I’ve noticed that I can’t really be my true self without the aid of alcohol and drugs. Case in point: Friday night I was out with some mates and I had a couple lines of coke and a bit to drink.

Ran into some girls from one of my HS classes and I start talking shit, flirting making them laugh, the works essentially. Ended up making out with one hb7.5.

Come to today and I have that class with them, It was extremely awkward and I couldn’t even look at the girl let alone talk to her, even though I sit directly next to the three of them. Her two friends had an extended toilet break which I guess was my cue to at least try talk to her but I couldn’t even look over. I was just filled with some overwhelming sense of dread.

At the end of the class I left asap and came straight home. I’ve realised that I’m intoxicated I’m essentially another person, my true self, because everyday I have all these thoughts and feelings locked up in my head begging to get out but I can’t do it, and shit like this happens as a consequence. I need some help dealing with this.

I have that same class tomorrow morning, is there anything you would recommend me to do?