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Ask BaM

February 13, 2014

You got questions? We got answers. You go first.

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Post Information
Title Ask BaM
Author GaiusScaevolus
Upvotes 12
Comments 22
Date February 13, 2014 8:36 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit /r/becomeaman
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/becomeaman/ask-bam.137392
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/becomeaman/comments/1xu02x/ask_bam/

[–]parousiaIII 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link

How do I know if I'm picking the right goal to chase? I all of a sudden want to be a boxer(I dont know shit about it) so I can train hard and punch people with a loving audience. How do I know if this is a better choice than getting a conventional minimum wage 9-5?

[–]GaiusScaevolus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's no "right" or "red pill" path. There's only what you want to do and whether you have the means to live your life and do it.

In your case, I would get something that pays the bills, but continue training. There's no reason you can't become a pro boxer in the other 128 hrs a week you have. And once your getting paid as a boxer, you can drop the 9-5.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The short answer is, there's not just one "right" thing for you to do with your life. There are many. You're doing the right thing with your life if you can motivate yourself to work your ass off at it. It doesn't matter how much you know now, as long as you're willing to outwork everyone else.

[–]Pravux 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your last sentence can change billions of lives my friend.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

What's the fastest way to gain confidence? What's the best?

[–]GaiusScaevolus[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fastest? Act like you're awesome. Best? Be awesome.

Whatever you're most self-conscious about, fix it.

[–]HMNbean 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Go to the gym and get stronger/bigger

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

why down vote weight lifting?


It has a measurable psychological/chemical effect on your brain, hormones and nervous system.

blue pill fags

[–]mister_zd 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think thats because it is the default answer to any manosphere question: "hit the gym", "lift more!" and so on...

Truth is while indeed exercise has good effects on confidence; it is not the only means to an end.

Proper diet is one, meditation is another, the pursuit of success in career or hobbies is another, being around supportive male friends can help also (as long as they dont hamster, or aren't "beta").

The truth is when I see advice such as "lift more! no excuses everyone can do it!" I cringe because it is simply not true; sure everyone can do some exercise but some have health constraints that reduce the amount of lifting they can do. Need to keep it real, alot of people will never be Mr Universe.

[–]thehigheststatusmale 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Meditation. Isolation tank.

[–]Pravux 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Start loving yourself. Once you realize you're awesome practice and talk to people. If it turns awkward learn from it. Make mistakes, learn from them, repeat.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]GaiusScaevolus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go to the 'new' tab, and scroll to the end. If you can't find the first few, try Puerarchy.com

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How do I get a better bond with my dad? Me and him have a good bond, I just want a better one.

[–]GaiusScaevolus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had a long hard road to being direct with my dad. I don"t know your specifics but generally, just talk to him about sh*t. Especially concerning your ma... You'd be surprised how RP older men are by default...

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]GaiusScaevolus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not a fan of using drugs which require a prescription without one. Addy in particular has resulted in some bad weeks for some good friends. If you must, I understand that Modafinil is better for what you seem to want it for.

Obviously, talk to a doctor (which I am not) and don't be retarded when it comes to medication.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go ahead and ask /r/drugs, they'll surely help you out.

[–]thehigheststatusmale 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GaiusScaevolus[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

/u/Eurydemus asks;

Men, I've lost my confidence. I used to have the easiest time approaching people and now it's gone. (You might get an idea of why from my recent submissions.) Tonight, there was a beautiful girl flirting with me, she's considered to be easy, and I didn't even have the courage to make out with her tonight. Instead she went home with some dude that she told people she didn't like. I had it setup tonight at the bar. Arm around her, wingmen everywhere. I kissed her on the cheek and was about to go in for the kill before she told me that she wanted to talk to me before she left. I stupidly agreed and forgot what I was doing. Didn't see her for the rest of the night. Did I blow it? Did I let my naivety get in the way of my game? Before tonight i've been quite hesitant to get my game on. Tonight, I tried and failed. Kinda self conscious and can't stop thinking that i'm not confident enough. Any advice is appreciated.

[–]GaiusScaevolus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

she went home with some dude that she told people she didn't like.

Don't let this affect you. It's a form of hamstering, and it's typical.

You blew this instance. Mistakes happen. If you see this one again, make your move. If you don't take it as a learning point and move on.

The men I know who are best with women have messed up/been rejected over 1,000 times. Don't get discouraged by 1 mistake.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

How do I respond the question "tell me about yourself" or "tell me about your life" and still keep an air of mystery about myself?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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