~ archived since 2018 ~

Still Not Over my Ex After 6 Months

May 7, 2021
98 upvotes

I originally made this thread when I first found TRP: (apparently I can’t link other asktrp threads, but check my top submission)

Our breakup lead me here and a lot of you gave me great advice. Everyday since I’ve been hitting the gym, watching my nutrition, meditating, going for walks, playing chess, reading etc. I even changed my haircut and started working on my style.

It’s been 6 months and people tell me I look really good and different. But, I haven’t as much as been on a date or anything. I tried OLD but I barely get matches.

I’m honestly so fucking lonely. I barely have any friends or anything todo on the weekends. Lately I’ve just been thinking about my ex and how much I miss my old life. This new life is so depressing and lonely.

What do I do bros? I’ve been working so hard but I’m just still so miserable. I was so much happier when I was blue pilled.

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Post Information
Title Still Not Over my Ex After 6 Months
Author shittyfuckdick
Upvotes 98
Comments 106
Date May 7, 2021 6:47 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/still-not-over-my-ex-after-6-months.776326
https://theredarchive.com/post/776326
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/n75siu/still_not_over_my_ex_after_6_months/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–]BlondeHornyElf 240 points241 points  (31 children) | Copy Link

this is normal dude.. i don't care how redpill any guy is.. if a man truly loves a woman, those memories will never leave him until he finds a girl that can top the previous experience (in hotness, personality, lifestyle, benefits, etc.), and sometimes the final girl you get with is not the one that you'll love the most. it's normal and just part of the price you pay when you play the game, doesn't matter if you're bp or rp.

there's nothing wrong with you for this so just keep moving forward and the memories will gradually fade.

[–]thomassummer2021 48 points49 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Fuck this is so sad

[–]thomassummer2021 19 points20 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I feel like it's worth it to keep looking until you find better!

[–]bluejedi24 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It can be sad but it’s real and it’s life. Yes, embrace the pain and keep pushing on.

[–]shittyfuckdick[S] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hey man just wanted to follow up since you have to the top comment. This is gonna come off as braggy but I actually got laid for the first time last night since my ex.

I’m telling this cause it made me realize the perspective on this situation. How earlier yesterday I was in a dark spot thinking I’m never gonna make it or move past my ex, to later banging a girl way hotter than my ex. Don’t know if that’s the universe at work or what.

Anyway thank you for your words.

[–]BlondeHornyElf 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

haha right on man stay on that grind

[–]BlindMaestro 33 points34 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

What’s worse is that his ex likely doesn’t have any of these residual feelings. Most women will screw a dozen dudes or so post-breakup, and that helps tremendously in forgetting an ex.

That’s the answer btw. Know that she isn’t stuck up on you as you are on her. You’re a speck in her rear view (IF that), and she should be a speck in yours. Abundance is the second part of the answer. You won’t be so fixated on one girl if you’re on speed dial for 3-4 other ones. She’s forgotten you in a sea of FWBs and ONSs. Do the same.

[–]BlondeHornyElf 28 points29 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

ya no doubt she forgets about you overnight, unless she sees you with a hotter girl, or you are very obviously doing great without her and it makes her jealous.

imo banging more chicks wont make you just forget a girl you rly loved. it'll help your ego, but you can't replace the depth of a relationship with some good pussy, especially not right away. ass is whatever and you'll still miss the relationship and the life you had with your LTR.

every guy is different on this tho, and it rly depends on if you got attached to your girl and built a little life with her.

[–]BlindMaestro -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

There was no depth. What you experienced was illusory.

[–]BlondeHornyElf 26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

sure on her part. but a man's love and affection can go deep if he's idealistic about his relationship. you don't just forget that overnight.

[–]BlindMaestro 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Indeed. These are the sorts of things that turn guys into jaded plate-spinners. It’s almost like a rite of passage that makes men see the truth and become cynical realists. It’s supposed to be painful.

