Theoretical: Why is (modern) Feminism so self-contradicting?

TLDR: Random thought. 3rd/4th wave Feminists swear that they do not hate men but their actions and their other writings say otherwise. Could it be the size of their movement? Or is it the extremely vocal extremist wing?

I'm going to say something rather blasphemic for this subreddit and say that the 1st and 2nd waves of Feminism are actually movements to be admired. I'm not saying this to whiteknight women, I genuinely believe that women, as human beings, are entitled to the same political rights as men. One might argue that women, as emotional beings, are capable of making educated decisions, but for that, I point to intelligent women such as Ayn Rand and Margaret Thatcher.

The Feminism of today, however, is a movement that I have, until recently, supported with great reluctance.

Women have the vote, they have reproductive rights, but what else is there to fight for in the West?

According to people like Andrea Dworkin and Jessica Valenti, cat-calling and sexual harassment.

That, too, is all well and fair, except for the fact that their definitions of such have a broad range. Does compliment a women out of genuine intention make it sexual harassment? Does simply saying 'hi' violate the woman in question?

The curious thing is that many apologists for feminism say that they do not hate men, and that they are fighting for all sexes. Yet, they talk about a 'patriarchy' and 'privilege' and while that's all well and fair, some feminists put down men and disparage them, saying that their actions and their existence is part of that 'patriarchy' and 'privilege'

There's also the notion that all men are rapists. Feminists, at least the not-so-cuckoo ones also disagree with that. But there is talk about a 'rape culture.' There are women holding signs that simply looking at a woman is rape. Talking to a girl is rape. Just simply having a desire for something deeper with a woman is rape. And I get the feeling that very few of them are referring to lesbian, woman-on-woman interactions.

And, of course, sexism, the nemesis of the movement. But more often I see feminist articles relying on the very same sexism they claim to fight (take for example, the anti-nice guy rhetoric. I think the 'friend zone' also happens to girls too. Or the suggestion that women are always being victimised and how male rape victims can 'learn the experience')

Why do you guys think Feminism is so self-contradictory? I know that many major ideologies are prone to this in a limited extent, because they're big and diverse. Perhaps the people who say 'we don't hate men' are different from the people who say 'smash the patriarchy.' Maybe the people who say 'all men are not rapists' are not shouting 'there is a rape culture' at the same time.

Maybe there is a radical wing that has hijacked the ideology? I know for a fact that a lot of Muslims, for example, are very frustrated with groups like Al Qaeda and ISIL not only because they misrepresent their views, but they also paint a very bad picture of the religion in general, making it harder for them to live in Western society.

Sorry for the long post, but I'd like your thoughts.

EDIT: Added a bit about how Feminism contradicts itself with sexism