We’ve been talking/fucking for about 3-4 months now. To be honest, I actually caught some feelings for this chick that I dropped a couple of my other plates. Things have been going very well, positive, and nontoxic. She does a lot for me that actually makes my life better - cook, clean, she works hard to it indirectly influences me to work hard towards my goals as well, she’s very feminine and submissive which I love, and we have a lot of fun hanging out.
About a month ago I caught her lying. When we first started fucking, I asked her if she got tested before having sex with me, and she told me she got tested 2 months before that but only had SZ with 2 guys since then (both ONS) always used a condom. I said ok and told her mine. But one month ago she lets slip that one of those guys didn’t use a condom, they were very drunk. This made me livid, and yes it’s a red flag in my beliefs for a LTR. She cries for days talking about how sorry she is, she says she only told me what she thought I wanted to hear at the time because she likes me a lot and doesn’t want to lose me. She even tells all her best friends, who tells her that it wasn’t like her at all. She feels so bad that she gets tested the next day and sends me the negative results. I also think that it wasn’t like her at all but I had enough self respect to start plating other girls, and keep her on the side. Was considering hard nesting her due to that but things still went well with her and I didn’t feel attached or have oneitis so I thought maybe we could continue fucking.
I soft next her for about 3 weeks due to this, but still talking occasionally - low effort. She is very submissive to me and calls me things like “master” or “her king” and eventually we start hanging out and fucking again. Sex is good obviously, no toxicity and basically I upgrade her from side chick to main chick again.
Fast forward to just last week, I catch her in a lie again. She originally told me she never gave oral sex to that guy without the condom, but she then told me she did give a BJ. I call her out on this and ask why she lied again. She tries to remember details of the night but it ends up triggering something in her. She starts crying and tells me that that night she was actually raped and have since tried to forget it but remembering the vulgar details set her off. I know most of you would call her out for lying, but the look on her face and tears streaming down her eyes have mostly convinced me. She told me that at first she was kissing him at his apartment and taking her clothes off, went third base, but when he penetrated her, her head was spinning due to alcohol and she couldn’t speak. Eventually she felt pain during the penetration and barely said “I think I need to stop”, and the guy says to her “cmon you can do this!” She closes her eyes and lets him finish. Then the guy proceeds to vomit everywhere because he was drunk too.
That was fucking painful to hear tbh but I’m just typing it out now to get everyone’s opinions. I have a bit of feelings for the chick but fuck this was heavy. I told her to talk to her therapist and to report the guy and she did. She said she didn’t report it the night of because she wasn’t sure - it was her friend blah blah blah and she has since blocked him on every contact.
I have feelings, but it is fucking difficult to next her given the situation. I do care about her. I am not sure I even feel comfortable having sex with her anymore due to that visual she put in my head. She was honest with me and was considering not telling me because she’s afraid to lose me. Tbh I might have made the mistake of pushing for the info because I wanted to see if I could trust her, and she ended up telling me everything.
What do I do?
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