[–]BlondeHornyElf 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

ya 100% that's how i got here. but imo even if you're redpill a man can still catch feelings and get burnt. i think the difference btw redpill and bluepill is the bluepill chooses to stay in delusion about women, or is just not bright enough to figure it out.

[–]OneTrueQ -3 points-2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You’re nuts bro. Pussy helps immensely.

[–]BlondeHornyElf 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

ya of course it helps but it mostly helps to recover the ego, you'll still miss a real relationship

[–]Chemical-Illustrious 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There’s no time to miss shit when you’re too busy creating tons of memories and basically doing what deep down inside feels like conquering the world and spreading your seed across history (or a city). Take this shit world by the horns and ride this damn bull!

[–]OneTrueQ 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough

[–]OneTrueQ 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough

[–]bluejedi24 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Doing this actually doesn’t properly help them forget a guy. It makes them think so but it doesn’t actually. And if you start living your life properly as the best alpha male you can be, she will never forget you, and there’s a good chance she’ll come back around after realizing shallow flings got her nowhere. Become that alpha, the best guy you can be….perhaps a totally new person than when you were with the last girl….and make her seethe at your success and wish she could have you now.

[–]Fart-_-Loud -4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

how very pink pill of you

[–]BlondeHornyElf 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

what should i do fart loud?

[–]rdotskip 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for writing this

[–]garlicbutter4yu 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes

[–]mayonaishe 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for this comment man

[–]Chemical-Illustrious -2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Disregard this nonsense. No matter how incredible or amazing Melinda gates was to Bill, nothing beats the great ass pussy that turns 18, 19 or 20 each day. Younger girls can truly change your world and quickly make you forget your ex as you show them new experiences such as your favorite movies, songs, drinks or let them experience cool restaurants, nice hotels, or whatever freaking hobbies you’re into, such as ravaging them as you see fit.

Should Bill get a nice 20-something hottie now who worships his ass, he’d triumph over whatever 60 billion dollars he has to lose to Melinda who was bidding her time, with no prenup, waiting to divorce Bill all along.

Just look at Michael Jordan’s ex vs his new wife and you’ll understand.

[–]BlondeHornyElf -2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

honestly i doubt bill and melinda was ever based on real mutual attraction. she got with him after he was already beta-billionaire, so for sure that had to play a role in their getting together. i doubt she ever woke up in a cold sweat desperate to suck his cock.

[–]Chemical-Illustrious 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Melinda was one of the very first employees at Microsoft...

[–]BlondeHornyElf 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

is that right? i was told a different story when i asked on here previously. either way i still see him as a beta male when it comes to raw attraction.

[–]Chemical-Illustrious 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He has 200 billion dollars to his name... that’s raw attraction.

Just got a good PR that makes him look like he’s this needy humble dude. Bet you he has islands full of 18 year olds lol that we know nothing about

[–]Intrepid_Artist 49 points50 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is life. Enjoy being bored and having time for yourself.

My kids & wife are abroad for holidays. I am killing my time over internet. Absolutely love it.

You might get married one day, or you will work your's ass off building business.

There will be days you will want to have time just to be lazy

Enjoy freedom mate

[–]2319Skew 31 points32 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

It's been almost half a decade, a dumpster fire of a divorce and numerous issues in my relationship but I still find myself occasionally day dreaming about my ex.

I notice that this happens when you aren't busy or are feeling lonely.

Your mind will troll you and make everything seem nicer then it really was.

The reality is you're free. Date, smash and play the field. Make new friends and do shit and you'll stop fantasizing over her.

[–]BlondeHornyElf 18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Your mind will troll you and make everything seem nicer then it really was.

ya this is absolutely true.. i remember in my past major LTR we were on and off for a while until shit hit the fan, but everytime we separated i'd idealize her and want her back. then i'd get back with her and within a week i'd be thinking wtf was i thinking? imo this happens when you rly love a girl in a lot of ways but rly dislike her in some other ways.

