Single Men vs Single Women

NOTSM · 2022-11-21T16:59:24+00:00

Involuntary single men are considerably more violent than their female counterparts. The same is true for voluntarily single men, men in relationships and any other demographics you can think of

Men are just straight up more violent than women

Due-Lie-8710 · 2022-11-21T16:51:32+00:00

Society places of alot of a man worth on how much money they and how much sex they have, if they don't succeed in both they are both shunned and socially isolated

Holden_Frame · 2022-11-21T17:10:02+00:00

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InteriorInsights99 · 2022-11-21T20:58:42+00:00

Ive heard the following hundreds of times…

-‘he doesn’t earn enough so he must be lazy/lacks ambition.’

-‘there’s obviously something wrong with him.’

-‘he’s single because he can’t offer anything/he doesn’t know how to talk to women/he’s bad in bed’ ( it’s always one of these!).

Concerning single women:

-‘she just hasn’t met the right person yet.´

-‘most men are a waste of space/lack money/are poor/lazy/unambitious so she’s obviously having a tough time finding someone.´

When men are single it’s their fault. When women are single it’s because men aren’t good enough!!

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-11-21T17:44:22+00:00

It’s how they’re treated…duh

Single women still EASILY have dates and sex so they’re not “really” single a man they can fuck or go out with is a click away

Single men are LONELY. Unless they’re fucking their ex or have flings or whatever (which is infinitely harder for men to get) they don’t have SHIT going on.

It’s a completely different level of isolation so ofc they’ll lash out

Plus they tend to get mocked and ostracized and they want to feel alive and go out with a bang/swinging

Regardless it is what it is that’s what testosterone can do to you

HazyMemory7 · 2022-11-21T19:25:35+00:00

Why do people make generalizations and demonize men for the actions of an astronomically small percentage of men? There are nearly 4 billion males in the world. How many of them are involuntarily single men who commit acts of violence? Ironically the demonization of men for the actions of the few is one of the reasons the manosphere has exploded and why so many men are drawn to the alt right.

Do you realize the these men you describe make up like 0.00000001% of men, and are mentally deranged psychopaths? Most "incels" are just normal every day guys with jobs, hobbies, friends ect...This is like me pointing to Casey Anthony or the OF model Courtney Tailor who killed her boyfriend or Amber Turd and asking why do women commit violence.

People like this will ALWAYS exist. The best you can do is report any suspicion of violence to the police. Women could also stop using incel and virgin as catch-all insults against men that disagrees with them, that would help, for starters. Can't claim to care about mental health and then shame men for lack of sexual experience. Pick one.

In my time on reddit I also find the notion that involuntarily single women blame themselves for being single to be pretty silly.

2022-11-21T19:02:43+00:00

Not to sound like platitudes, but feminism and sexual emancipation are used as arguments to normalize hook up culture. Of course, acting out one's sexual desires is the right thing to do, but for a large proportion of people who are not socialized and liberalized like a Western European, it is difficult to adapt. I am a Turkish woman born in Europe. I feel lost. One has become disposable. People are constantly judged by unrealistic ideals of beauty from social media. Massive porn use dulls, normal things no longer stimulate. And honestly, the men on platforms the self-declared feminists are the very ones who seek open relationships, hook ups, or F+ and think that's the premise of being a tolerant and open person. I live in Germany and it seems like everyone is looking for something casual, you're labeled as bourgeois if you don't want it. But as a less social person, how am I supposed to get to know men?

tired_hillbilly · 2022-11-21T17:32:50+00:00

I think we need to bring up the internet in this topic.

The radicalization of boys and men online is not just a rumor. It’s real, it happens. The secret service now profiles people who self identify as incels and commit violent crimes. They’ve released a document which is now available online.

https://www.secretservice.gov/newsroom/releases/2022/03/secret-services-latest-research-highlights-mass-violence-motived-misogyny

Edit: The onus of addressing the serious rise of incel violence is not on the backs of young women trying to figure out their own lives. It is an issue that needs to be addressed by law enforcement, mental health professionals, and the judicial system.

