Signs that she might be cheating need pep talk

June 18, 2019
72 upvotes

So I’m dating this girl for a month now. We became exclusive however I couldn’t help but noticing a text message on her phone. She talks to some guy and at one point she talked about condoms and he was like “let’s make good use of them”. She didn’t say anything back but I noticed she’s still talking to the person. I believe he travels a lot or whatever and wants to meet up with her this weekend. I wasn’t snooping but I glimpsed the text when she left the phone.

I don’t know how to feel about it. I understand that it’s just my turn and heck this could just be a friendly thing. The person might be an old fwb cause she did tell me last time she had sex with someone else was 2 months ago and it was a friend.

For now I’m just going to hit the gym hard. So far she’s been good to me. She cooks for me and we’ve had sex every time I’m over.

What are some signs that she might chest? We’re both 26 and she definitely rode the CC in the past. She said she didn’t want to hook up anymore when we started seeing each other. I don’t want to confront her but I want some peace and be able to just let it go.

Apologizes for the essay.

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Post Information
Title Signs that she might be cheating need pep talk
Author timesinklol
Upvotes 72
Comments 44
Date June 18, 2019 11:35 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/signs-that-she-might-be-cheating-need-pep-talk.242651
https://theredarchive.com/post/242651
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/c215pa/signs_that_she_might_be_cheating_need_pep_talk/
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Comments

[–]TheRedPillRipper118 points119 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I want some peace

Here it is; accept that there are only TWO outcomes; she’s cheating; or she isn’t.

EITHER WAY; you’re at peace with or without her. No amount of pussy is worth your self dignity. If your turn ends; it just frees you up for the next ride.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]TheDreadnought1160 points161 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

So...

Why the fuck are you trying to make a housewife out of a hoe?

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheDreadnought19 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nice post

[–]babybopp27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OP says she HAS definitely rode CC in the past...

HAS

Oh boy is he in for a shocker

[–]ButMessiDeservedIt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice one.

[–]Madhatter7475 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's 26 also (still riding)

[–]hmsthinkingmeat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"I saw a text where she brought up condoms and he said let's make good use of them" then "maybe it's just friendly".

Facepalm.

[–]SupremeBBC68 points69 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

My man, you clearly state she rode the cock carousel yet made her your LTR within a month.

Either leave or forever hold this L.

[–]Ivabighairy118 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not only that but he thinks she left the carousel especially just for him

[–]SupremeBBC6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

she's not yours, it's just your turn

[–]LifeTopic49 points50 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dating? You aren't dating. She already dumped you.

Make yourself the centre of the universe, currently you're focused on her rather than your own life.

If you really want to know if she is cheating - go ignore her. If you ignore her and she isn't asking for your attention - she is cheating. If a woman isn't asking for your attention, she is getting attention of equal or greater value elsewhere.

[–]frontiermarine68 points69 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude..you already gave her commitment after only a month, that's not enough time to vet a woman for an LTR.

[–]Chadster11335 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

1 month old relationship...

[–]frick-a-frack32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s been a month, dummy!

You’re pretending that you have the magical dick to reform a cheater. Dummy!

You made a known whore into your girlfriend in less than a month. Dummy!

[–]mickJagermeisterr24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She is talking about condoms with a guy. I know you like her a lot and you do well together (still on the honey moon phase), but you know what this means, do what needs to be done.

[–]BusterVadge8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So I’m dating this girl for a month now. We became exclusive

Bad idea. How can you know if a woman is a quality person in that amount of time? You cant.

She talks to some guy and at one point she talked about condoms and he was like “let’s make good use of them”. She didn’t say anything back but I noticed she’s still talking to the person.

Someone who respects you wouldn't put herself in that position.

For now I’m just going to hit the gym hard. So far she’s been good to me. She cooks for me and we’ve had sex every time I’m over.

Yeah, and there are literally thousands of women in your area that will do the same. Go find them.

What are some signs that she might chest?

She may already be cheating on you. If your gut tells you something is up, it is right.

My advice considering all of the above, you need to vet women better. 1 month is not long enough. You also seem to lack abundance due to your thinking this chick is so special when you truly barely know her.

I would try to be cool about everything, say that you think exclusivity is a mistake. It's a young enough relationship where she might actually go for it. The bottom line is that you need more experience spinning plates before being able to properly vet a LTR.

