I did RP on hard mode for 4 years, and I failed.

LTR is RP on hard mode.

I learned a lot over the 4 years. I made plenty of mistakes, and grew a lot.

Before I started the LTR, I was spinning numerous plates with ease, which cumulated in a temporary STD. I realized the drawbacks of fucking 4-5 new girls a month, and just as I began to come back to earth I met a baller of a woman that stole my attention from all the others. No, not a unicorn, those don’t exist - but a solid Trad woman with a good head on her shoulders, fantastic morality, and commendable goals.

Over the years we’ve gone on and off a few times, always because I “don’t show her I appreciate her enough,”

“Don’t compliment her enough”

or I “would be fine if she left”

Etc.

Failed comfort tests? Maybe. I don’t lack charisma at all, but I may have gotten wrapped up in the anti-simp mindset to the point of coldness.

We’ve come apart again, for the same reasons on her end - and I’m mostly indifferent again. I do have feelings for her, and I know she’ll be back after her tantrum again.

But, I feel that I’ve failed somewhere along the way though. I don’t lack anything here except stability. I’m happy in this relationship. To this day, the draw of fresh poon doesn’t draw me to cut it off, because I don’t feel like I need it. I’m focusing on my career. I have options if I do end things.

That being said, was I too cold? Perhaps afraid of showing too much affection, I don’t know. I’d made that mistake in past LTR’s, and I wanted to do this one right.

Anything stand out to you?