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GF intentionally replies late to messages

datingadviceplox
January 4, 2022
2 upvotes
/r/newTRP

My girlfriend will intentionally late reply. I know the obvious answer would be "it's because she isn't interested" or whatever. I know that it definitely isn't this. Equally, it's not that she is "busy", so don't suggest this is the reason. I know it isn't, as I explain below:

This is going to sound petty, so to test whether it's intentional, I have on a few occasions sent her an image saying something like "have you seen this? Crazy!", just to grab her attention. She'll really quickly pop up as "online" on WhatsApp, but she turns off "read-receipts", then reads my message and then goes offline. Sometimes she'll forget to turn back on "read-receipts" and then reply, so when I read her message it still shows mine wasn't read. It's getting really pathetic. It's starting to annoy me. I feel disrespected.

I refuse to play along the games, so when she messages I'll typically respond within 1-2 minutes if I'm not busy. Despite me replying within a couple minutes, she'll still reply late.

What can I do to solve this issue? Please, do not try suggest things like "she's busy". Please offer advice based on the assumption that she is in fact intentionally replying late, and reading my messages, but then not replying for another hour. I know you may think I am jumping to conclusion, but I know it's the case, so please don't doubt my judgement. I just want advice on what to do given what I strongly believe is the case.

I am trying to logically understand why a girl who loves me, and is otherwise a good girlfriend, would deliberately delay her replies? I think the only possible reason could be that she doesn't want to come off too "keen", "eager", or like she hasn't got anything going on in her life. But this honestly just makes me actively dislike messaging her, knowing she does read my messages, but chooses to reply late.

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Post Information
Title GF intentionally replies late to messages
Author datingadviceplox
Upvotes 2
Comments 21
Date January 4, 2022 5:40 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/newTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/newTRP/gf-intentionally-replies-late-to-messages.1095321
https://theredarchive.com/post/1095321
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/newTRP/comments/rw00pk/gf_intentionally_replies_late_to_messages/
Comments

[–]Give_Praise_Unto_Me 7 points8 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Apply the 2/3 rule. You're not valuing your own time and attention. Stop replying immediately. If you text her at 1, and she responds at 3, dont text back at 3:05. Wait until 6, 7, hell maybe even the next day. Make her sweat it out a bit. Let the hamster spin in your favor.

[–][deleted]  (12 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Give_Praise_Unto_Me 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I get that, but why even play these stupid fucking games?

Because women arent logical. You can not listen to my advice like the other guy said, but she'll just continue to get worse.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Give_Praise_Unto_Me 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

So please explain to me how not replying is going to help the situation?

Because it shows you value your time and attention. The other guy is telling you to be explicit with her by stating boundaries, when has talking ever accomplished anything with a woman? You need to demonstrate implicitly. This is how girls operate.

[–]datingadviceplox 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Alright, got it.

Lol, she’s going to fucking hate me now I stop replying accordingly. Next she’ll be in my ear “why are you replying so late?” 😂.

[–]beardestbird 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That’s exactly what you want. You want her on eggshells rather than you. You want her chasing your time.

[–]datingadviceplox 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, you’re right.

[–]Give_Praise_Unto_Me 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly.

[–]Rude-Block -4 points-3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Don't listen to his advice. Don't stoop to her level in delaying your texts. I'm just like you, I reply almost as soon as I see it or like within 10-15 mins. I very much dislike the intentional delayed texts that happen constantly although every once in a while is okay and I do it myself once in a while.

The main point is you literally have to tell her that you don't like it and it bothers you and you'd like her to try not to do it. It's up to her then to try to change or not. Some people gunna comment that this is falling into her game or not being manly or whatever. It's actually the opposite. You're setting a boundary with what you will and will not accept. If she doesn't change any behavior you know how much she values you and can choose how to act after that.

Keep in mind that if you do message too often perhaps it's too much for her and she wants to extend the conversation (although the way she is doing it actually kills the conversation). In that sense texting at her speed might be appropriate sometimes. But not saying anything and emulating her behaviour as some suggest with a stupid 2/3 rule is a terrible idea and will make you seem butthurt. She will be able to tell easily just like you can tell when she does it.

[–]beardestbird 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah you gave shit advice. Talking to her will most likely make her double down if she sees it’s bothering him. That will not raise her attraction. Best response as a man is to change the routine

[–]datingadviceplox 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yep I agree. Playing into games just makes you as bad as them. It doesn't "raise attraction" like people try to suggest. It just makes me dislike the person more, because they aren't valuing my time and attention.

I hear your suggestion, but again, I really don't want to call her out on something like this. If I set that boundary, what if she is genuinely busy? Then she's going to be constantly worrying about replying late to me, which doesn't sound healthy for a relationship.

We also don't message too often. Sometimes we can go a couple of days without messaging, and she's usually always 9 times out of 10 the one to message me first.

The solution for now is to just limit my messages back to her, and keep our communication either in person or FaceTime.

[–]beardestbird 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He gave you awful advice dude. Telling her to text back faster is telling her you want her attention more and it puts you at a position of being weak. No one is saying play games but appear more busy in your daily life (actually find some important shit to do) and let it go. That’s not playing games

[–]datingadviceplox 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Again, yeah you’re right.

I would never have called her out. I knew that was pretty beta.

I’ll mirror her and reply later every time she takes the piss. It’s dumb, but I feel disrespected by her doing it.

I know her hamster will start spinning now I’m replying later and later, lol.

[–]beardestbird 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Ask yourself this. If she was dating some famous celeb would she be waiting hours to respond? Probably not. At the worst if she was super busy she’d sneak a way to message back on her phone. She clearly always has her phone.

Start responding later. This situation is in response to you responding super fast. If it isn’t about something important (emergency) then wait awhile. It’ll get her wondering about what you’re doing.

You’re also gonna have to accept that she may not be as interested in you currently as you think. If a girl REALLY likes a guy she’s replying fast.

This is the red pill. Accept some women are like this.

[–]datingadviceplox 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks. I’ll take it on board.

Currently replying late as fuck to her messages, lol. Spin hamster spin.

About her not liking me maybe as much as I think, I honestly am confident she likes me. In fact, she tells me she loves me quite frequently. I’ve never once said it back. She is says she misses me fairly frequently, in which I’ve never said it back.

[–]beardestbird 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah okay the other context makes sense if she’s telling you this. But just be aware women can lie. You want her head over heels do NOT get complacent

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]datingadviceplox 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What do you mean? We've been together for over a year. Other than this, she's a good quality girl for the most part. I don't want to play the dumb game of replying twice as long, it's just ridiculous and doesn't do a relationship any good.

Or am I really missing something here?

[–]RisingTigre 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I personally wouldn’t give a fuck and just focus on myself or fuck other women.

Maybe she knows that you need her more than she needs you. Get her out of your head.

[–]AdmiralFiz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you may be overthinking things. Yea it is weird that she waits to reply when you're actively dating. That being said, I'm sure it's some insecurity of hers and most likely isn't malicious, she probably just likes you a lot and doesn't want to be known as always being on her phone.

I personally wouldn't raise alarm at this specifically, if she was doing other questionable things that made you question her fidelity that's another story

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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