Kind of a weird situation; a (female, married) coworker invited me to a bar where her stepdad's band was gonna be playing. She wasn't going to be there, but it sounded like a good time. Her mom (who I also work with) and sisters were going to be there, and I've met one of the sisters (we kind of hit it off the first time we'd met, but I don't think there's any real interest there).

I thought it sounded like a fun excuse to get out of my apartment for a night, and I'm really trying to shake things up and get outside of my comfort zone. But about an hour ago, as I start getting ready, I just start playing all of these nightmare scenarios in my head.

"Fuck, I've been trying to grow my beard out, but it looks like shit."

"I'm so fucking fat, I shouldn't even be going out until I've lost more weight."

"What if the sister things I'm creeping/stalking, trying to make a move on her?"

"The mom just asked at work if I thought I'd make it and I said I was planning to, is it going to look weird if I don't show?"

"Why was I even invited? That's weird, right? Was I supposed to politely decline the invitation?"

"It's cold outside, but bars are always hot, am I going to be carrying a coat around the whole night?"

"Should I go, just say hi to the mom, and then drift around and find other people to hang out with?"

"This is probably why you're such a goddamn loser."

I haven't had a legit panic attack in a looooong time. I feel like I'm slowly just freaking out, and overthinking shit by like 10,000% but I can't seem to stop myself or even slow down.