Purple317 · 2022-11-21T17:42:36+00:00

OP, I think you really hit the nail on the head with this part:

The hatred that single men may embody for themselves and the world around them is now an issue women have been asked to consider.

There is something I’ve noticed on this sub that sort of ties in with this. The men on here (not all of them) who seem to harbor the most disdain / vitriol for women in general are also the same men who expect higher levels of empathy and cooperation from women as a whole. They will go on and on about how women are shallow, vain, illogical, etc…and then get angry when women don’t respond with the endless compassion or understanding they feel they are owed.

Anykindofland · 2022-11-21T18:31:51+00:00

Why are involuntarily single women not expressing the same violent behaviors, especially when they have much more to lose, much more quickly than the single man?

Because they are not truly single. Their standards are just so insanely high that nothing can satisfy them. They could easily find someone if they left their ivory towers for a single moment.

I don't know why people even try to compare single women to single men since their whole situation is so vastly different. The burden of performance lies solely on the shoulders of men. They have to be handsome, tall, funny, charming and everything in between while women have to be there. Women even acknowledge this yet clearly state that they will not move from this passive position of power.

That wouldn't even be the problem if men didn't face a huge backlash for simply trying. They are forced to shoot their shot and get called creepy for it. They are the ones who have to initiate everything and get ridiculed when they fail (How often have you seen the “Thats a lot of words to say you never touched a women” line during an argument even if sex was a completely unrelated topic?). They are the ones who face constant rejection for stuff like being to small yet have to accept that not being attracted to obese women is a hate crime.

anonymous-platypus1 · 2022-11-21T18:01:51+00:00

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Barely-moral · 2022-11-21T17:49:44+00:00

Let’s look at “involuntarily” single women:

Will be alone at the end of their life.

Only if she refused to settle for the men that are interested in her.

Possibly financially unstable.

That goes for most single people.

Still able to have sex, not able to get commitment.

Correct.

may blame themselves for their situation.

Or patriarchy.

May convince others to not seek relationships with such urgency

Ok. Nothing wrong.

Now for involuntary single men:

Angry and volatile at their situation.

Of course. It makes sense.

May contribute to hostile movements either online or in person.

If a society does not consider your needs enough to provide for them then it makes sense to consider it an enemy.

Blames others for their situation and feels like they are in a loosing battle.

Results speak for themselves.

General worry that these men need to get into relationships before they reach the end of their ropes.

Correct.

Why is it that single men seem to treat being single as a justification for violence?

Because violence is the default state. I need to be convinced not to be violent. My non violence comes as a price. I know I can do damage. That social contract is that I will cause no trouble even if I could and in exchange I get a fair chance and opportunity to be happy. That includes sex.

Even here, it’s often said that “unwanted men will eventually say they’ve had enough”. There is a threat that’s hanging over the heads of women and wanted men, that doesn’t happen when the discussion is focused on single women.

Because women suck at violence.

The hatred that single men may embody for themselves and the world around them is now an issue women have been asked to consider.

Fair. Consider that then.

Single men have weaponized their relationship status: made it a movement and a battle cry: so I ask, what can be done?

Create an artificial replacement for women. One that has no free will and no rights. One that can be sold/rented. That way men can work and get their needs met in return without bothering women.

One of the main issues I see is men discussing not having access to the women they want. The women they want are used up. The women they want don’t want them.

Honestly, what can we even do to fix that?

See above.

Why are involuntarily single women not expressing the same violent behaviors, especially when they have much more to lose, much more quickly than the single man?

Because if women decided to change things through violence they would lose. They don't need to do violence. They can convince men to change things for them.

There are invisible women out here that halve never been given attention. Some have never even had someone only want them for access to sex. Their chance at motherhood and family has passed them, or will soon pass them by, and they are sad, depressed, despondent even, but not livid.

Because they suck at violence.

Whats going wrong here?

Men are using the one last and only tool. Violence, force. The first authority from which every other authority derives from.

