Desire: The willingness to publicly and shamelessly display your attraction towards an individual woman.

Desperation: The willingness to alter the course of your day-to-day life for an individual woman.

Desire is a turn-on, desperation is a turn-off. Desire is a bold move that showcases your libido. Desperation makes you look like an easily manipulated sucker.

  • Staring at a cute stranger? Okay.
  • Complimenting a part of her outfit that you really can't keep your eyes off of? Okay.
  • Man-sitting when you've begun conversation? Encouraged.
  • Touching, rubbing, pulling to guide? Necessary.

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  • Buying a drink or snack for her? Minor foul.
  • Driving her places when she doesn't actually need the help? Bad.
  • Taking hours out of your life just so she can meet with you and vent about how much her life sucks? Bad, bad, BAD.
  • Buying an expensive gift for her, like a car or a vacation, when you're "just friends"? The absolute worst place you can be.

There's always some acknowledgement of this concept on manosphere forums, but it gets worded in a confusing and contradictory way. "Own your sexual desire! But be outcome independent and display abundance mentality." "Approach and be confident! But be your own man, not a slave to pussy." Where's the line? Here it is. If I had to sum it up in four words, they'd be: Don't sacrifice for her.

Caveat: Broad strokes measures that improve your SMV, such as working out and sharpening up your wardrobe, don't count as desperation, because they add far more to your life than just an icebreaker with the individual woman you're talking to, and everyone in the real world knows that.