The more I improve the more hate from men

Musicgoon · 2021-04-22T18:42:39+00:00

I can't say I have. When I went from fat to jacked it was more men that gave me props than women.

It might be that you're too neutral. That might give off a pussy vibe. There's something hard wired in men that makes them automatically treat a little bitch of a man like shit. And if you look like you're in good shape, but your frame is really weak you will get treated poorly by default.

Work on your social skills and build your tribe.

CuntMonteCristo · 2021-04-22T20:21:17+00:00

Like Schwarzenegger said...everyone pities the losers, jealousy has to be earned...

pnzndltn · 2021-04-22T21:13:22+00:00

This is normal IMO. Mediocrity is generally celebrated. When you improve yourself people are threatened especially dumpy losers. Stop worrying about them and focus on meeting higher value guys who don’t have that problem. Guys who have things going on in their lives.

kclanton80 · 2021-04-22T19:46:11+00:00

Have struggled with it my entire life actually. Every friend I had was jealous. My own brother was jealous. I did well.with women but I was humble about it.

They could not stand it.

chodoboy86 · 2021-04-22T21:15:36+00:00

If we go through life without making enemies then we've never stood for anything important. Trying to be liked by everyone won't give you success, the most successful people in life have hate clubs. The skill is knowing when to be liked and when to crack skulls.

In saying that if people are hating on you for self improvement are dickheads.

drakehfh · 2021-04-22T19:04:33+00:00

This is because you are getting better and they are not. Does it need so much thinking to get to this conclusion?

You don't have to "struggle with this". Just ignore them, use it as a motivational thing and go get better.

froze_gold · 2021-04-22T20:00:19+00:00

I noticed this too for myself, and I've heard before that people will dislike you because you'll end up making them feel insecure. No one on TRP seems to believe that.

I've deduced it to three reasons: 1. They're jealous 2. You're doing something subconsciously 3. They're just assholes

TheStumblingWolf · 2021-04-22T21:33:23+00:00

Your kicking ass reminds them they're stuck and don't know what to do about it. Ignore. But maybe find new circles to move in. Find people with things in common with you.

mostlikelyathr0waway · 2021-04-23T00:48:41+00:00

This blew up more than I thought it would. Basically my main group of guys friends are all jacked guys but they get no girls. But they consistently see me on social media with beautiful girls (I live in LA) and I think it frustrates them because I’m much smaller than them. Even though I’m 6’2. Also they see me making more money and I noticed a turn of things when I took home the hot girl they were all trying to get at for awhile. All thank you the red pill of course

TheeRickySpanish · 2021-04-22T21:31:20+00:00

Yep, get ready for that. Men are some of the biggest haters on the planet, far worse than women.

Take it as a compliment though when that happens, it means you’re doing well. Also, don’t think you need to “soften” your aura of confidence to accommodate these pathetic assholes. Even some of your friends who have nothing going on will start to resent your success and even challenge you. They can either climb the mountain with you or get left behind, just the way it is.

You’ll see a big difference between the friends you have when you’re successful and the friends you had when you were at the bottom.

Sonic_Uth · 2021-04-22T23:04:13+00:00

Crabs in a bucket.

Musicgoon · 2021-04-22T20:22:46+00:00

Leaders aren't neutral. Fun people aren't neutral. High smv guys aren't introverts that dwell in basements.

Op has to be bold. The guy that sits in the corner looks weak.

SteveSan82 · 2021-04-23T06:19:29+00:00

More women notice you, more men start shit. Part of success

Vegetable-Ad5980 · 2021-04-22T21:30:38+00:00

its because your not acting or looking anymore like your previous social rank.

people who've known you for a while expect you to act in accordance to the social rank they've pinned you as and if you don't the cognitive dissonance causes problems especially if you've started to have more smv then them previously. shaking the social hierarchy requires change and you know how people are about change.

hell even if you dont know them guys will act a certain way towards you out of jealously. me being 6'6 and buff and decent facially i get a lot of hate from other men now who are not around my smv.

when just your mere presence and genetics are at the point it reminds someone how inferior they are to you it causes inferiority complex issues in people that they then project onto you. prime example are manlets in clubs trying to start shit when drunk just because you walked by them.

people on here dont get it seems that some dudes get so insecure they will try to kill or hurt you to prove a point to themselves if your smv is high enough or past a certain point. this has been happening for years if you look at history etc.

FoggyDanto · 2021-04-23T07:20:50+00:00

Yeah you won't believe it but there are actually never any true friends. Everyone always want to have something that they know they're better at you. The moment you begin working on that/those weaknesses and becoming better is the moment you begin threatening the hierarchy.