[–]i-cantfind- 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It’s like smoking a cigarette. The buzz seems like a good idea but after awhile it always ends in a headache

[–]ifonlyeverybody 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

im an ex-smoker myself and the thought of lighting one up is always way better than smoking the actual cigarette.

[–]BlondeHornyElf 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

me too.. i get through half the cigarette and then i'm like this tastes disgusting why am i doing this?

[–]1New_Guard 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's been about 5 years since my last significant ex too. I never dream of being back with her, because her mental health is too shit for me, but I still sometimes think about the good times and wish that her brain wasn't messed up so we could have continued. If it weren't for that, I might have been willing to consider marriage, even with it being the bad deal that it is for men. She was everything I wanted in a woman. Except for being a neurotic, crying mess 1/3 of the time...

[–]comcain 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So you're saying she was an average girl? :-)

[–]1New_Guard 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hah, good one. Except that, no, she was really much smarter and more cultured and more intellectual than average, and all those things are hard to find and valuable to me. But not irreplaceable.

The more time passes, the more I realize even the best of them are completely replaceable.

[–]athrowaway-9001 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Continue on the path of self improvement.

It sounds like you have a lot of trouble being comfortable with being alone. I recommend finding your mission and working towards it-- until then you will continue to derive meaning and validation from external sources, including women.

Until then, work towards being comfortable with being alone and internalizing what you have to do next.

[–]1i-am-the-prize 52 points53 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Like Cortez, you can never go back. You'll never be fully BP again without a lobotomy so give that up.

Glad to hear you're doing good stuff... but there's a catch. Have you read NMMNG? Covert Contracts are a thing. Your is: I'm doing RP stuff, yet I'm still alone.

You do the "RP Stuff"

  • like lifting/training
  • like nutrition
  • like style refresh

becuse it's the right thing to do, if you care about yourself. Remember, you are you own longest LTR. Treat yourself like you'd treat someone else you care about deeply.

But, they are the reward in themselves. Never forget. No one owes you anything just because you're putting in effort. That's the Covert Contract you want to avoid.

Now, next steps... not sure where you're at but try meetup.com lots of clubs, events, outdoor activities, food, philosophy, politics, wine, cooking, biking, hiking, photag groups meetup weekly - many never stopped even during covid, they just kept it on the DL. Most in my area are back in full swing, just require RSvPs to stay under local group size ordinances. Be social to make new connections, practice talking to all women (young/old, fat/skinny, etc) so you don't come off needy/thirsty when you do finally meet one that makes you warm and mushy.

keep it up - but for you - and push your comfort zones to branch out socially.

What you want you can get from any number of women - you just need to meet them. Your ex wasn't the sole key to your warmfuzzycomfort hormones.

[–]r1bb1tTheFrog 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a fantastic response.

I always found that when single, my single best way to find a girlfriend (or girls to date) was to become as social as possible - say yes when friends invite you to group activities or organize some yourself. If you don’t have many friends yet, then find group activities of things you like or things you’d like to try. When you’re joining activities that expand your social network, often you’ll meet people who are also recently single and trying to expand their social network. It doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily date those people, but you’ll eventually meet a few who you click with.

And it’s okay to make platonic friends along the way and better your social skills.

[–]shittyfuckdick[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes I read NMMNG. What you said about covert contracts makes sense.

But then what am I working towards? Like I get TRP answer is yourself, you’re doing this to become the best version of yourself. But that best version includes (in my mind) is having a social circle and getting pussy or a nice LTR. Do I just hope that stuff comes with time and in the meantime embrace the loneliness?

And thanks for the tip about meetup. I tried in the past and it was mostly empty but there seems to be some stuff up there now so I’ll look around.

[–]MyRedGlasses 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

in the meantime embrace the loneliness?

Yes.

