They must expend time and effort on me so I can also return it. But what if their supposed king treatment is too overwhelming?

A older/avg I see overspends when we go out. For example, I would have declined if I've known but she last surprised me with a private beach getaway, I assumed we were only going to hang out at the public side... I had a glance of the price, it was close to a thousand. 10 times more than I spend on her!

We've known each other for almost a year, twice a month we see each other. I try to refrain from texting her regularly. Though she subtly used this (her spending & time investment) against me, it feels a bit transactional now. And if she demands more exclusivity and I refuse, I feel like a bitch.

Yes, I can repay her, but she insisted that her giving are "gifts". And her professional life (she is a law partner) is incomparable to mine. But I do favor the independent kinds since I believe them to be less prone to clinginess.

In this scenario, given her tremendous effort it feels like she has the right to my time. Before we can name myself the bitch times two, how does this work out exactly?

I've always been the one who spends on dates. But with her, it's pretty much the reverse. I could maybe set this up as a long-term, family friend type FWB..

Do I simply tell her to cut back on her spending? Do I instead come forth and define what we are?

TL;DR - She's older, more successful, spends alot on me. Can't match it & I feel a bit indebted. Curious to read any personal experience about something like this