And usually friends always go along the lines alpha rolling with with betas.

tucckk · 2021-04-22T21:13:26+00:00

“If you are willing to look at another persons behavior as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves, rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time, cease to react at all” - Yogi Bhajan

Insecurity projection is hilarious once you’ve been fat and helpless. I too was like that once. Now I’m down 80lbs, feel great and look great. Guys pick at me nonstop, and it is always something they themselves are lacking in. As you continue to progress, they stay stagnant and they will continue to be like that. If they hate you, fuck em. Doesn’t matter, because at the end of the day, all that matters is you and your family.

150420throwaway · 2021-04-22T22:19:06+00:00

Welcome to the real world. If playing a lot of video games taught me anything (I know I know, video games), then if you’re coming across enemies then you’re going the right way - sounds corny as shit but it makes sense.

I notice some people at my work are envious just over the fact that I am studying and they never did or didn’t manage to do anything with it - before I could talk to them normally (even with a slight language barrier), but after that, they suddenly try to act as if they are better than me and don’t help me out as often as before or sometimes don’t even fucking say “hello” or anything themselves lol, petty bitch behaviour.

That’s why I’m somewhat grateful to be introverted (60/40 Extrovert to introvert according to some tests) - I don’t need people to be happy, or at least not as many, and I’m not dependent on others, at the cost of social skills though.

rn7889 · 2021-04-23T01:07:13+00:00

Watch Vikings. Ragnar got hate from his closest friends the more in control and authoritative he got. In the end he had everyone’s respect.

mickenrorty · 2021-04-23T03:36:08+00:00

Old friends that knew me as a beta 100% talked shit about me behind my back. I cut them out and never looked back, was hard losing friends but far worse to stay the same

drewcer · 2021-04-23T00:56:20+00:00

I’ve dealt with this tooonnnnnssss!

Assuming you’re not inadvertently doing anything to piss them off, yeah it happens all the time. You gotta find better places to meet men with goals who are trying to improve themselves. They’re actually few and far between, which gives you an idea how valuable you are to girls when you’re a guy who’s dedicated to self improvement.

Men have an innate understanding that it’s a constant dominance hierarchy for us. Even if they don’t consciously realize it’s there, they know subconsciously.

My guess is other guys were nice to you because you were non-threatening to them as a beta. Like a little lap dog. But especially if it’s the same guys who were your friends when you were a beta, they feel threatened by your rise in status.

Ie, “this guy is becoming more likely to get laid with the girls I want, and take the resources I want, and now I am the beta, so I should shun him in hopes I can turn the tribe against him.”

Real alpha guys don’t do that. They have developed higher maturity and ability to deal with emotions, so they see a threat to their status as a fun challenge to level up instead of getting butthurt.

I can’t tell you how many times this happened to me. I don’t even hang out with “regular joe 9-to-5” guys anymore because I can’t relate with them. They all get pissed off that I exist. All my male friends are entrepreneurs or doing something awesome or passionate with their lives.

Which reminds me of a funny story, this happened almost 10 years ago now:

One of my best friends back when I was beta started telling everyone I’d “changed” and I turned into an asshole once I started improving myself. He literally made up lies about me like a petty little high school girl and wouldn’t stop bitching about me to people trying to trash me behind my back.

He did that all behind my back, for two years, while he acted like we were still friends to my face. He even started asking me for advice attracting his girlfriend.

I knew it was happening but never let it get to me. I have a really long fuse. Until, after two years, he just wouldn’t stop, and it finally got to me.

So I fucked his girlfriend.

Am I super proud I did that? Not particularly. But it wasn’t entirely just to spite him and I don’t regret it either. She was hot and good in bed.

She’d been blatantly flirting with me whenever I saw her, and she looked for any excuse to hang out with me without him present. I totally ignored her advances until one day I asked myself, why am I resisting this? [her bf] is treating me like literal shit, and up to this point I’ve ignored it. Plus at the time I thought she was cool, tho made it clear I wasn’t going to do an LTR with her. She rationalized all these excuses for wanting to fuck me anyway.

Moral of the story is - my friend CHOSE to become MORE beta by getting pissed off that I took the initiative to become more alpha.

His girlfriend was someone who he was constantly complaining about me to, behind my back.

With every whine and shit-talk he made about me to her, her ape brain went, “holy shit looks like [drewcer] is the alpha now...”

So frankly, the more dudes get pissed off that you just exist, the more it means you’re doing something right.

Also, sorry for the novel but I just felt like telling that story.