Remember, you are you own longest LTR. Treat yourself like you'd treat someone else you care about deeply.

You'd be surprised how many people are terrified at the thought of being alone with their own thoughts. If you can master yourself, you can accomplish anything.

In the meantime as others here have replied, just focus on the improvement, and not the end goal. I've started to realize myself what these folks said here is true, focus on being social and everything else will follow.

By keeping your focus on something other than the end goal: (a relationship, getting laid,) you then come off as cool/collected, and not some thirsty mother fucker. Because remember, in the back of everyone's mind, they're already thinking about sex.

[–]1i-am-the-prize 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

By keeping your focus on something other than the end goal: (a relationship, getting laid,) you then come off as cool/collected, and not some thirsty mother fucker.

it's funny (not funny) how many guys don't internalize this, yet the very same guys will say:

"when I was in a dry spell, it was so hard to get pussy; but then I got a GF and \bam* chicks are IOI'ing me and talking to me all the time"*

the answer is staring them in the face....

[–]Alittihad01 19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Go play the numbers game motherfucker

You look good? cool! then you have multiple grounds to play the numbers game

approach bitches everywhere , talk to them everywhere

you can easily get 2-3 plates in 2 weeks or less if you really play the numbers game and put the work and some effort into it.

[–]SalesAficionado 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This right there. Excellent advice.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I barely have any friends

Primary issue, and fixable.

I haven’t as much as been on a date or anything. I tried OLD but I barely get matches.

Think of this in a basic metaphor - if you can't even lift the light weight in the gym, how could you get better?

This is a mental wellbeing issue, not a girls issue. They are "a lagging indicator of success".

First fix your friends and develop stable relationships with others who will support AND ALSO challenge you.

[–]MindFuktd 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Last sentence, great advice

[–]akihonj 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your issue is that you didn't deal with the breakup early on. You went to the gym, you worked on your style, you did everything but move through the grief process to get over the relationship.

You pushed that to one side to take up everything else as a way of avoiding dealing with what you were feeling at the time and now it's really starting to hit home.

So sit with it, experience it, listen to your body, listen to everything it's telling you, ask yourself why you feel as you do, why you think as you do.

Nobody said it will take two weeks and you'll be forgetting about her, it takes as long as it takes and you'll probably never forget her but you will with time forget about how it felt, you'll remember you loved her you'll also see a lot clearer how things were between you and you'll remember why you broke up. You won't feel anything for her in time, she will become just a memory.

You have to start really dealing with it, if that means crying then by all means, do yourself a solid and lock the bathroom door and cry in there.

A relationship ending, if you loved that person, is similar to the stages of grief, you should check out what they are. It will make you aware of what you're about to go through.

Knowing those stages means that you can put in place behaviours that allow you to go through them without doing any damage to yourself or anybody else.

It's going to take time, how much is down to you.

[–]shittyfuckdick[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I definitely went through the grief. It was fucking brutal dude I was weeping like a bitch. But yea the self improvement stuff really helped me get through it. It gave me a purpose instead of just laying around feeling sorry for myself (which I still do from time to time, I’m only human).

[–]mindbreeder 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just know she is not thinking about you. I have seen the "worst" out of women on both sides. I've fucked some girl who ended a 5 year relationship earlier that week and while we were in bed she says "ugh its my ex hes calling me again". So while what you're feeling is totally normal remember you're longing for a person who doesn't give you a second thought. You're better than that.

[–]Anonymous2k18 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Gotta break the soul tie

[–]MindFuktd 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Care to elaborate?

[–]Raytron_ 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

How

[–]Anonymous2k18 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dm

[–]NewCommonSensei 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey ya know what, have you completely cut her out of your life? Destroy all memories , photos, unfollow on social. Believe me - if you see her face it triggers the primal part of your brain that will release chemicals of love and it will delay you getting over her.

practice focusing on the present, and yourself. What can you do to make your life better? In a relationship you probably put her needs first at least part of the time. Put your mental point of origin to you and your goals. It’s a beautiful life and only you will be along for the ride for the whole time.

