Yup, overthinking this, it's for a note on her birthday gift.

I do admire that woman though, she's hardworking and makes shit happen.

I, on the other hand, am going through a bad month. Lost my job and then hurt my shoulder from lifting, which prevents me from finding a new job for a while... I can't let her know that at this moment she bests me.

I'm vulnerable, but I can't afford to show it. gotta be a rock, not letting my guard down. thanks.