DoubleConversation4 · 2021-04-22T22:26:53+00:00

You finally figured out why Communism exists.

mraliyev · 2021-04-22T21:26:42+00:00

You are not supposed to give a fuck. When you are at a point where they know they will never reach, then they will admire you.

redditthrowaway1478 · 2021-04-22T22:21:26+00:00

Two things:

You're a threat. Take it as a compliment.
Master/slave morality.

Men who understand and respect the masculine psychology around competition will generally treat you how you treat them. So I'd also encourage you to take stock in your own beliefs and perceptions from time to time - are they actually hating on you for no justifiable reason? Or are you projecting? It can be very difficult to discern between the two (especially the younger you are), but if you can consistently recognize the difference, it will only help you self-improve.

yaboyebeatz · 2021-04-22T23:48:14+00:00

Laugh as you pass while hitting the dash. Fuck em g, stay on your shit.

SmashNDash23 · 2021-04-22T23:55:13+00:00

That’s proof you’re actually doing the work and improving. Hate never comes from above. Keep doing what you’re doing.

ChoiceFix · 2021-04-23T00:10:57+00:00

That’s because they already assigned you a certain role and now you are changing your frame. Maybe, they see that you started getting something that you don’t deserve, according to their opinion.

Classic_Touch · 2021-04-23T00:28:36+00:00

I get treated different from women because I am not horrrible looking. I can just be walking down a hall minding my own bussiness and I get dirty looks. Don't pay them any mind. Not everyone is like that and you don't want people like that around anyway. Maybe they should work on themselves and they wouldn't dislike you so much for doing it.

mraees93 · 2021-04-23T00:49:43+00:00

Still adapting to this as well. I lost lots of weight. Still chubby, most of my muscles don't even show yet but I have lean face and I'm 6ft2. Get approach invitations like 95% of the time I'm in public. New guys I met recently always imply that I'm ugly, always saying negative things(attention seekers). Old friends(who really haven't done much to improve) tell me I'm lying about some girls, they talk about their friends muscles and always imply that I'm still chubby. But I noticed when I'm around other tall guys or guys with big muscles I get the most attention from women(thats when I found out face is more important than height and muscles).

I wasn't ready for the hate as well, didn't really know how to react. I just dissed them back. I also noticed that guys that are around equal smv to me, those guys aren't like that and are more understanding. So as the saying goes, a hater is doing much less than you.

GEEZUS00 · 2021-04-23T01:16:40+00:00

Ah same. Dudes at stores pull their S/O closer to them when I’m around like wow I really make you that insecure fool 👍🏼

Enjoyitbeforeitsover · 2021-04-23T01:45:38+00:00

who gives a fuck ?

BlindMaestro · 2021-04-22T22:10:06+00:00

It’s possible this is a crabs in a bucket-type deal, but you should ask yourself honestly if you’ve been treating them differently, perhaps even contemptuously, for their beta qualities.

halleluiaiaia9292 · 2021-04-22T19:05:54+00:00

You are probably not socially aware and you are missing something.

You are telling your view from your point of view.

Maybe in other peoples’ eyes you are “that idiot that started hitting the gym and now thinks he’s cool” or “he’s trying so hard to be alpha but it’s all fake”

Who knows? Hard for us to judge.

Clearly you are missing something.

Men don’t hate you just because you are “improving”

PhaedrusHunt · 2021-04-23T04:54:50+00:00

Bro you ever take a big dog to a dog park? Little dogs that stand no chance will flex on it. I used to have a big male anatolian shepherd and shit happened all the time. He just ignored it, and the rare times another dog took it too far just handled it then went about his business, which was having fun, running with the big dogs, and the cool little dogs.

I'm a business owner. All my friends are too. It would be kind of hard to hang with a dude that works at Chili's

Time to up your game

RedEyeBlackEye1 · 2021-04-23T10:43:42+00:00

HEY OP, The 3 things I hate most about Self Improvement (also NOT often talked about):

1) Haters. Some of them might've been your "friends"(at one point), some of them are just dudes trying to "be cool with" you, and some might even be male coworkers. They ALL share one title though...they're ALL HATERS(yes it needed to be capitalized). I just try to focus MORE on leveling up even higher on the motherfuckers and LESS on just flatout beating their ass down(like they REALLY deserve frfr)...eat a brick little bitchass motherfuckers.