Noodles_R · 2022-11-21T17:02:02+00:00

Men tend to turn emotions outward, like anger. Women tend to turn emotions inward, like sadness.

Not always, but it’s generally how genders divide. Is it such a leap to then see that men externalise their issues and push them out onto others, while women internalise theirs?

KekeSmall · 2022-11-21T19:11:40+00:00

Simple. Single women =something wrong with me/not chosen Single men= something wrong with women for not picking me. I could be wrong but has there been a female Elliot Rodgers,Tres Genco, Scott Beierle?? When men are frustrated and angry with the world justified or not they’re more likely to take out that frustration outwards.

etherael · 2022-11-21T17:55:56+00:00

that doesn’t happen when the discussion is focused on single women.

Because the state applies violence on their behalf. A state doing the same on behalf of incels would probably result in incels not being viewed as the threat they may otherwise be viewed as either. But that only sorta happens in the Netherlands. The Dutch don't seem to have many incels.

Also I remember a story from I think it was Palestine, when the PLO wanted to take a radical out of the picture on their side reliably after peace deals, the way to do it that worked the best would be to fix him up with a wife and family, at which point he'd be perfectly happy to put down the sword and live a peaceful life. Maybe this is just the way the world goes and will always go at scale, from the Sabine women in Rome to modern day. Otherwise unremarkable violent men that have nothing else going for them will eventually resort to violence if the problem is big enough in scale.

Also in countries where women must provide for themselves or have a husband to provide for them and no state provided welfare is available, inceldom is once again enormously reduced in prevalence.

Disclaimer; the above is not to be taken to excuse violence by individuals or indeed even states which ideally I don't think should exist at all, it's just an observation on the way things are.

Single men have weaponized their relationship status: made it a movement and a battle cry: so I ask, what can be done?

Probably some combination of economic adjustment making stable provider types more appealing, states subsidising what men get out of romantic relationships the same way what women get out of relationships is subsidised, and men getting over it and just dealing with the reality of their situation.

Cult_of_Chad · 2022-11-21T17:25:21+00:00

This is not a 'single men' issue. A lot of gay men resign themselves to being alone and they don't shoot up straight nightclubs or women's gyms.

Straight men have an entitlement problem and a massively overinflated sense of self-worth. The rest of us learn we're worthless pretty much as a matter of course. There's no path to male self-empowerment that doesn't start from within; no one else can make you worthy.

obviousredflag · 2022-11-21T17:35:12+00:00

Short answer: men and women are different. There is no reason to expect them to deal with involuntary singlehood the same way.

Steakman1 · 2022-11-21T17:48:58+00:00

I think most of those men recognize violence is wrong and not justified by them being single. It’s that they simply don’t care. Being a man and not being able to have sex, especially if you’re still a virgin, will lead you to being isolated by many. People won’t respect you and you’ll be seen as less of a man. I think the main thing men strive to get from others is respect. So when they have the exact opposite from most people, it’s a problem for them. There’s been pushback from women on their side and now there’s sort of a pride associated with being single as a woman. And a woman’s ability to have sex has never really been associated with their perceived value. It’s more been if she’s had too much sex. On the other hand, you’re still perceived as a loser if you can’t have sex as a man.

Oftentimes I think part of the motive for many violent men who make it on the news is to get attention even if it’s negative. Which is why I think it’s counterproductive to display their name everywhere.

agpass · 2022-11-21T18:36:21+00:00

I think 2 things are probably happening here. For one, men are more predisposed to violence than women and that can translate into violent/aggressive/hateful thoughts.

The second thing is that more women have access to an outlet for these feelings. Women are encouraged to open up emotionally while men seem to be discouraged. You constantly see women hyping up their newly single friends/single friends in general. Women used to have to rely on men before we were allowed to work and I think we celebrate not needing them anymore.

While I do think younger women tend to rely on men/relationships to feel “whole” and have their worth entirely dependent on them, that typically fades as we get older and we find our worth in other things. I’ve learned that there are a lot of men that think there worth lies in the women that fuck them. I don’t think there’s a tendency for these men to bond over this since they are taught to be stoic/unbothered.

