Reconnecting. Good idea? Bad idea?

fnordsnord · 2015-09-08T19:15:13+00:00

If you are hoping to get laid, you will want to attempt to reframe how they see you. Like /u/PemBayliss says: this is hard.

First - don't attempt to make a connection via social media. Keep initial contact short and sweet: "Hey - I'm coming to town next week. We should hook up and talk about old times." Logistics only; no reminiscing.

When you hit town, meet IN PERSON. As soon as you make contact, go for light kino. Talk about who you are NOW and what you are doing NOW. Avoid anything that smacks of who you were back then.

Sketti-Os · 2015-09-08T19:00:44+00:00

Oh, it's probably OK to strike up a chat with someone you run into, but don't do it in the hopes of getting laid. I've found that with exes from the old stomping grounds, their opinions of you are frozen in time. You are, and always will be, whatever you were back then.

Rollo Tomassi says it's not the best Idea to go back to the garbage dump, rooting through the old garbage, trying to pick out something new. Why do you seek life among dead things? Why seek the living among the dead?

What about female friends? To a great extent, same logic still applies. You will always be to them what you were when you lived among them. Their opinions of you will always be formed and shaped by what you used to be, not what you are now; and they will expect you to be what you were, not what you are.

In general, OK, but don't expect to have a lot of success there.

secret_barber · 2015-09-08T19:02:01+00:00

If you feel strongly that any one or two might fuck you, tell them to meet you while you're in-town. Don't "catch up" over email, IM or text. Otherwise, just game women face to face while in town ...the odds of success are about equal, perhaps even better with strangers.

trpftw · 2015-09-08T21:11:10+00:00

As long as you approach them with the idea of NOT having sex, then it might have a good chance. Just drinks or whatever to catch up without mentioning negatives from your past.

exilesoul · 2015-09-08T21:26:17+00:00

It depends if you can really frame these changes

RunawayGrain · 2015-09-08T21:42:23+00:00

Social media is bad. In person is ok. Also, if it's a small town and the girls are still there from years ago, expect much drama.

Title	Reconnecting. Good idea? Bad idea?
Author	Sketti-Os
Upvotes	2
Comments	8
Date	September 8, 2015 6:50 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3k4lgh/reconnecting_good_idea_bad_idea/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/reconnecting-good-idea-bad-idea.153549 https://theredarchive.com/post/153549