I originally met this girl years ago in a coop context. She didn't live at the coop but spent a lot of time there. She generally came for dinner and sat in the dining room gossiping loudly about other people. Over the past few years, she has made a variety of accusations with details that either could be confirmed or were confirmed to be false. Often the accusations did not involve her in any way. Here are some examples:

  • One of the coop members supposedly physically assaulted someone. She successfully had him banned from the community. The accusation was later proven to be false.

  • One of the coop members supposedly raped women years prior. No actual victims were able to be found, and none of her details were able to be confirmed. She successfully had him banned as well.

  • She told another woman after a breakup to attempt to get a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend did not appear to have done anything violent or threatening. The other woman reasonably declined to do so. However, the girl encouraging her to get the restraining order claimed the ex was crazy/dangerous and had him banned from the community as well.

I appear to have become her most recent target. She began by claiming I was suicidal and needed to be found and helped. I later discovered she had sent my name and photo to a semi-public email list. When I confronted her about this and told her to leave me alone, she began claiming that I am a dangerous stalker, that I abused prior partners (none of which have confirmed her story), and that I molest women. She went so far as to contact someone with whom I had set up a first date, and convinced them to cancel.

I am trying to avoid her like the plague, but pattern of behavior has been negatively impacting my ability to spend time with friends and to date. It has also impacted many of my friends. Some of my friends whom she had banned from the community began experiencing symptoms of depression afterward. Given that she works at a nonprofit that helps women obtain restraining orders against supposed abusers, her behavior seems likely to have a broader negative social impact also.

My close friends and I avoid her as much as possible, but it often seems like she initiates contact with us or with our friends and acquaintances. I am hoping someone here will have advice on how to best handle this situation so that my friends and I won't have to worry about her behavior continuing to negatively impact us.

Thank you very much for your advice! It is greatly appreciated.