Obviously, none of this applies to every man or every women and I’m speaking on an incredibly general level, but those have been my insights.

LowCreddit · 2022-11-21T22:29:15+00:00

What's going wrong is two part:

Marriage is a shit deal for men, and
Women are having money and opportunity shoveled at them at the cost of the men around them.

Single women aren't expressing themselves the same way men are because they aren't men and their situation isn't as bad.

Podlubnyi · 2022-11-21T18:07:41+00:00

Whats going wrong here?

Who raised these men? Women. In this generation, almost 50% of sons are in single mother households and 80% of teachers are female.

Secret_agent979 · 2022-11-21T17:44:24+00:00

A woman that no one wanted just for sex… doubtful.

gymbro718nyc2 · 2022-11-21T16:36:16+00:00

Incels are already blowing people up or shooting gay clubs up. That latest one could have showered and may have gotten offers to get sex from the guys in the club as opposed to killing them. So these are not idle threats. You should report them to Reddit and the FBI every time some one here threatens that there will be violence unless women start having sex wjth him and his loser brethren.

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Ambassadior · 2022-11-21T19:06:53+00:00

Is it something to be fixed? If men don't want to do the work to be viable relationship material they don't have to. Otherwise we'd have to recreate a system to force women to love these men. Not only is it wrong but it doesn't help the men when they are inevitability divorce raped and their kids suffer from horrible households.

Let guys find their own way to enjoy the decline. Less relationships is just a natural state with this new world, if men want it badly enough they figure it out. No reason to force it.

RealAmericanWeasel · 2022-11-21T19:06:57+00:00

I don’t know. There are almost no single females looking to meet someone. I don’t see how you can make generalizations about that small a sample size.

nasspolya · 2022-11-21T23:30:19+00:00

Incels are mainly quiet, sometimes also kind people. 2. It's not a movement. It's a definition being twisted out. 3. They are - by far - not the greatest problem of our days. They are just another easy target for bullies. 4. Cliché on cliché...

w1se_old_tree · 2022-11-22T02:44:30+00:00

Why are involuntarily single women

It's incredibly rare for women to be involuntarily single.

ashleyrose56 · 2022-11-22T09:59:46+00:00

This hasn't anything to do with men being "more bitter" than women for being single. Men are just more prone to aggression than women, in every aspect of their lives. This is true even when men are depressed. Women try to kill themselves more, but actually men are more likely to complete when they try. Suicide is the ultimate violence against oneself.

This phenomena is also seen in misandry vs misogyny. Women who hate men, avoid men, they are paranoid and scared of them. Men who are very misogynistic can't live without women, they are the ones who end up being batterers. Women are more likely to experience anxiety sintomatology, again, because of the aggression turned inwards. Men have different ways of coping with stress by externalizing aggression.

jackedsoon · 2022-11-21T18:02:34+00:00

my guess is a lot of women r ignored by these involunatry guys. i know a ton of average/ 4/10 chicks in my group who r real nice but almost never or never get any attention. only the hot ones. incels will make excuses like shes chadsexual but my experience and many others is that these girls aint like that at all. ur just shooting out ur league when u should date/fuck ur looksmatch(3-5s). if not then stay single

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-11-21T19:02:35+00:00

Men are more pre-disposed to violent tendencies. That's testosterone at work.

Most men are suppose to be frustrated. Women are suppose to be picky. That's nature. There is no solution.

I don't think there is any way to stop mass shootings from men like this. The things they are frustrated about are real. If you are loser man, no one gives a fuck about you. It's a hard life to live. Especially alone. Their anger is just misdirected. Maybe some mental health institutions for men. But I doubt it would ever be implemented properly. They would just shove pills down your throat.

Previous rules that maintained order within a society was making women dependent on men and Slut Shaming. To promote monogamy and therefore a even distribution of women. Which I don't think is what we should do.

