Some of you read the first part of my miniseries the other day about St. Paddy's Slut.
I'll keep this brief.
This girl has followed my lead on everything for 5 months. I established we would be nonmonagamous early on. I outvalue her and she knows it.
But old habits die hard, and I now find myself over invested because I spent too much time with her and let feelings develop for a girl I never intended to promote past FwB/plate/poly.
So do I demote or ditch? The big rub is she has been telling me she loves me, that she's content, and not seeing anyone else. I invested behind those statements. This contradicted my intended course of action.. the failure of leadership is mine.
I don't see her as doing anything "wrong" necessarily, other than feeding my desire for romance and then exercising her agreed upon nonmonogamous freedoms.
She told me about this trip weeks in advance and also that it was just her and a friend, and her friend wasn't bringing any guys. She was honest.. I just don't like the truth.
Maybe she shouldn't have said she loved me, but neither should I have.
A hard next is the only guaranteed fix.
But if I can hold my shit together, get my head around this, and pick up some new plates.. she could still be an excellent little slut.
What do? I could talk to her and say I want space. I could mention or not mention why.
I could not talk to her but act like everything is fine (it isnt, but that's on me). Isn't it my responsibility to fix my own headspace?
Or not talk to her, back off anyways, and see what happens.
Or just hard next and waste a likeable female, chalking it up to a learning experience (over investing / catching feels for a plate).
What would Chad do?