I've noticed if a girl shows some sort of IOI or interest I immediately lose interest in them, it seems like a trap to humiliate me. I'm only attracted to girls who blatantly aren't open to the idea of acknowledging my existence. What does it mean? You can guess this obviously leads me nowhere. The idea of dominating someone into submission is probably part of it.
Ftr my mother has basically hated me since I was born which seems like it could be connected.
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