Positive Role Models like Tate maybe the best shot we have. Just telling you how it is. Don't be a loser...

ziriani · 2022-11-21T18:53:46+00:00

“Why are involuntarily single women not expressing the same violent behaviors, especially when they have much more to lose, much more quickly than the single man?”

Testosterone

Green-Quantity1032 · 2022-11-21T19:18:06+00:00

Seriously?

Because once every 3 years some lunatic kills some people there's a movement now?

Those people mostly sit at home jerking off and lamenting online about not being above 5'7.

And yeah I can see how not having someone agreeing to touch and even consider you can be worse than not agreeing to marry you.

If I was in their situation I don't think I'd explode (most don't), I'd probably try to better myself, and if that was to no avail I'd probably implode. I don't see how it's society's responsibility that some people are genetic fuckups (no offence)

Abandons65 · 2022-11-21T20:22:48+00:00

Women just aren’t inherently violent like men, additionally the amount of single women who genuinely can’t get a relationship but want one is shockingly few. While with men there is a good amount especially amongst young men where they can’t get a relationship due to factors out of their control (looks, height, shit like that).

For women they almost always will have access to intimacy while a man feels shunned by society and that no one cares about them, so why should they care about society and not just say fuck it and be violent etc.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-11-21T19:18:06+00:00

Many people tell single men "you are not entitled to sex". They are increasingly responding "you are not entitled to a civilized society"

Society needs to ensure everyone can participate since there isn't enough police to handle even 5% being criminals. Its same reason we have welfare, to give people on the brink with nothing left to lose something to keep em going, no much just bare minimum.

Historical-System972 · 2022-11-21T19:23:59+00:00

>Single men have weaponized their relationship status: made it a movement and a battle cry: so I ask, what can be done?

Attend to their needs or relieve them of their obligations, i.e. stop expecting them to act as workhorses and prop up a society that has zero consideration for them. Since the women here tend to be a little on the slower side, I'll just come right out and say it - that means no more welfare for you or your children. You'll be forced to rely on yourselves and (possibly) the men you chose to breed with to survive.

learn2earn89 · 2022-11-21T18:16:32+00:00

Women in general have an internal locus of control and men have an external one. Key words are “in general” men have more testosterone and more likely to harbor anger/aggression.

CarHungry · 2022-11-21T18:10:54+00:00

Women do resort to violence sometimes, like jodi arias.

You seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding of masculinity, it's forced onto children and adults, not a choice. Masculinity is first and foremost a sacrifice, alot of men are bitter because they are expected to make sacrifices their entire lives and they feel women don't pull their weight. Which, depending on your metrics, is statistically verifiable. You can force these men to dissolve their masculinity about as much as you can force a post-srs trans person from wanting to be who they are. It IS who they are.

All we can really do is give men the benefit of the doubt(which does leave us vulnerable but thats the cost of a better society) and not force male only anything on anyone. Stop villifying men and their sexuality, take male victims seriously, equalize men institutionally and under the law and over the years things should even out. Its alot to ask, but the only other alternatives are be equally bitter and change nothing or just ignore it and let it fester.

You could also try picking at it and make it worse, but this is all just human nature, you don't typically get mad at a dog for biting its owner that just happened to kick it one too many times, because that's simply its nature.

N_Count_Council · 2022-11-21T17:44:26+00:00

Women want high T men; men who exhibit symptoms of high T.

Muscle mass
Jaw structure
Height & dick size
Body hair
more aggressive and irritable behavior

This is another case of women selecting for men historically with higher T levels and then complaining about the behavior.

groovygirl858 · 2022-11-21T17:02:51+00:00

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OnePotatoeChip · 2022-11-21T19:23:22+00:00

See, this is what I'm saying. There are plenty of women content with their lives as singles. Why can't so many of us dudes learn from that example? Why is there so much vitriol? Sure, it can sting to learn you're kinda unwanted. I'm a black dude - I get it; I don't really have the options of a good-looking white guy. But why turn that disappointment and anger outward and hurt people? Why not just substitute and fill our lives with different things and enjoy some of this sorta newfound freedom from worrying about romantic prospects?

