I've only had two LTRs, both of whom have turned into wonderful friends with whom I can occasionally confide. I'm only now dating outwardly, and while most of my matches are from apps, I'm getting decent feedback, albeit from average looking matches.

HB 6, I was able to sleep in her bed on our last date, but she played the "I want to get to know you better" card. She also appeared to be in the rough play dynamic part, almost as if she wanted me to force myself to do it. That surprised me. I didn't want to force anything & I was also a bit tired that night. Her body might've also played a role, it was just like "whoa, she looks different from my ex LTR", deer in headlights.

I think that my previous LTRs have conditioned me to believe that even a small kiss or a hand hold is an act of commitment. At the same time, being this vague makes me feel like shit. And my average type matches are mostly, yes average (late 20s, 30s), and seem to have settled down on careers, some even better than mine. But it feels like it's a set up for an early commitment. It's also pretty fucked up, we'd spend time and smooch but on the very same week, just ghost or ignore each other. As with someone who was used to LTR, this feels lonesome but I also like the freedom.

Because I'm new, please accept my apologies. I'm reading but I feel like I need something else that can hit the spot. The last thing I want is a surprised visit from an angry plate while I'm with a current date.