What is actual loyalty and love?

I think loyalty is about being there for that person (regardless if you've moved on or not) especially when it comes to life emergencies. I think a true test of loyalty is basically making her a primary beyond other plates. But can she do the same??

What baffles me is that most women, will end a relationship even if you dare to look at or even jokingly kiss another woman. For me, I wouldn't care if she's seeing other people so long as they engage in safe sex, and I think that's where the real trust lies. I have no problem with a plate seeing someone else. And again in my opinion, it serves as the best test of loyalty. But for the majority of guys, dare catch another woman's eye besides her own will make her walk away and hop on to the next guy who would probably do the same thing. Why is this?

Crazy enough, an ex I had didn't mind that she was almost flirting with other men. She claims it helps her feel accepted and beautiful. But whoa, I can't act similarly and flirt with or get flirted on by other women. But when I did, I was given an ultimatum.

Sure there are undoubtedly million types of personalities, but it appears to be generally understood that when we allow someone to flirt with us, we get an ultimatum rather than a slap on the wrist. How come this is the case?

I'll share a real life example I had with another ex, she was simply (before getting a bit entangled) supposed to be a plate.

At the end, we got to the point where she started openly giving me screens of txt exchanges from other guys who may be good dates for her.

Now this is after I broke up with her.

I wasn't overly bothered by these texts. But what I want to try to understand is how it's typically more acceptable that she can go bonkers if I did the same. I couldn't be bothered by the screen shots one bit, except for some parts where she'd talk shit about me.

I still wound up having sex with her every time she arranges a date and gets ready for it an hour in advance.

Now she appeared to have moved on to a new guy.

But what I want to understand is how she would act all highly about monogamy while she was the one keeping a bit of my scent while on dates. For the record, I no longer see her, but I'm confident that her current guy is merely a hook-up phase that might just end quickly. Sure, long-term relationships can develop from dating apps, but I they're uncommon. And it just makes me depressed to think that she stays naïve about it.

We're all human and most of us are all just probably always horny, she did say that I opened her up for wanting more and more.. She also didn't really have confidence in herself, but after I encouraged her to just start dating, lawyers to musicians hit her up, I believe she stayed a little bit with me (even while she was dating) because of some dick game. I'm simply just trying to decipher this, and not to mean it like a bragging sort of way...

Funny enough, she said she'll always love me, so I have a slight feeling she'll still come to me even if she's pre-occupied. Is this actual loyalty?

Last but not the least, how far can good sex go for most women? Will it be enough for them to not care that you're also juggling other plates?

I just can't wrap my head how she goes nuclear even at the mention of talking to another woman. Yet she was on a dating phase but still also having sex with me.

Is the ability of partners or friends to treat sex without making it too personal a sign of maturity? Are some women just not mature enough to think this? Any books where I can read up on this sort of stuff?

TL;DR - Double standards, why it's more accepted for them to get flirted on or see others while we get shot out to the moon if we do the same. And yet to most, she'd be fine with the idea of men hanging out with her but we can't do the same with other women. Even if I don't mind her fucking other guys (as long as they're safe and STD-free), the concept of me doing the same with women is beyond unacceptable in mainstream and in her mind.

Just looking for a TRP perspective on this...