2) Insecure chicks. I can't stand to see attractive, but very insecure females. They are the WORST bc they don't even know their own worth. She'll ignore, avoid, or even straight up snub YOU(the attractive masculine guy) and dickride (and suck-n-fuck) some motherfucker who isn't even anywhere near your smv level. You'll LITERALLY be better looking face, broader shoulders, smarter, more masculine swagger, more CHARISMA (personality/humor), stronger(and can whip his ass), you KNOW you could fuck her better, etc. However, due to her narcissistic ego, crushingly low self-esteem, and INSECURITY (plus need to be "the goodlooking one")... she'll let HIM fullfilled his fantasies with her instead of YOU ravishing her(or even getting a date/chill session). Kinda makes me wanna beat his ass AND hers tbh. But for EVERY clownhoe like her there's 10 REAL WOMEN that'll treat an attractive man(YOU) right...ong

3) Close, but No cigar chump. You've put in the work so far and you've made HUGE progress in multiple smv character stats, BUT... You're still not even halfway to becoming the greatest version of yourself that you Invision.

Tldr; haters make me wanna stomp em out, insecure chicks make me fucking sick to my stomach (literally...eww), and progress isn't quite end result.

catsdontsmile · 2021-04-23T01:32:55+00:00

You sound like a jackass who's full of himself, maybe that's why. All this woe is me crap saying you "used to be beta", saying you're confident in yourself yet you come to the internet to post about what others think about you. Yeah, I'm not buying it.

berttbeans996 · 2021-04-22T20:26:42+00:00

Who are these guys and what indicators are they showing you that they dislike you?

Andrew54321 · 2021-04-22T21:51:00+00:00

Sidebar

nevernotthesame · 2021-04-22T22:33:12+00:00

they see you as a threat. i experience this as well... use it to your advantage. it weeds out the losers from the winners.

NichRigga- · 2021-04-22T22:39:52+00:00

This happened with my old friend group. I dropped most of em

psychotropy · 2021-04-23T00:28:48+00:00

There's a balance between being too aloof and being a creep.

CoachOcelot · 2021-04-23T03:28:27+00:00

Yes. You will. Firstly: get used to it.

Secondly: don't sweat it because those who get jealous are not worth any energy anyway. They hate because they're string in feminine energy and would rather wish you worse off to level the playing field than put themselves through the hard work it takes to get to your level.

It is the female, socialist (forceful flattening of the natural inequality to achieve parity) mindset, versus the male, capitalist (survival and prosperity of the fittest) mindset that doesn't care about parity.

If these people vote, take note of how they do and whom they vote for it's telling. Surround yourself with people who will push you, rather than complain and drag others down. I've had this hate and jealousy since I was a kid, but those people just get left in the dust.

cooldoolman88 · 2021-04-23T04:02:38+00:00

When your up haters will hate. Ignore their bullshit

goblinboglin · 2021-04-23T09:15:45+00:00

It's alright man. Jealousy is to be earned. It means you got your shit going.

MoonimAhsan · 2021-04-23T09:35:56+00:00

Competency my friend. Not everyone welcomes that.

theFlaco1998 · 2021-04-23T12:59:32+00:00

How tall are you?

sasakuowo · 2021-04-23T17:44:40+00:00

low value men yeah but as you improve you can surround yourself with higher value men

verac757 · 2021-04-29T05:54:01+00:00

Once I started lifting heavier and practicing bjj I got way more respect and positive attention from other dudes. People like seeing strong individuals as their friends I guess. It's hard to say why people act the way you describe. It may be a vibe you are giving off. If one random dude hates you, whatever he prob has a complex or little many syndrome or some shit. If everywhere you go people hate you, you prob have a complex or little man syndrome or some shit

re0st92mg · 2021-04-23T13:04:13+00:00

men innately dislike me

LOL. This is clearly projection.

How did you figure this out, guys come up to you and tell you that they "innately hate you?"

No? If not, how did you determine that they hate you and how did you determine that it was innate.

Sounds like you need to improve your mindset.

Alirei · 2021-04-23T09:26:02+00:00

Would you mind being more specific with what you mean by guys giving you hate? Do you specifically mean your circle of friends or do just random strangers?

If it's your friends that are giving you grief, then reevaluate your friendship. If it's strangers that know nothing of you, then more than likely you are the cause of the problem.

Understand that if you choose to elevate yourself above your peers by consistent effort, then you will inevitably lose the people you associated with when you were lesser. Also understand that whether consciously or unconsciously your attitude and demeanor may change as the rest of you changes and the persona you develop as a result may be more abrasive than you need to be.

Reality never fails to ensue, the weak and the timid will always be jealous of the possibilities you are striving to achieve.

Title	The more I improve the more hate from men
Author	mostlikelyathr0waway
Upvotes	150
Comments	104
Date	April 22, 2021 6:35 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/mwbgz6/the_more_i_improve_the_more_hate_from_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/the-more-i-improve-the-more-hate-from-men.761786 https://theredarchive.com/post/761786