in men is one of the biggest red flags.

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed.

I've said to women "If every man you meet is a cunt, then that's down to you..."

[–]PimpinAce1753 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Once a cheater always a cheater, she will fine a excuse to cheat on you when she’s bored of you

[–]kingofclubsmorde-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I also cheated on my ex-gf when I was 18. Currently 23. Should I avoid monogamous LTR's for the rest of my life because I will ALWAYS be a cheater and thus, will ALWAYS keep cheating?

[–]vullnet123-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

big difference between a guy and a girl cheating

[–]kingofclubsmorde0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Could you elaborate because I am genuinely interested to learn. I cheated because the sex hurt my ex and I was too afraid to break up. So I ended up cheating while drunk and after that I had the guts to break-up (except I was a scared betapussy because I never revealed this to her).

I am interested to hear your point of view for self-analysis.

[–]vullnet1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's basic sidebar material. men don't cheat emotionally, we cheat for sex. You can go fuck 15 girls while in an LTR and still love your main girl, but a girl can't fuck another guy and still love her LTR.

[–]PimpinAce175-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t know, that’s a question you should be asking yourself

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She is not LTR material. She doesnt get past FWB with you.

[–]ElOweTea2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just your turn buddy

[–]oldslut2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

awalt. well, all women have the propensity to cheat, but not all of them do. in this case, she showed you she is one that will act on this propensity. thank her (silently) for showing you who she is, and keep her at plate status. she is not worthy of anything higher than that.

[–]noserotoninforu2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cheaters never stop cheating. If she did it to him she’d manage to do it to you.

[–]Sylvester_Sterone2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like a plate she will always be to you. No point in being committed to someone who has a behavioral pattern like this.

[–]furcryingoutloud2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

TLDR: Never do marriage or an LTR

You get what you focus on in life. And if you think that hedging your bets by reading red flags will save you from cheating, you're an idiot.

Haven't you guys read enough about history to know that everyone cheats? Also, you should learn that women are much better at hiding cheating than men are. Or men are blinder than women when it comes to cheating.

KISS, keep it simple stupid. Don't fall prey to the things that marriage and an LTR can cause so much pain. Never do both either if you can help it. <-- edited both to either

Allow me to make a comparison here. You love cobras, yes, the snakes. Or you may insert any dangerous pet here. You want one as a pet. So you buy one. When you buy one, you should know that the chances of getting bitten are high. Why would you complain about getting bitten down the line? Sure, you're lucky if it never bites you. But this just proves that maybe there is one in a million that didn't think to bite the hand that feeds it.

BTW, this goes for both sexes. Humans will cheat. I'm amazed these things aren't already drilled into your head.

So how do you protect yourself? Make sure you have money of your own, always. If you're going to throw into a pot, make sure you have your own pot, your own fuck you money. And make sure she never learns about it or that will instantly defeat the purpose if and when there is a rupture.

Want to buy a house together? Awful idea, but if you must, then do the lawyer dance and write down all the house rules like, in the case of a separation what happens? In the event you have children? What if you want to sell the house, how is it split? Who gets what? Design your divorce before you design your marriage. Businesses do this all the time and there is no reason for a divorce court to dissolve a properly and fairly written contract between two consenting adults. <-- Buyer beware! Not everything is about logic in this world. I am still totally against marriage, living together, sharing finances, or any other thing that would in any way make me beholden to anyone else.

[–]CrackDaMarco4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's just a plate, dude. After 7 years? She was probably dryer than the Sahara down there. Although, if she was unhappy, I do agree she should have been up front, but HARDLY anyone is capable of doing that - man or woman. She at least owned up to it to you, which displays a level of comfort and trust. It's a hard call to make, dude. I'd just keep having fun for now, put it to one side, and if more red flags come up down the line, then you need sink that ship.

[–]theUnBannableHulk5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Any girl who agrees to being a plate should never be made an LTR when will you idiots understand it.

[–]jjdekock2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

All women are plates. LTRs are just plates with other skills.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Scarcity.

[–]strainer1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

All girls have the potential to cheat, even Jahbaa the Hutt with a wig could get laid with Tinder nowadays.

[–]Musicgoon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Remember; she's not yours. It's just your turn.

I had a plate I wanted to promote to girlfriend. I didn't because she moved away for college. During that time she got into a LTR with a provider guy chump.

She claims that she loves him, but will come to me every few months and hop on my dick raw. I really like this woman but AWALT. It's not a red flag, it just part of nature you have to accept. She comes to me for alpha fux and then takes herself home filled up at the end of the night to her beta bux man. Life is harsh. Have fun and get yours bro. Don't worry about what she thinks. You do you.

[–]Snowaey0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your call but, if he was alpha, would she cheat?

AWALT

[–]Onidramon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

>if he was alpha, would she cheat?

Yes

This often results in prison

[–]second-last-mohican0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

If that's the only red flag.. and you establish that texting other dudes is a deal breaker if you establish that and follow trp she should have no reason and will keep herself in check yeah.

[–]HurricaneHugues10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

All she's gonna do now is delete her text threads with the dudes she's cucking you with.

[–]Krebota-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It really isn't a red flag. You said it yourself; he was too beta. And still she stayed for over 6 years.

[–]Arnoux-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had a kid from a girl who had cheated his ex. At some point you have to consider what you want. A person who will never cheat on you or take the risk and start the family. Life is short and you don’t have infinite possibilities even though trp says you need to have abundance. There are not abundance of perfect girls.

Will I get cheated at some point? Yes maybe. It will suck but atleast I have my kid. (Dna confirmed as well)

[–]skuttt-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My ex wife cheated on her ex with me, then we became LTR then married. My ex wife cheated on me when I got beta and the tingles ran dry. If I’d discovered TRP early enough she’d never have done it. AWALT; they only cheat if they lose the tingles. Doesn’t mean they won’t keep orbiters but you can AM her about that.

[–]Onidramon3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Untrue, they can and will cheat while having the tingles. Plenty of stories of women deciding to go ragefuck a beta orbiter due to Brad’s refusal to bend the knee in a dumb argument. Or someone who simply creates a superior level of tingles than the very real tingles you create, only when you’re not there

Or just plain mental illness. You can’t out-alpha borderline

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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