Maybe it's because I'm seriously going through some stuff, but I've been thinking a little more about whether or not I'm "a good friend". I mean... I'm always up for hanging out with friends, and I definitely make an effort to be there for friends when they're clearly going through some stuff.

But, well, I guess I've been thinking about how to be outside of extreme circumstances?

I had kind of a subtle realization today that with one of my friends, we kind of constantly dog at each other over anything. If one of us got a promotion at work, there's like a 50% chance the other one would respond like "you mean they still haven't fired you?!".

And jokes are great, and they do serve a purpose (it's the modern day equivalent of wrestling with a buddy, to make sure he's fit to hunt with you).

But I guess I'm thinking now, maybe I should be making a more conscious effort to build up my friends?

Instead of ragging on him, be prepared to say something more like "Dude that's fucking awesome, you're kicking ass at work".

Now, another facet is... getting into a whole 'nother field.

There's one friend of mine -- probably the best dude I know, he's borderline naive and just a genuinely sweet guy -- is married to... well, he's married to a big ol' bitch.

When they first got married, they'd had a pretty serious fight, and he'd talked about they might split up. I didn't push it either way, just said "whatever you do man, I'm with you whatever you need", the only thing I did was encourage him to speak with a lawyer, just in case.

It's easy to say that's all I should do, that encouraging him to leave her would've been overstepping my boundaries. But then, maybe that's what makes a good friend? Someone who's willing to risk the friendship, to say what he really needed to hear?

I dunno. I'm still not quite where I want to be in life, but I guess I'm thinking more about the kind of presence I am in other peoples' lives. Do I make their lives better? Or am I just fun to joke around with now and then? What is the "ideal dynamic" between friends?