This is a new chapter in your life. You’re single and have no one holding you back from achieving what you want from life.

If you’re feeling sad. Get out of the house and do some exercise or sports. Get your mind off it. Don’t wallow. Its ok to feel the pain. Just dont wallow.

Imagine driving your car off a cliff into the ocean. As the car begins flooding with water, feel the icy cold water rushing over your body. Tell yourself this is it. It’s over. This feeling is done and now you’re incapable of love. For the time being.

Good luck. You’re almost on the other side of pain to the world of freedom. It will get easier and better.

[–]ReeeeDrumpf 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep going. As long as you don't stop self improving, eventually you will meet another girl who is better than your ex.

[–]FallenVelocity 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Supposedly it’s takes half the time of your previous relationship to get over your ex. I say it can be done even sooner.

What you need is a good solid group of friends to shoot the shit with. A wolf pack.

Otherwise you’ve been doing good pushing yourself to be a better version of you OP. Continue to stay on your purpose.

It may seem a bit rough right now but in the long term you’re going to look back and smile at all the hard work you’ve been putting in. Guarantee.

[–]machinelearningcool 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yup a group of male friends is the key

[–]shittyfuckdick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Made me smile. Thanks

[–]FollowMeKids 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You answered your own question. You are LONELY, haven’t been on any dates, don’t have friends and don’t do anything. Therefore you crave company and the only thing close to that are memories of your ex. The solution is to find a girl to fill those voids, get your dick wet and you won’t even remember your ex.

[–]Schhwing 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Your mistake was not having a life when you were with her. You depended on her for everything. This is a mistake for many men. When the relationship ends they have nothing else to look to but themselves, and they’re not used to relying on themselves.

Secondly, drastically changing yourself after a break up kind of solidifies that this was a very huge event for you. And I guess it is, but some see it bigger than others.

The changes and improvements are undertaken (in your case) to solidify another LTR (I bet) and the cycle just begins again.

The change you need to make is in your mind. To not seek ultimate meaning in a woman. Look elsewhere for meaning. I’m not saying romantic relationships are not important but if you have other things in your life that make you happy and fulfilled you are stronger and paradoxically more likely to find “love”. Develop some male friends and masculine team hobbies. Fucking volunteer for a cause you find important. Find things that fill you, other than a woman.

[–]________O0O________ 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow this. Definitely very real.

[–]ForgiveMeForgetMe 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

First of all, you are doing everything right ! Keep it up with exercises because it helps you having this sensation of achievement.

Now, about the life been depressing and lonely, you are been nostalgic about old times and you are missing the good moments and not thinking about the bad ones. This is a human thing.

Now, concerning girls, you really need to be in a good state of mind before thinking about them. This girls will suck you a lot of energy (and I hope for you not only energy). I'm pretty sure you are not feeling that great around people. You really need to be in peace with you before enjoying others. The same is for girls.

Keep it up man, try to compare you to your old 6 month ago you. Compare your photos, enjoy been better. Stare at the mirror and tell you that you are most beautiful motherfucker in the world. Be delighted and impatient to be tomorrow to see the newer you. Try new things that you always kept for another day because you didn't have time before. Tell you that since today, nobody will stop you to live the life you are chosing too. You really need to feel that you have power, that you have strength, that you are the prettiest motherfucker in town. Man, believe me, you will have this unstoppable feeling if you continue like this !

[–]Jihocech_Honza 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Try new things that you always kept for another day because you didn't have time before.

Definitely. Enjoy every day of your liberty and the red pill wisdom. Enjoy the free time and the no-stress single life. Pay off your debts, get rid of stupid stuff, make some small goals like saving 1000 dollars. Or 5000? 10 golden American eagles?

