~ archived since 2018 ~

Vulnerability

October 20, 2016
2 upvotes

Since my oneitis and finding TRP a year ago, I'm insanely careful with showing any sort of vulnerability to a woman.

I'm not at the stage of dating/meeting women yet so I mean any woman I encounter at work or socially. I can only respond from a place of apathy or amused mastery if that makes sense. It feels like I'm protecting myself before I allow any communication to take place so I'm never in a 'vulnerable' situation. It feels 'overly protected' and not real.

When I do talk to girls in my social circle in a flirty context, it's either from a place of AM otherwise I mentally beat myself up if I ever slip up and say something slightly genuine or real that might have implications.

How normal is this, if you can grasp what I'm trying to put across; I'm not sure if I grasp it myself. I'm not sure if I'm just too scared to try and talk to a woman in a genuine sense after being scared off of the idea.

I've been on one date since TRP and I generally was a boring fuck because I didn't have anything to say. The 2 pre TRP dates I had I opened up a bit (in a care free lighthearted way) where I talked about my upbringing and other personal shit and it created a connection with the girl. I used to be very into self depreciating humour back then and it helped when used correctly and sparingly but I've mostly killed it since TRP instead having a faux confident and cocky demeanour.

Something is off and I can't figure out what it is. Is it the lack of vulnerability. Are we supposed to completely kill any trace of it? I personally never used to be able to connect with someone until they exposed a vulnerable part of themselves.

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Post Information
Title Vulnerability
Author empatheticapathetic
Upvotes 2
Comments 4
Date October 20, 2016 2:40 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/vulnerability.76325
https://theredarchive.com/post/76325
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/58eiwg/vulnerability/
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