No amount of PUA, Red Pill, or Alpha articles will help you until you fix this one core issue.
You have a fear of abandonment.
This is the one thing holding you back in every aspect of your life.
-You are way too agreeable -You avoid confrontation (leads to you going ape-shit at the smallest infraction) -You get shit on by your friends constantly; You are at the bottom of your social hierarchy -You get crippling anxiety in social settings (leads to withdrawl) -You immerse yourself in your career but never advance like you should -You earn far less money than you should -You are afraid you will be "found out"; You are a fraud and don't know shit -You are stuck in a job that is going nowhere -You fall into a routine and are afraid to try new things -You don't approach women you are attracted to -You may have even convinced yourself that you have Asperger's -You put other people's needs before your own
How your fear of abandonment developed:
At a young age, your emotional needs were not met at some point. This ingrained a belief that you were somehow unworthy or defective. More importantly, you developed an irrational belief that this was your fault. You further developed this line of thinking into:
-If I am a pain in the ass, then they will abandon me. -If I have needs, they will abandon me. -If I ask for anything, they will abandon me. -If I am liked by everyone they will NOT abandon me.
How to put yourself on the path to recovery:
Think back to your childhood. Focus on the times you remember being upset. Focus on the times you remember being in pain.
Here's an example:
You were upset because you wanted to hang out with your father but he wasn't around because he was always working.
Now, relive these experiences from the perspective of an adult.
New perspective on the example above:
Of course my father was working all of the time! He wanted me to have a better life. I want the same thing for my kids! It wasn't my fault and I am certainly not defective!
As you start to put an adult perspective on all of these painful childhood experiences, you start to realize how IRRATIONAL your fears of abandonment are.
NO ONE IS GOING TO ABANDON YOU!!
Start repeating this any time you experience rejection or are feeling depressed. You will quickly start to laugh at your old self and how irrational you used to be.
You will start to realize how much you have been self-sabotaging yourself out of fear of abandonment. You were preventing yourself from being successful out of fear that people would figure you out as a fraud (and abandon you). Complete bullshit!! This is what will break you free.
As a result, you will: -Finally feel like your true self -No longer be afraid to ask for a promotion or go on job interviews -No longer be afraid to approach women (you'll still get anxious, but won't give a shit if it turns out bad) -Assert yourself at work -Stand up for yourself -Become more sociable and be open to new experiences -Start your own business without making up bullshit excuses about how it won't work
Most importantly, you will start getting your own needs met. This is the key to truly being a man.
This post was heavily inspired by Dr. Glover's "No More Mr. Nice Guy" -- READ IT! Even if you are in denial that you are a nice guy, READ IT! It is a true game changer.
After that read these two books:
"Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" along with the companion book "Feel the Fear And Beyond" by Dr. Susan Jeffers -NOTE: This book is excellent for getting you to work through your fears. It will help you to grow in leaps and bounds.
"When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" by Manuel J. Smith -NOTE: The first few chapters are a little heavy on the shrink shit. But once you get into the sections on Fogging, Negative Assertion, and Negative Inquiry, the book really starts to pick up. You'll have fun applying these techniques to people trying to manipulate you on a daily basis.