And about the unstoppable feeling, watch the Peshwa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUH9jD__qHY

[–]AlfredKinsey 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It can take time to be comfortable being single again. OLD can be a real self-esteem killer for dudes. Focus on socializing with friends and stick to social circle game and cold approach when you want women in your life again. Plenty of other shit to focus on. If you haven’t blocked your ex on social media, etc, do that.

[–]1426kils 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Part of abandoning oneitis is not over idealizing any one woman. But another part is knowing that you can genuinely love more than one woman. You are a male homo sapien. You are a wild animal similar to lions and stallions, and you had a great mare who is now gone. You can love her forever and keep her in your heart until the day you die. That's alright. But dont think you cant love another (or several at a time), or that losing one great one means you will always be miserable. It's just not true. Youre mischaracterizing yourself.

[–]PepinoSF 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You shoul only regret the invested time and money. It is not easy to understand that under the train of feelings, but thats what it is. Start dating bitches. If there are no free sluts around at the moment, get a paid one. In general men are very easy to get pampered. They need only 2 things - food and pussy.

Just dont waste your time pityng yourself

[–]tryingtochange72662 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do some hobby which involves other people. Boxing has introduced me to many new people.

[–]lokilis 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's fine, just give it more time and keep improving

[–]yaboyebeatz 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Why did y’all break up?

[–]shittyfuckdick[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You can read the old thread. Came down to marriage and full commitment to her which I wasn’t ready for.

[–]DatRiggz 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Been there brother. I salute you on standing that ground and bring decisive. It takes a real man to say what you feel and lose someone because of it. You did the right thing.

[–]yaboyebeatz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you’re still stuck in the “I need someone” faze? Do you go out alone (bars, restaurants etc)? I felt like that for a good year after I split with my ex after 10 years of being a BP bitch. That whole year all I did was soak up game, tried hitting the gym, talk to woman even if it was just a quick convo. Now I’m cold, I work, workout, find time to do things I want, reach out to woman when I want to hangout. I go places alone not giving af. If I want a steak, I hit the restaurant solo if the homies are busy. I don’t try and find people to go just because I don’t want to be alone. I rarely cold approach, but I do approach from choosing signals. I always make sure to lock eyes and that is enough for me to know if I’m digging your guts or not. Long story short, work on your game, be cold, always continue to build your confidence and continue to focus on your path bro. The woman along the ride are extras, when they pop up, you have to snatch em up. You’ll never win them all, ever.

[–]berttbeans996 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m in a similar situation as you, still not over my ex and it’s been a year. I wish I could go back but I know I never can.

Man I’d say just keep focusing on leveling up. Money, body, fashion sense, look up how to take better pictures. Practice taking better pictures. Find your poses, find your angles. Just keep leveling up. Pour yourself into a hobby.

I’d say pour yourself into a sport. I’ve met a lot of guys playing basketball. They want to be friends with me because I’m good. I got asked to join a league. The people you know just keeps expanding especially if you’re proficient. Same applies to any sport.

Or a combat sport. I’m sure you’d meet a lot of friends that way too.

[–]KurkTheMagnificent 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing you do can change the past. Accept that peace is a lie.

[–]SteveSan82 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read The Rational Male. Learn Game. Start approaching.

[–]btt069 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fight man, Join BJJ or MMA or any othe kind of Martial arts. You will get to meet with high value men. Read 48 days of Power thread in Sidebar. Its lonely man, but There is light at the end of the tunnel, just don't stop what you are doing now, keep doing but adding more to that.
Other commentors have already given excellent advices.

[–]1426kils 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Being in brotherhoods, friends or family or activity or work, cures all this stuff. I've said it so many times and everyone agrees that there is no truer love than that found in brotherhoods. Giving less power to women becomes easy when you have brothers. Even telling our stupid moms in their little girl brains to fuck off is easy for guys with brothers. It just works.

