Soft next aftermath

FinancialThanks1 · 2019-10-01T15:45:09+00:00

You don’t need to say you’ve been busy “I’ve been here”

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-10-01T18:31:13+00:00

Why do you think you owe her an explanation.

You've already fallen into her frame: the one where she tells you what to do, and you have to answer to her for your actions or inactions.

brooklynbooked · 2019-10-01T18:16:31+00:00

Pressure flip. In a playful way, make them out to be crazy for stalking you/being so needy.

AngloWolf · 2019-10-01T16:41:18+00:00

Firstly, you don't owe her an explanation and definately don't add any more ontop of "I was busy".

Secondly, l've never had a girl be anything but grateful for me picking up where we left off after a soft next. However, the emotional response she's giving you is not necessarily terrible as it shows that she was emotionally rocked by you withdrawing attention, therefore you're valued by her. On the other hand it's showing that she believes she can get away with being bitchy/speaking to you like that which is perhaps not the greatest sign.

Thirdly, in situations like this it's easier to diffuse her frustration by conveying your dissapointment in her rather than outright making excuses. The point is, she knows you're playing a game and likely knows why she got nexted.

Lines like:

"I didn't expect a girl like you to react like this"

"I thought you were more intelligent than to act like this"

Work well to convey disappointment in her bratty behaviour.

aWorldBornDead · 2019-10-01T15:57:07+00:00

Well...dont be online the whole day. Either: A. Cover your tracks better so she cant see you're ignoring her

B. Actually have shit to be doing so you dont look like youre playing games

If I'm soft nexting someone I make sure to use a combination of the two.

boy_named_su · 2019-10-01T18:47:20+00:00

Watch some White House press coverage. That guy on the podium never answers a single question he doesn't want to answer, and almost always spins the question to be something he does want to answer. Be that guy

Or try "aww, you missed me!", finally "I don't answer to you"

SonOfMammon · 2019-10-02T10:00:50+00:00

Stop talking to her. Seems like a hardcore cunt to me.

TheHumbleAfrican · 2019-10-01T17:32:01+00:00

You are not a priority. That is all you have to say. I have been busy.

SerbianChadnik · 2019-10-01T17:44:05+00:00

Disengage. Avoid arguments and confrontations at all cost. If she wants to keep nagging you about it, that's her choice, but don't starting justifying and excusing yourself. Reply with something vague or repeat what you've told her already. "I don't want to bore you with the details."

Bornagainslayer · 2019-10-01T19:37:53+00:00

If she started bitching me out I’d just hang up the phone, smack the puppy’s nose until it makes the behaviour / punishment connection

wkndatbernardus · 2019-10-01T23:00:26+00:00

I would just broken record the "I've been swamped" line. Follow up with, "I'm glad we're connecting now" to add a little comfort if she isn't a total C and then change the subject. If she is, why the hell are you still talking to her?

Don_Draper27 · 2019-10-01T17:01:07+00:00

At the end of the day you have to ask yourself what type of people and energies you want to have in your life.

What warranted the soft next? And is she honestly somebody you want to spend time and energy with?

biezpiens · 2019-10-01T18:12:13+00:00

being online all day and being busy all day are not mutually exclusive

i-am-the-prize · 2019-10-01T19:09:38+00:00

"I had more important things and people to address.... we're talking now."

she's a plate, right? you soft next'd for a reason, right?

was it a boundary cross? did you articulate it before hand? or was it a common decency fauxpas? (that doesn't need explaining).

Lateralanouncer · 2019-10-01T20:24:24+00:00

Even if it doesn’t make sense. You could say. I thought you wanted space.

MattyAnon · 2019-10-02T17:04:59+00:00

"texting me takes 1 minute and you have been online the whole day, quit your bullshit".

"I can be even more busy if that's your attitude".

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-10-02T03:19:18+00:00

'Wow. Guess my status did show active. You're a very lucky girl to get me now. Meet me at *** at ***'.

Indifference, Polarize.

If she says no, respond with something like 'And that's the very reason I didn't msg. Flakey. Looks bad for you'.

BurnoTaurus · 2019-10-01T17:17:12+00:00

"texting you may take one minute, but not being a self important cunt takes a lifetime"

SerbianChadnik · 2019-10-01T16:56:19+00:00

hard next

Title	Soft next aftermath
Author	sobrage
Upvotes	16
Comments	40
Date	October 1, 2019 3:43 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dbv7u9/soft_next_aftermath/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/soft-next-aftermath.286978 https://theredarchive.com/post/286978