[–]0io-6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just line up other girls to date / fuck. When she's out with condom guy just go out on your own dates.

If she asks about it just say you didn't think she was serious about the exclusivity. If she says why not you can say because she's hanging out with condom guy. If she says she didn't fuck condom guy you can say that's fine you also didn't fuck him. If she gets all pissed off and leaves, oh well. If she wants to stay around and be your fucktoy, that's fine, just use condoms yourself.

There's no point in being "exclusive" to someone who's not being exclusive to you, and clearly in this case your girl has no intention of being exclusive. If she did, she would have said something back to condom guy like "I'm sure that would be fun, but I met someone and we're getting serious so you'll have to find someone else. I'm busy with OP this weekend. I know you'll find some special girl someday who's right for you." If she were faithful to you she'd be dumping Condom Guy over text message.

She's just treating you like a backup plan, seeing if she can get you to agree to limit your options while she plays the field. When she realizes that trick doesn't work on you, she'll either hang out with you for fun or she'll find someone else to be her Plan B.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is why you:

  • vet a woman properly (one month? Come on dude)

  • don't try to seriously date a hoe (CC confirmed = she a hoe. Come on dude)

  • date a woman who uses sex to manipulate you ('no more hooking up'? Come on dude)

This is all pretty basic trp stuff and you'd be aware of it if already if you'd actually done your homework - or even just 10% of your homework.

Come on dude

[–]360_no_scope_upvote3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Troll

[–]jeff_vii2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

1 month is an inedaquate time to commit, particularly when the power of commitment is in the man's hand, you come across as someone who's a pushover.

Additionally, if she's still chatting to someone who's chatted that shit re condoms she's a straight up hoe. You know this op. No chick with respect for her man would continue communicate after this, she clearly hasn't enforced her relationship status.

[–]urbanfoh2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She talks to some guy and at one point she talked about condoms and he was like “let’s make good use of them”. She didn’t say anything back but I noticed she’s still talking to the person.

1) So your girls texts with a guy you do not know and she did not tell you about?

2) He is like lets "use condoms together" and she is still talking to him?

Wtf. Right there you have two reasons to hard next regardless of whether she cheats on you or not. If she does not cheat on you that weekend it is only a matter of time.

A good girl worthy of your commitment would have:

1) told you about any guy she regularly texts with, without you asking about it

2) cut contact to ANY man who is actively trying to fuck her

[–]AP33401 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Had sex with someone other than you only 2 months ago? Why in the hell are you with her. She should've been your FWB or plate for ATLEAST 5-6 months. Especially at your age.

[–]MattyAnon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this could just be a friendly thing.

It isn''t. She's talking about usage of condoms with some guy.

She said she didn’t want to hook up anymore when we started seeing each other.

Oh god, the cliché of "I'm not that girl anymore".

Fact is they are ALWAYS that girl, but sadly this line means "I want you to be a beta provider and commit to me".

She'll miss the CC sooner or later.

I want some peace and be able to just let it go.

I dunno...... she isn't definitely cheating..... but she IS definitely keeping her options open.

It's only a matter of time.

LTR's suck.

[–]SeasonedRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Way too soon to get exclusive, and I'm betting it was your idea too. Keep your options open since she's probably screwing this guy.

[–]HumanSockPuppet1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't promote girls to "girlfriend" status until they earn it, dumbass.

Read my Guide to Managing Bitches.

[–]dj10410 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you're already glancing and looking at her phone you're already lost my dude. You're going paranoid trying to recount everything she's said about her past hookups and you're trying to connects dots. It's not healthy, but especially for a relationship this young.

Confront her or don't it's up to you my man.

[–]civilizedfrog0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How long did you vet her?

[–]boom_bostic0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well, it’s likely that she wanted you to see those text messages. Been with many women who were cheating on their boyfriends or fiancés. Never did they unwillingly get caught. Some spent so much time & energy on me, I couldn’t believe they weren’t getting caught. One girl would spend weekends with me at a hotel out of town so we could go out without her fiancé (or his friends/family) seeing us. I was always asking her “Has he asked you what’s going on?” but never once did he inquire into her personal life.

Back to your girl. Either she’s very inexperienced (which you said she’s not) or she wanted to see how much you cared about her.