[–]Peach1632 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Look at it this way: Post break up the time is going to pass regardless, and one of these days you’ll suddenly realize that you think of her less and less and that you’re through the worst of it. When that realization hits, you’ll also realize that you could have let the time pass while wallowing in misery, getting fat, and doing nothing to better yourself. Instead, you did all of the things you mentioned above. As a result, when you ARE ready to truly move on, you’ll be in the position to have so much to offer a woman that is worthy. You will not regret this!

You’re still grieving the loss of what could have been. That’s normal. You’re faking it till you make it, man. One of these days how you feel on the inside will start to match up with how good you look on the outside! When that happens everything will fall into place for you.

[–]GEEZUS00 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’ll learn to live with that lesson and move on. You’ll get used to it eventually.

[–]PhaedrusHunt 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The bigger the wave, the greater the chance for an epic ride.

Six months is the blink of an eye kid.

Hang in and hang ten.

[–]fic3 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

One year after my ex left me for another guy out of the blue. From that day on I am in NC and it works well. But there are times when I miss her badly... Like I have a deep hole in my chest.

[–]glowing_dolphins 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How many women have you asked out in person?

How many events have you organised with friends?

Genuinely, it sounds like you have your hand in a fire and are complaining about the heat.

[–]Yashugan00 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"But, I haven’t as much as been on a date or anything. "

I got over my ex in a big way when I started seeing other girls.

What you're above saying once again re-affirms my belief that:

"Love is the realisation you can't get (or deserve) a better partner"

As such: the problem is you, of self esteem, and the refusal/inability to get out there and meet other people. because once you do, you realise there are some really great girls out there, for different reasons that what you valued in your ex.

It's understandable of course, you've been cooped up so long, you lack the abundance mentality, you're lonely and your mind wanders to what you lost. (which you know is not the girl, but the intimacy and bond you used to have.)

[–]Chemical-Illustrious 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

HAVE YOU FUCKED ANY OTHER GIRL? if not, then get off this sub and go fuck a new girl. Fuck tons of them. Get rejected two thousand times till you fuck a new girl. Once you do so, you may whine and complain.

“Your desire to miss your old ex who is getting piped properly plummets with the amount of good pussy you get. It’s science.” - Abraham Lincoln 2000 BC

[–]BrazilRedPill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to be busy on the weekends. This is your main problem and the number one thing you must address right now.

Start with things you can do alone. Long bike rides, walking, running etc. Then you need to find a group of weekend activities. Knives forging, tennis whatever.

You need to compromise your weekend with things that you need to do and be part of a group. It will be a lot easier to find friends this way.

Do your stuff, live your life your way, express yourself, share interests with others.

[–]mayonaishe 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It takes a LONG time. I wasn't really over mine for perhaps 3 - 5 years. I met someone soon after we broke up but I needed more time. It took me 6 months from breakup to be at the stage I could be in another relationship but it took years after that to truly be able to say I was OK again. Not the same person as I was, different but OK! Honestly think my current LTR deserves the guy I was with my ex but what can you do, had to learn somehow.

[–]drakehfh 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Years ago I was in the same situation (might still be from time to time).

First you have to learn that you miss the image of her, and not her as a person.

I had a LTR of a few years who would do anything for me and ask for my permission for literally everything. I totally owned her as a person.

Had to leave her for other reasons and couldn't take her out of my mind because I missed owning a girl like that. I could rarely invest in sluts but this girl did earn it.

Learn to live with it and understand that this is normal.

Go to some new hobby classes, meet new people. Find girls similar to that one and you will finally be able to replace her.

[–]Raytron_ 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Fuck man Im in a similar scenario right now. I had this amazing girlfriend but we had to break up due to reason out of our control. Its so hard to accept the end to a relationship when you both still have feelings and things were going so well.

I dont feel like Ill find a girl of that quality again. How do I move on from that??

[–]drakehfh 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Find a girl with the least issues and train her. There is no magic way.

