I seriously can't tell whether my success is truly in the best interests of his heart or whether he's manipulating me into doing things so he can tout me like some kind of award-winning dog.
First off, I come from a middle eastern family, so cutting off a family member is seen as a very dishonorable and absolutely last resort thing to do. This is why it's so difficult...and it doesn't help that my dad has no family besides me and my siblings.
My gripe is that every time I visit from university, he just fills my head. I try to be assertive but that's just not how things work in my culture, I can't talk over him. Anyways, I'm finishing up a chemical engineering degree at MIT and that's still not enough for him....
He wants me to do a complete 180 degree turn in my career path and pursue an MD on top of that (makes absolutely no sense in anyone's mind but his own)....and he does this by guilt tripping me. He tells me he brought this family to America, he broke his back day-in day-out so that I could be the one that brought home a piece of paper that said M.D. on it. Every time he picks me up from the airport he tells me if I don't do this next stage I will emotionally destroy him. He said that if I don't want to practice, I don't have to but to get the piece of paper for the "respect" it brings. He seems very gung-ho on this, and every time I tell him I want to do something different and relevant to my current undergrad degree he ends up telling me I'm destroying my life, that I will regret not following his advice when I'm his age.
On top of this, he always brings up drug selling allegations with stories about my friends contacting him and telling him I'm "the one" who destroyed their lives (I had a couple friends in H.S. who went off the rails with drugs)...I'M a GODDAMN TECH nerd at MIT FOR FUCK'S SAKE. I don't do drugs, I drink socially, but yet he insists I'm a dope peddler and tries to make me feel like shit. (Yes I was caught smoking weed like once or twice in H.S). Mind you HS was like 7 years ago too. I'm not an alcoholic but he makes me feel like one too b/c I like to drink on Saturday nights with friends.
AND ON TOP OF This, he constantly tries to alienate me from my grandparents (mom's side) b/c he knows I'm close to them...I think my grandpa is very cool and supportive, plus he has a multi-millionaire rags-to-riches brother that's a bit of a douche but also supportive in answering questions. He brings up stories though about how they're trying to destroy my financing of education.
I just don't know if my dad actually thinks these things and is a little bit crazy..maybe he projects these negative thoughts b/c his life didn't pan out the way he wanted it to...but at the end of the day his constant ear-whispering is driving me nuts and I barely visit home anymore b/c of him (which is a disservice to both my siblings and my mother).
[–]thiasus4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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