I’ve had women do this same thing to me before. She accidentally lays her phone in front of me while it has a suggestive text on the preview screen.

She (in a weird way) was probably gauging your reaction. You should have stood up for yourself and laid the law down. That’s what she wanted...whether she knows it or not.

[–]IBeMadToo0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Makes sense. I have a plate that always tries to get a reaction from me by telling me 'so and so guy' has been messaging her to meet up or is asking her over. Best thing to do is not react and tease her about i.e. dgaf.

[–]boom_bostic0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, I’d say it would all depend on what my intentions were with her.

If I wanted to LTR her, I would have to stand up for myself and let her know in a calm but serious and stern manner that this type of behavior won’t fly with me.

I’m letting her know that a man of value will drop her quicker than a sack of bricks if she’s not being an asset for me.

A lot of guys act like this type of stuff doesn’t bother them....that or they instantly react and they’re way too emotional about it.

Most women have never had a man talk to them like a real man, like say her father would. Bring her into your frame. And if you’re a respectable man—this woman will want to earn your respect. So set the bar for her (by your actions, not your words) and she, like most women, will like the challenge.

[–]IBeMadToo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

True - plate and LTR would require boundaries to be set.

[–]mrdeeds19720 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In a civil case this broad would easily be found guilty. You'll drive yourself nuts thinking about this. I know it hurts, but you have to continue work on yourself and start to soft next her. Whatever the outcome, you'll be better prepared.

[–]TheBunk_TB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are operating on borrowed time. You need to find someone else that isn't sharing themselves or at least not lying about it.

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You shouldn't have made her your gf in 1 month. Big mistake. You shouldn't have LTR'd a hoe. Big mistake. You shouldn't believe her (a known hoe) that talking about condoms with another guy means she isn't cheating or going to cheat. Big mistake. She is either cheating or about to. Its a ticking time bomb with this one.

You need to dump her and move on.

[–]ass-my-eat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ohh man. Exclusive after 1 month dafuq? She’s a cc riding THOT and old habits die hard. Stay with her to be cucked into oblivion.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You want peace and to just let it go? Yeh... do that... just let it go. Don’t confront her. Don’t even waste your time. Stop offering this girl you’re commitment. Let it be casual. Lift, diet, work on improving yourself physically, financially, and social and make good sleep a priority. She’s not commitment material. Stop being so available. Meet other women. Keep fucking bet, keep having fun but offer her nothing but dick and indifference. If she ever brings it up, tell her if she wants to be your girl then she will prove it with her actions and her interactions and line crossing with other men ain’t how she’s gonna do it.

[–]azynporter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If she rode the cock carousel then why would you.......

[–]sandal_on0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She disrespected you. You have gotten all info you need. Since she disrespected you, just ghost her permanently and don't give her closure. Ever.

[–]CharlesChadworth0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Does she taste funny/different everytime you kiss her?

[–]INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

SO you upgraded her instantly...you showed you'd white-knight and be the one to commit? You showed your scarcity by taking up the commitment early.

And...you...listened...to...what...she...said.

Yeah...this one ain't going end well.

[–]Yashugan000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why in this day and age would you have agreed to being exclusive in the first month ?

Exclusivity is what YOU have to offer. You've already given her everything she wants without having to lift a finger for it.

You did it because you felt you had to, because it was the right and honorable thing to do as a man, because that's what's expected of you.

Let me tell you something: All of that has been CONDITIONED in you from a young age.

You do NOT have to feel guilty for not offering a girl exclusivity right away.

That is a conversation you can have maybe 2-3 years down the line with good behaviour.

Trust your gut, don't accuse or set ultimatums: soft ghost for a while, see if she approaches or if the side dick keeps her away. Either way you win.

[–]n3n3r3-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Eh everyone’s immediately jumping to her cheating, but that’s not guaranteed to be the case. So don’t just immediately dump her; if she’s being good to you then try not to throw her out immediately.

Just keep our guard up and be on the look out for more signs of cheating, and stay in the clear of thinking with your dick. Don’t try to make excuses when you find signs of cheating.

Godspeed good sir, and please post an update of what you end up doing.

[–]Velebit-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man up

Lift

Earn more

Stop being a pussy

Noob

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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