A submissive feminine girl is a good start. Then you teach her.

[–]AnonBro34333 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Swallowing the red pill doesn’t make you feel less emotion towards a quality girl you planned your future with. I’ve been red pill for 6-7 years.

I was in a 2 year LTR and we’ve been broken up going on 2 months. Doesn’t matter what forums I read, videos I watch, or the negative thoughts I make myself think of my ex. It’s been very tough for me to fully move on.

I’ve gone through 5 plates in the past month and temporarily it makes you feel better but subconsciously I realize they couldn’t fill the shoes of my ex - she set a new standard and unfortunately in today’s society it’s hard to find a replacement when you have a high quality LTR it doesn’t work out with. But don’t expect to meet a quality girl that could replace the thought of your ex at the bar or tinder, etc. they’re sluts and it’ll make you miss your ex more, contrary to popular belief.

Just know you’re not alone for what it’s worth. I have days I don’t wanna get out of bed - I have other days that she won’t even cross my mind.

It’s hard to truly believe it right now, but there is plenty of women out there that won’t only fill her shoes, but set a new standard and bring you much more joy than your ex.

Right now isn’t a time to worry about an LTR. When you’ve been with someone for years you adapt to a new way of life and you’re used to having them by your side most of the time so of course you’re gonna feel like a piece of you died. You gotta focus on yourself now and as corny as it may sound, learn to be happy with yourself. Don’t expect a high quality woman to come along if you’re not high quality yourself.

Take the breakup as a learning experience. Use the information you learned and apply it to future relationships. Focus on the gym, making money and your hobbies. Don’t forget, you’re the star of your own movie and anyone who comes along is lucky to be in it. You’re the prize. Not her.

[–]shittyfuckdick[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks bro sorry you had to experience this too. I’m still going through my transformation but both mentally and physically I’m such a different person. I just haven’t grown socially and cause of that in super lonely. And the lack of women really hurts my ego.

But I’m hoping to push through and find people. I’ve come to terms about not finding another LTR to replace her, sort of. At this point I would feel lucky just to have another LTR.

[–]AnonBro34333 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Believe me, it sucks. I can assure you I am going through everything you are no matter how depressed you are feeling. I’m not ashamed to admit this breakup made me the most depressed I’ve ever been, no question.

Regardless if you an abundance you will feel that you can’t replace your ex. You can and will.

Take this time to better yourself. Your life is only as good as you decide to make it. Stay in the gym and diet. Look up “75 hard challenge” I recommend trying that out.

Hang in there bro, give it time and you’ll look back and wonder why you ever let the breakup get to you.

[–]Raytron_ 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Man I completely relate to your third paragraph there. She set such a high standard... not even in just looks but personality and character. Something I've never seen before from any other girl, which is what makes this so hard to move on from.

[–]AnonBro34333 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Think logically though. You have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding one girl in the entire world better than every other girl.

Don’t pick up chicks from the bar or tinder and expect them to be able to fill the shoes of ur ex though

[–]Raytron_ 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah ive never had the urge to look for girls there. She is definitely going to be hard to replace

[–]TeddyMGTOW -2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I heard this on a youtuber...its out of the box thinking. i want you to think of her while you jerk off. try that for a while and report back..sounds crazy but he swears by it...

[–]shittyfuckdick[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

NGL I jack it to her nudes from time to time. Doesn’t help

[–]NoFaithInThisSub 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

well there is a start, burn those nudes.

[–]SalesAficionado 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bad habit, you need to quit cold turkey brother.

[–]bluejedi24 -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Didn’t read.

It’s ok man. Sometimes it takes a few YEARS. Trust me. Been there. Took me about 2 full years once to feel truly “great” again about life.

Just keep pressing on and working hard toward your goals and bettering yourself. One day you will feel good again. I promise. It starts with belief in yourself.

[–]Fart-_-Loud -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

get banned for advocating oneitis

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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