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Finally lost my virginity... Or did I? FUCKlNG ED, what happened?

December 22, 2021

Finally, 23 years old, got with this cute 20yo girl for Netflix and chill

I'm on a 47 days NoFap streak because I thought it'd improve any potential problems (like this)

Second time dating her, found her attractive, I escalated, and she did as well, touched her and kissed her as I read here, and it worked, removed her clothes

Tried to go down on her but she didn't let me, after that she told me she was a virgin (I didn't tell her I was too)

But I noticed I wasn't getting hard, so I kissed her everywhere, rubbed her possy, fingered her, still nothing

She herself grabbed my soft dick and started playing with it, nothing

We stopped for a bit, I was like "wtf man, is this PIED?"

Then tried again and it got semi-hard, condom on, i though "I'm gonna penetrate and hope it gets harder in there" but daaaamn couldn't even insert it, was she too tight? Or is it normal? I couldn't know, she's the first I'm with.

This morning I woke up and had a hard morning wood just as always

My main theory is, Performance anxiety, maybe because it was my first time? I was too focused on kissing and touching the right places?

Could it be Porn Induced ED because of my years of addiction? This is what r/NoFap would tell me, and then to go for 4-6 month streak to "rewire", but damn that would be hell for me. I used porn a lot since like 10yo, but was never into nothing extreme, and never really used a tight grip, hell, I know her pussy was going to be way tighter

Or.. could it be that we ate a liiitlee bit of brownie with weed?

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Post Information
Title Finally lost my virginity... Or did I? FUCKlNG ED, what happened?
Author WonderfulPipe
Upvotes 3
Comments 12
Date December 22, 2021 1:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/newTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/newTRP/finally-lost-my-virginity-or-did-i-fucklng-ed-what.1095309
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/newTRP/comments/rm5fsr/finally_lost_my_virginity_or_did_i_fucklng_ed/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]throwaway1564656 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Performance anxiety. Seems like everyone has it nowadays, with all the porn and jerking off. I had it, my younger cousin also confessed to me that he had it, millions of people online also say so. You just have to continue having sex until you feel comfortable doing it, thats it. NoFap and NoPorn wont do anything at this point, btw. You cant cancel a lifetime of misery. Just continue seeing her and having sex until you get used to it, it will be alright i promise.

[–]WonderfulPipe[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah it sounds right, I was not only virgin but i was also kissless until like a month ago, so maybe I'm just not used yet to being intimate with another person, or being naked with them lol

Maybe it's a weird question to ask a stranger but whatever, if you were me would you just jerk off now? I kind of have blue balls now and I think continue to NoFap may increase anxiety now haha, or maybe it's an excuse, I will continue seeing her and a couple of girls I'm dating tho

[–]throwaway1564656 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

do it, doesnt affect your performance in any way. Dont do the death grip and dont jerk off everyday, thats it

[–]themostgianthorse 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

“We stopped for a bit, I was like “wtf man is this PIED?”

This thought was the problem.

In all likelihood, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and your experience was caused by anxiety which is totally normal.

A good way to handle this going forward is to jump back in the saddle as quickly as possible. If she brings it up, don’t apologise or say anything self deprecating. It’s not a big deal. You can laugh about it.

A bad way to handle it would be to let it bother you, apologise and/or avoid interactions in the future.

Personally, I think weed is a buffer as discussed in TRM and you should do this sober. If you are someone who experiences paranoia or anxiety after smoking, it will be a detriment to you in a new situation that you have built up in your mind.

Download the headspace app to practice mindfulness.

[–]WonderfulPipe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you're right, since I noticed I couldn't get hard I started focusing only on that

I think I handled it decently since even tho I think at one point I looked disappointed and focused on that, i continued making out with her and chatting as usual.

The weed brownie wasn't a buffer in this case, i didn't actually planned taking any, I told her I had around in case she wanted and she suggested eating a bit, and it was almost insignificant, but it did made me feel sleepy so that's why I had suspicions on it too

Thanks for the suggestion, I used to meditate a lot but dropped it, will pick it up again

[–]Causa_pe 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

definitely performance anxiety. most guys have dealt with this. it goes away with time and practice, don't worry! if you are anxious about it then i would suggest telling your sexual partners honestly that you have PE and assure them its nornal and natural and passes.

[–]throwaway69764 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link


Don't ever visit nofap again. I'm strictly against porn and also (excessive) masturbation, but those are a bunch of crazy cultists who think that touching your penis once will forever give you erectile dysfunction. Spoiler alert, even though it's degenerate, like 90% of guys under 30 are porn addicts and they can fuck just fine.

You had performance anxiety. As everyone else while losing their virginity. Some stay hard, some don't. Limp dick is an incredibly common problem for first-timers, as is not being able to coom despite being hard.

Don't sweat it, just try again. If you're really struggling with anxiety now (which you probably are considering nofap bruised your brain), just get some cialis and that shit will keep you hard whether you want it or not. Once you break the negative feedback loop (going soft leads to more anxiety leads to going soft more frequently leads to more anxiety...), you won't have problems anymore.

[–]WonderfulPipe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah man I've practiced nofap before because I'm also against excessive masturbation and porn, but always doubtful about their community, but this time it's just nuts, their only answer to this is that it's definitely PIED and that you need a longer streak, 4-6 months up to a year sometimes, that's just CRAZY

Yeah performance anxiety sounds about right, I've had waited for years to be with a girl and when the moment came, even tho I don't think I wasn't feeling "nervous" i definitely wasn't flowing, I wasn't in the moment, maybe i was too much in my head

I'll look about Cialis but i hope to get over this without pills, thanks man

[–]polarizingpotato -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I was gonna say death grip from jerking off too much, but.. 47 days nofap and still ED? 🤔

[–]WonderfulPipe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah man and I didn't even used hard grip when jerking off, and even the porn I watch it's kinda light (sometimes not even porn), so maybe it isn't fap related

[–]lmann81733 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Start jerking it once a week. After 7ish days not jerking it actually screws with how your dick works. No porn, learn to use your imagination to get hard.

Also anxiety could be a culprit too.

[–]WonderfulPipe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, maybe 47 days wasn't a good idea haha, i don't think my libido was on healthy levels

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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