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Should I ever go to clubs if I don't drink and can't dance at all ?

ElXToro
July 1, 2021
11 upvotes
/r/newTRP

First of all I was rly confused that I couldn't use asktrp anymore. Hopefully there are ppl who would love to help out a rookie like me. Cheers !

Would greatly appreciate some advice. I don't like alcohol. I like music but I don't dance, at all. Only thing I could do is bop my head or jump to the beat, that's it.. Also, I'm still a beginner at learning & working on improving game. I know that clubs are great for experience & alcohol lowers social inhibition & it gets easier.

I however have quite High Social inhibition & I'm afraid of getting drunk because I would potentially embarrass myself or cross some socially unacceptable barriers or sth. At least that's one of my biggest fears. But if you don't drink and everybody in a group drinks and you're not even a muslim, how one could go about that ?

Is it even worthwhile to try and see how it may turn out ? My family, from both sides, have a history of alcohol abuse. My grandfather even OD'ed of alc. I would be also really concerned of getting addicted to alcohol due to my genes.

I've recently met peers who like getting drunk and hitting the clubs, it would be fun to be able to join them, but I don't want to get drunk. So I've no clue how to approach this. Should I just not go to clubs ever at all ? Is it even worth going there if you're the only one sober the whole time ?

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Post Information
Title Should I ever go to clubs if I don't drink and can't dance at all ?
Author ElXToro
Upvotes 11
Comments 13
Date July 1, 2021 11:02 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/newTRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/newTRP/should-i-ever-go-to-clubs-if-i-dont-drink-and-cant.1095041
https://theredarchive.com/post/1095041
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/newTRP/comments/obxhfz/should_i_ever_go_to_clubs_if_i_dont_drink_and/
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Comments

[–]CoyoteMiyamoto 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Don't go clubbing. That's like one of the worst places for picking up good women. Most of the time they're either hunting for some idiots who can provide VIP opportunities or free drinks. Plus the music is way too loud. Yeah you can ask some washed up broad if she wants to come home with you. It's fucking easy if her friends are attractive, too. They'll encourage her to have some fun with a dog like you.

If your peers do something you don't like doing, you look for other people. I guarantee that you won't have a good time if you feel the negative pull of the group. You'll be on edge and everybody, especially the women there, will feel it. Don't drink, don't go clubbing.

If there are any cafés or even hookah lounges in your area, check them out. Unbelievable opportunities there. Ever talked to women in hookah lounges? Everybody is chill and they feel extra sexy with all the sweet smoke coming out of their mouths. The waitresses there are also hot most of the time.

[–]ElXToro[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Brilliant, Thanks for confirming my hunches ! I appreciate the hookah suggestion, but I also don't smoke bc of similar issues in family w/ alcohol. + I'm asthmatic, mildly now, but still, nonetheless. I'm new in this place & might stay only for a couple months. Gonna keep on looking for new people, try build good social circles. Cheers

[–]Darylwilllive4evr 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I am okay when approaching women at other places but how do you do it at a hookah lounge? They are always with their friends on a table, i’m not sure how to approach them.

[–]CoyoteMiyamoto 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You create eye contact and confirm her interest in you. She's having a smoking pipe in her mouth while looking at you. It couldn't be more ideal for you. Look at her until she takes a hit and let's the smoke out. If she's still looking at you, you go over to her table and ask her what flavor she's smoking.

Her answer doesn't matter. You tell her you know a better flavor and that you'll show her yourself. She'll probably say something reserved like "okay" or "sure" That's when you ask for her name. You then introduce yourself. Go around the table and shake everybody's hand and tell them it's nice to meet them. Make sure you don't shake her hand initially. Look at her while saying your name and then turn away for the hand shaking. Order the hookah you were talking about for the group and ask them if it's okay if you wait for their reaction to your superior flavor. This is a perfect window for chitchat.

Once you get your hookah and she takes a hit you confidently say something like "and? Have I promised too much?". Again, it doesn't really matter what she says afterwards. Either it'll be "it's really good" or "it's okay". She probably won't shit on your taste. You tell them to enjoy it and wish them a great evening. Before you go you ask for her number or give her yours.

If that's too much work for you, you can obviously just go up to her and ask her. But chances are high she won't bother in front of her friends. It's better to build some rapport with her group before going for the number.

This works even better if you're about to leave. In that case you can do it with a busy "I'm on my way out" attitude. Asking for the number will seem like it just crossed to your mind, too. Way more casual.

