~ archived since 2018 ~

Return of the ex/ how to plate?

October 7, 2021

Hey so I’m gonna keep this simple guys. Dated my ex for year about and dumped her before college. We hooked up once that same winter and haven’t spoken since (2018). Two days ago she followed me on Instagram again, on what just so happened to be national boyfriends day. I’m only looking to plate this girl at most, what’s a good strategy to do so… her birthday is next week so I’m thinking of just hitting her with the subtle happy birthday and maybe we “catch up” from there? Let me know what y’all think

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Post Information
Title Return of the ex/ how to plate?
Author RelativeWear0
Upvotes 3
Comments 12
Date October 7, 2021 12:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/newTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/newTRP/return-of-the-ex-how-to-plate.1095169
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/newTRP/comments/q2xcks/return_of_the_ex_how_to_plate/
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[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

im sensing hints of oneitis, but I might be wrong. if you want to try to plate and ex you HAVE to be 100% over her and 100% sure you won't get back into a relationship with her. only you can be the judge of that, but we deceive ourselves on purpose sometimes, telling ourselves "oh yeah I don't have feelings for her, I'd never get back with her" when in reality deep down you kinda want that... but if AND ONLY IF that isn't the case, you can go ahead and try to turn it back into a fwb situation, but I'd highly suggest you have at least one or two plates already spinning before you try this. if she ends up being your only plate you're much more likely to fall back into a relationship with her which has already proven to be toxic (people don't change, and if you get back into a relationship you'll have all the same problems all over again)

oh and as far as how to plate an ex, just run it like you normally would with any other girl; text back and forth for two or three rounds (just fluff rapport building talk asking how the other has been, if they've been up to anything exciting recently) then just push for logistics. suggest you two meet up for drinks sometime, if she responds with a yes, meet up, catch up, invite back to your place and escalate. but if she responds with anything other than a 'yes' consider her interest to be low and just move on

[–]RelativeWear0[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

finally someone helpful lol. yeah definitely over her, I left her to get the full college experience. seems like she’s tried it out but is crawling back to me at this point, so I don’t see why spinning her would be a bad idea. Gonna try it out, would you recommend shooting that birthday text to break the ice?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

yeah you could text that to break the ice, but be careful. a lot of times exes will text you/follow you on insta/text you some fluff as bait just to see if you'll bite. then if you bite and then try to meet up with her she'll either ghost you or keep you at arms length. they get off on knowing you still want to meet up with them, then when they reject your advances they feel better about themselves.

btw most of the time plating an ex is detrimental to your growth. every hour you invest trying to get with an ex is an hour you could have spent dating new girls, plus you've already slept with her so the novelty wont really be there. but hey if she sets you up for an easy fwb situation, and you know you won't catch feelings again I guess it could be worth a shot

[–]RelativeWear0[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

so if she doesn’t bite, go no contact right away? I’d be pretty annoyed if she came back “just to check”. I’ll start plotting a quick chess move while I talk to these two other girls right now.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

no need for chess, just hit her up, if she's receptive push for a meetup. if you get anything other than a 'yes' for your request to meet; soft next

[–]Meloxian 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m just waiting for the third movie in the trilogy before I watch it.

[–]breakupstrategy 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Every mention to an ex in redpillistan always has the same generic comments (something something oneitis).

It’s been years and you don’t sound like you have any fuzzy thinking at the moment. I reckon your birthday message idea is solid — you’ve got a good opening and should shoot your shot.

Fucking an ex after a few years is an interesting experience. The sex is usually pretty good (assuming she wasn’t hopefulness in the first place) since there’s a level of obvious chemistry and your frame should be solid since it’s a short encounter (don’t fuck it up by communicating a heap before meeting — keep any/all mystery for in person).

The post sex experience is usually shit. Once the endorphins wear off, you’ll probably need to seperate ASAP — that’s when things go down hill fast IMO.

[–]RelativeWear0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

thanks breakupstrategy I shall heed your words a strictly hit and quit, won’t waste any time grabbing at straws.

[–]Give_Praise_Unto_Me -3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

national boyfriend day

That you knew this was a thing tells me Sidebar 4 U.

[–]RelativeWear0[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I knew because every girl wouldn’t stop posting about it… thanks for the non helpful advice smh

[–]LebaneseBrownSugar0 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Not recommended, clearly you have no abundance instead you're digging in old trash.

[–]RelativeWear0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

who says that? she willingly came back after no contact for years, how am I digging?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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