I have NO fucking balls

• I'm a virgin
• I'm desperate
• I go out to approach
• I have NO fucking balls

I watch a lot of pick up videos on YouTube. I even have a simple line planned that I can use as an opener.

Everyday when I am supposed to go to campus, I say to myself, I WILL cold approach at least 1 girl and FUCKING FAIL. It's so fucking frustrating. I just CANNOT find it in myself to go and approach. I chicken out at the last moment.

I see a girl walking in my direction, I get close to her and and the end moment, my brain is "you know what motherfucker, you ain't got what it takes" and I just keep walking. I have gotten SO fucking comfortable calling myself a pussy, that it doesn't even affect me anymore. I'd rather be fine with being called a pussy than go and talk to the girl.

I have approach only 4 girls before in my life, and it turned out okay. They was very friendly, and I didn't struggle in the conversation, and they helped me carry the conversation further. When I was new on campus, I used to think that no one knows me, even if I make a fool to of myself, no one will remember who that guy was. But now, 2-3 months later, I feel like everyone around me is judging me.

I hate myself so much. It's been like 2 months since I'm actively "trying" to cold approach but I just CANNOT. I'd rather get punched in my face than step out of my comfort zone. I'm that motherfucker doing laps around the campus hoping to cold approach girls but just ends up walking 3-4 miles a day.

I'm just so fucking tired bro...