[–]Darylwilllive4evr 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

might try that next time!

[–]Sudden-Complaint7037[M] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't get how a lot of guys obsess over clubbing. IMHO, the essence of clubbing is frying your brain with alcohol, blowing out your ears with loud music and picking up drunk girls of possibly the lowest quality you can find. Club girls make for bad plates and even worse LTRs.

So if you don't like clubbing, don't do it, you're really not missing out on much. Do daygame (by which I mean the genuine, non-autistic kind), go to other, less degenerate public ventures and gatherings, or look for women in your social circle.

However:

I however have quite High Social inhibition & I'm afraid of getting drunk because I would potentially embarrass myself or cross some socially unacceptable barriers or sth. At least that's one of my biggest fears

That's something you've got to work on. Social inhibition is bad. It sounds like you're probably college-aged, but as soon as you get out of school and into the workforce, social inhibition can and most likely will fuck up your career.

https://archive.is/kC4mg - Silent Majority: Social Anxiety

https://archive.ph/JhGEX - How Science Says You Should Overcome Social Anxiety

[–]ElXToro[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks a lot for such a well thought out answer. I guess I'll keep on going to events from meetup.com & whatever similar stuff I'll find, like fb events.

Yeah, bc of growing up sort of a loner & only having a couple close good friends at a time I never really developed that much socially. Right now one of my goals is to improve this, build new social circles.

I didn't go to uni/college. Thought of taking a gap year & now it's developed into a rather long break. Because of that I had to already be in the workforce for a couple years now. Since it was mostly call centers it wasn't bad with social inhibition.

Perfect links there, gonna have to make more time to read & analyse them well. Thanks a lot again, you really helped out & calmed me down.

[–]throwitdownman 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Gonna heavily disagree with the others. GO. GO. GO. Even if you don’t drink or can’t dance! I got most of my lays, actual closes, via the club. On a bad night you’ll get a number, on a good an f-close is normal.

It was my ‘go-to’ to find a new plate pre-covid. Sometimes I’d take matches off dating apps for drinks and quickly transition to a club. Somehow girls become massive sluts in a club, and literally the sensible girl I was chatting with is now grinding me like a stripper.

I can’t dance, but luckily most girls have decent rhythm. All you have to do is to chat one up, and dance WITH her. When the club gets packed she’ll be on you due to space constraints and it’s easy kino.

For the drinking issue, nobody will bust your ass for not drinking. If your friends are getting shots, just walk away and return later, they’ll be having too much fun to remember. Or, just enter the club later like at 12am so everyone would’ve already drank and say you already drank as well.

Clubbing should be 90% finding/dancing with girl(s) and 10% drinking with friends. Clubs mark up their alcohol most people go in there to dance and get laid.

[–]ElXToro[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Alright, thanks a lot. Basically from what I got clubbing is for easier lays but moreso for ONS, so it might not be such a bad idea to see how it goes at least. And just bopping my head to the music isn't too bad as well. Also, I've heard it's easy to loose your group in such venues. So gotta account to that. Great advice, much appreciated !

[–]throwitdownman 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s super easy to lose your group, for good and bad. Typically I like wandering off so I can find and isolate girls without my friends giggling behind. If it isn’t successful, I’d rejoin my group to chat and hang out with them. If my buddy really likes a girl but she is with her friend this is where I’ll be a good friend and take her friend away from them, be his wingman so to speak.

For my group, we go in the club together but by the end of the night we typically all scatter as we would’ve paired up and rather spend the night with a girl. It makes for great stories the next day. And if a ONS doesn’t happen, go home with the numbers and arrange a date sometime during the week.

Also, I don’t totally agree that the nightclub is for ONS. For guys yes, but for most women they see it as a place to meet a ‘cool guy’. Almost every girl I met and took home will give me the ‘so what are we’ talk and explicitly tell me she wants an exclusive relationship. Like, they assume a relationship will happen. So be prepared not to get guilt-tripped into an LTR, chicks will manipulate a relationship out of an ONS. Give a firm no as they’re for the streets.

[–]ElXToro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for getting back. I'll be sure to note this, hopefully I won't forget all the advice. True about the ltr talk, gotta always be ready and prepared. I guess I'll go fail a lot for now & gather experience. Cheers

[–]finessekawal 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Go with friends. Have fun on your own or with the group. If anyone asks why you're not drinking tell them you're a DD or the group dad. Chicks love that shit hahah

[–]ElXToro[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Solid advice. Thank you!

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