Gather round and let The_Tinder_Rapist shower you mighty man-warriors with knowledge of how easy it is to get numbers on this ridiculous app.

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  • The Formula

Opener as a question. E.g "So how many puppies are we going to adopt?"

If positive reply "Omg I love puppies!" Agree, Ask: "Dachshunds are my favourite! Do you have whatsapp?"

If negative "Ewww puppies" Agree, Amplify, Ask: "Ok we can get kittens but I'm naming the cutest one. Do you have whatsapp?"

Note: Saying "Do you have whatsapp, this kills my battery" is much more effective. Plausible deniability'n'all

  • Trolling/Stalking

An important thing to note on Tinder: Once you get a girl's number, you have immediate access to her snapchat username. Usually the snapchat username is her full name, thus immediately giving you her facebook, pinterest, instagram, soundcloud etc for stalking/trolling purposes.

Who doesn't like trolling women?

Obviously google helps you find a lot more. If her snapchat username is something arbitrary, like "badgermoondildo", then google will help give you everything else the username is linked with.

  • Swiping

There is no reason to dawdle or to be picky. Swipe yes on everyone. You're the fisherman. Throw your bait at as many fish as possible, see what comes back. Don't like the fish you've caught or the whale you've harpooned? Throw it back in the sea for some malnourished betaboy whale watcher to catch. You can swipe about 3 people per second. That's 10800 an hour, yo. The slower you are at swiping, the less women you see. Simple numbers game.

This message was brought to you handsome specimens by The_Tinder_Rapist.

Stronk like bear.

Fast like train.

Happy Stalking!