~ archived since 2018 ~

The line between being RP and just being a dick

March 27, 2017

I've been loosely following this sub for two years. I believe a good chunk of it, but try to weed out the extremism, just like any mindset.

My (albeit few) friends are not RP by any means, but they're also not white knight pushovers. Just kind of run-of-the-mill Joe Schmoes. We all seem to share the same humor, which mostly consists of wise-cracks and jabs at one another. It's been like this since college five years ago. I've carried this over into my dating life. I know many of you don't agree with LTRs, but I've had one. And I treat her just like one of my friends when I'm around them.

I've recently come to find out that they've all been talking shit about me behind my back. The LTR showed me the messages when they invited her into the chat. Bringing up all of my joking insults, but apparently neglecting the times where I've given them places to stay when their girlfriends kicked them out, or lent them money to pay bills, or even just went out for drinks when they were having a crappy day.

Obviously I'm cutting them from my life, but it's really eating away at me that those I considered my brothers, those I trusted, would all agree that I've "become a dick recently". Why me? They crack jokes on each other all the time. Why are mine "dickish", but theirs are all fun and good?

It's led me to believe that the line between being alpha and just a straight-up asshole is far narrower than I had imagined. As someone who is admittedly bad with social cues, can anyone explain this line a little more thoroughly?

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Post Information
Title The line between being RP and just being a dick
Author Sketti-Os
Upvotes 23
Comments 17
Date March 27, 2017 4:10 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/the-line-between-being-rp-and-just-being-a-dick.88448
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/61t2u7/the_line_between_being_rp_and_just_being_a_dick/

[–]GetHimSomeMilk15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They can't help it really. It's crab bucket mentality. They just aren't tough enough to deal with life just move on and wish them the best

Oh and the social cues thing, honestly I don't think I can explain that, it's just kind of instinct maybe someone else can try I'd be interested too

[–]creating_my_life13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why are mine "dickish", but theirs are all fun and good?

There's two kinds of jokes. Good-humored, everybody has fun teasing; and stuff that cuts too close and is hurtful.

You REALLY have to know the difference, and when to back off.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I verge on being the asshole. Yet I just get told to cool it down and I'm still friends with everyone. It's better to err on the non pussy side and dial it back if you get douchey in my opinion.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's a difference between an axe and a scalpel. Learn it.

Also, you should be aiming for "mildly subversive", unless someone really has it coming, in which case it's ok to tee-off on them. But generally you shouldn't be brutal to someone who doesn't deserve it.

[–]adam_varg2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe you crossed that very fine line between joking and being asshole.

Since you are smart enough to figure out that redpill isnt dogma and on top of that there is endless source of material from idiots who didnt, i would guess its just crab bucket mentality. Not much you can do about it.

If you improved yourself and your life, and they didnt, especially if it was in short time and your gf is behaving while theirs are shitting over your friends head i would bet on that.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

RP is about frame control.

Dicks are consistently angry, have victim beliefs, and have a zero-sum scarcity mentality. This is because they have poor frame control. There's nothing that shuts down your critical thinking, shame, and empathy like anger and rage.

Sure, there's definitely strength in passionate anger, and you'll tend to attract both like minded people, and codependent toadies into your social circle.

But, most non-angry people don't enjoy being around that kind of mental frame. Long term, you end up alienating valuable people close to you.

Meanwhile the other angry fuckers in your life eventually stab you in the back like any self-respecting gangsters. Why? Because they want validation for their victim beliefs. They're too angry to think critically about this, or feel guilty.

[–]LordThunderbolt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Trust nobody dude. I learned this early. Now I keep my grass cut real low so that no snakes show up in my garden.

[–]MrAnderzon2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yea just ghost them and your girl. Don't tolerate any disrespect. They will come back around but it will be up to you to accept them.

[–]11-Eleven-114 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Why would he ghost the girl?

[–]MrAnderzon0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because she's part of that group tolerating his friends talking shit about him.

[–]11-Eleven-111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No she isn't. She told him that his friends were talking behind his back.

It's like you hear there is a girl involved in the story so your automatic reaction is to ghost her.

[–]SpinPlates0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

They probably envy you.

[–]1Maverick1-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Dude. Chill. People do this all the time. Stop actin like a bitch. I'm sure there are times you trash talk friends behind their back too. It's human. Plus, whenever you come up in conversation it's usually because you left some sort of impression on someone. Whether it's bad or good is completely up to you. But the way you post this makes you sound like all the hard work and effort you put into those relationships is moot and over what? Some texts? GTFO. If you really think that way, it's your fault for hanging around a bunch of nobodies in the first place so maybe you should go find new friends.

[–]terereaholic1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've never back stabbed my bros like that, it's really unattractive for a man to commit such atrocity, they are your bros from another mother, mates for life.

So don't generalise, that we all do it. There are few men that still consider friendship a strong bond and loyalty being an attribute that ties this bong stronger.

People that believe this is normal, disgusts me. Learn some manners.

[–]1Maverick1-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link


[–]TurnDownForWhat-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Doesn't exist when your SMV is high enough.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

deleted What is this?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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