My dog had had a bad heart for a while but she’s been on pills and relatively stable. About a week ago she almost passed. But she pulled through and we got her a new pill. The few days afterward were just fine!!!!!

Then my brother invited me to go on vacation. I decided to do it but in the back of my head I had a concern about my dog. Whenever I’m not there my family has had a hard time giving her pills to her.

But I know she also usually would eventually take them from them she just would need a little more persistence.

So pretty much I had faith that they would give her pills to her and that they understood that she NEEDED them. But all the sudden Friday actually. (I left Wednesday) I get a call that she wasn’t doing all that good similar to how she was the week before. I was concerned but my family stated she didn’t take her pills and I gave advice on how to get her to take it.

I was a bit concerned but thought I would be warned earlier but then all the sudden yesterday I get called and told she hasn’t taken her pills in like 2 days!!!!! She needs them every 12 hours so they missed 4 doses. Then I got really upset and facetimed my family. Talked for a bit and they said she wouldn’t take them. So I told them to be more aggressive and cover her nose. LO AND BEHOLD IN 5 MINUTES ON FACETIME SHE TOOK ALL HER PILLS

Regardless she wasn’t doing good so I went home early to see her. Luckily when I got back she was still alive but she was very lethargic and weak. This is how she gets WHEN SHE DOESNT TAKE HER PILLS.

So it’s hard to tell if she was like that cause it was actually her time or if my family was just fucking stupid. No way to fucking know either which makes it worse.

Anyways it was too late at this point and it was time for her to go... I think, we brought her into the vet and man it was heart wrenching but we ended up putting her down. BUT IN THE BACK OF MY DUCKING HEAD ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT IS IF I STAYED FUCKING HOME OR IF MY FAMILY GAVE HER PILLS TO HERE SHED BE HERE RIGHT NOW.

If it was just her fucking time then I would accept it. But I really ducking don’t think it was. I think the dose was just too fucking late and her life was signed off after she missed to many.......

FUCK MAN I’m torn. Part of me is blaming myself for even going, all she did was spend her time waiting for me to get fucking back and I didn’t get back until the last fucking minute.

I’m also pissed that my family couldn’t do a simple damn task. I KNOW THEY LOVED HER AND CARED FOR HER but fuck. They made her comfortable and made her a good bed and gave her lots of food and water well I was gone. But they couldn’t force the dog to take some damn pills. Like god damnit I explained u gotta give it by hand. They said they tried and wouldn’t take it so they just put it in on a fucking plate and HOPED SHE ATE IT. Like WTF god damnit.

I know she wouldn’t take it easy from the mn but they obviously didn’t fucking try hard enough. If On the fucking day she passed(yesterday) they were able to give the pills to her after I yelled at them on FACETIME to be more aggressive and block her nose. Like I had to give them instructions OMFG

TLDR idk what to fucking think man I’m just so sad and upset. I can’t accept it cause I feel I could’ve made a difference and I can’t help feel terrible that I wasn’t there when she needed me most because I wasn’t fucking told how bad it was until the last day. Do I or give my family? How should I think about this ?