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How to not get sad about women who can't be helped?

December 13, 2021
3 upvotes

My paradox is I've mostly been with average 5-6s.

I lose desire to continue with them especially when I get to know more about their lifestyle and attitude that I find to dislike. Maybe I'm simply just being nitpicky.

But an ex, for example, would stop working on herself. She'd rather devote & be with me all the time. I'm irritated because it's clingy. And though it felt good getting treated like this, I succumbed to it a little bit. We did try going to the gym but then she'd get jealous if I even mistakenly look at another woman working out.

One reason why I feel bad calling it off is that I know some dude would end up just manipulating her, as was the case of her current ex.

I'm well aware that I have no incentive to be a life enhancer or be a philanthropist. I've got a lot on my plate.

I also think that if I call it off with a lady who has a lot going on for her, who is higher value, I can rest better because she can sustain herself and heck even get anyone she wants.

Is there a good book or a template for calling it off on good or better terms? I try to make their life better but most just turn sour. As most cases for low v women (in my experience) who think just because I'm just only average, they can sort of gaslight me by being super nice

So if I even just start to wonder if they're okay, why does it make me feel like shit?

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Post Information
Title How to not get sad about women who can't be helped?
Author sevendrummer35
Upvotes 3
Comments 10
Date December 13, 2021 2:16 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/newTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/newTRP/how-to-not-get-sad-about-women-who-cant-be-helped.1095300
https://theredarchive.com/post/1095300
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/newTRP/comments/rf4kxb/how_to_not_get_sad_about_women_who_cant_be_helped/
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Comments

[–]themostgianthorse 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are aware you’re not a philanthropist but you still are too empathetic. I think you understand this on an intellectual level but not in practice.

For reading, the two books that will help you most are NMMNG (Glover specifically refers to nice guys as “bad enders”) and WISNIFG.

[–]Give_Praise_Unto_Me 4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

This is TRP, we dont play Captain-Save-A-Hoe. Never hesitate returning her to the streets.

[–]entrep4 5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

"look bro just be a bit more like a psychopath"

That's not helpful advice. He's asking how he can deal with feeling bad about dumping women he's no longer interested in.

Here's some real advice for you OP. Be more picky. Break up sooner before they get too attached to you. By staying with them when you don't intend to be with them forever, you're wasting their time. They might pass up on a genuine guy who would be a good boyfriend and eventually husband, for you, a guy who intends to break up with them at some point. It's kinder to break up sooner and not stay with someone you see as low value.

[–]IntelligenceLtd 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

both of these are the right advice RP is clear we dont play captain save a hoe I wouldnt knock someone for staying with someone who has a genuine commitment to self improvement but even when its possible its a long a bumpy road. Id say leave her right now but write a letter explaining why you did it honestly and clearly as possible but from a place of compassion then be done and never look back unless they fancy being plated and youre not going to get all up in your feelings.

[–]sevendrummer35[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Id say leave her right now but write a letter explaining why you did it honestly and clearly as possible but from a place of compassion then be done and never look back unless they fancy being plated and youre not going to get all up in your feelings.

I had an ex who helped me out when I was in deep shit. Both financially and also with her time and service. It was a little odd because she was more of the breadwinner and traditionally, a man should be the leader. How do you not feel like shit when she clearly dedicated a lot of her time, effort and even money to you? I can pay her back and I had but it still felt like a slight neg compared to just leaving them alone completely

[–]IntelligenceLtd 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not odd at all that she was the breadwinner lol if you're living in the western world anyway what's odd that she wasn't completely self centered

[–]sevendrummer35[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's kinder to break up sooner and not stay with someone you see as low value.

Part of the reason I want to also share here is that my experiences with low v women, I saw a lot of them dedicating time, effort and even money. Which makes me feel even worse. For example, I had an ex who helped me out when I was in deep shit. Both financially and also with her time and service. It was a little odd because she was more of the breadwinner and traditionally, a man should be the leader. I did the right choice of breaking up but I still sometimes think if she's okay

[–]sevendrummer35[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

They might pass up on a genuine guy who would be a good boyfriend and eventually husband, for you, a guy who intends to break up with them at some point.

But also, is it an asshole move? A part of me doubt or maybe even do not want them to find someone good because then they'd just say they're better than their previous "ex" and that's just a hurt to my ego. Which sort of makes this like a snake eating its tail sort of thing. Especially when they were low value but they disguised it as giving you as much service and gifts as they can that it becomes super confusing

[–]entrep4 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A part of me doubt or maybe even do not want them to find someone good because then they'd just say they're better than their previous "ex" and that's just a hurt to my ego.

That's pathetic and you have issues you need to work on.

[–]St31nway 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They are responsible for themselves just as you are yourself. Enjoy the times you have with them. They will be alright.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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