Monkebizniss · 2022-11-21T20:03:26+00:00

First off, I think it’s incorrect to say that women are not bitter about their relationship status while men are. From the way women talk to each other, I sense a lot of resentment towards men from unsuccessful women, just as unsuccessful men hold resentment against women.

When it comes to violence, though, I think men are more easily radicalized towards violence because A) it’s in our culture, and B) it’s in our nature. Men, typically being stronger, simply have more dangerous bodies, and therefore, I think, resort to violence more quickly—whether that’s biologically hard-wired or culturally ingrained, or (most likely) both. Religious extremists, serial killers/rapists, and most violent criminals are most typically men. It’s not that women aren’t angry; it’s that violence is not the immediate response that most women have to that anger.

warren_edmonds · 2022-11-21T17:00:56+00:00

Male nature is different than female nature.

This shouldn't even be hard to understand.

groovygirl858 · 2022-11-21T18:44:17+00:00

The reason you see this difference is because, in general, these women do not feel entitled to men so they aren't getting angry about their situation. They internalize their situation and blame themselves, more often than not, or they just accept that "this is the way it is." These men, on the other hand, feel entitled to women and blame women for not wanting them. They see their situation as a fault of society and are angry society has let this situation happen to them.

Again, this is in general. And the internet doesn't help. These men gather and just reinforce each other's toxic worldview, which just makes them even worse.

upalse · 2022-11-21T21:15:05+00:00

Whats going wrong here?

It's not "wrong". It's literally MO of each sex.

Generally, women internalize more ("victimhood") so they're the ones more prone to blame shifting to cope with the internalized feeling of failure. Meanwhile, men blame the world from the get go ("entitlement") and are thus more prone to aggression instead of nagging / whining.

cromulent_weasel · 2022-11-21T21:17:29+00:00

I think that everything in your post is spot on, and I just wanted to single in on this:

Why is it that single men seem to treat being single as a justification for violence?

To me this isn't even a human problem, this is something that occurs in other mammalian species as well (e.g. Elephants). The young single males are driven away from the group and have to make their way and are a little aggressive and anti-social.

Why are involuntarily single women not expressing the same violent behaviors

It's an oversimplification but I think it's also true: Testosterone.

And it's not just that young men are this way and everyone else wants them to stop. I just had a relationship fizzle out because her expectations of what a man was and should behave didn't match with mine (she would say 'nothing is going to happen tonight' and then get disappointed that I didn't try to make a move on her).

Women absolutely expect men to 'act like men' as well even while other people demonise men for acting that way. It sometimes feels like men can't win.

throwaway164_3 · 2022-11-21T21:21:32+00:00

Men in general are more violent than women due to testosterone

ComingBackBetter · 2022-11-22T02:03:34+00:00

I think much of it has to do with people being raised by single parents for whatever the reason. Most of these incels (I don't believe they even exist, these guys just tend to think they're entitled to someone way out of their league and won't get with anyone else) were raised by a single parent. When a person is denied proper guidance from either parent during their developmental years, they don't know how to react to certain social situations such as rejection, and mental/emotional issues like loneliness. They don't know how to improve themselves and overcome it. This wasn't an issue 30, 40, 50+ years ago before broken homes became commonplace.

neetykeeno · 2022-11-21T18:35:12+00:00

We don't fix it.

We let evolution fix it. Those people breed less, what they are, what makes them undesirable reduces as a percentage of the population. Probably at a quite fast clip.

Incel murder sprees are not a statistically important cause of death and it is obvious that under social circumstances of high marriage rates without easy divorce those sort of guys were probably also prone to annihilate their families at a higher rate when their relationships weren't great and also raised some seriously damaged kids.

Sure it's flashy and attention getting when some guy kills a dozen attractive young people because where's my virgin bangmaidmommy you must all die because you get to enjoy sex...but it's not statistically significant.

We can't even be arsed wearing masks to save a few thousand people a year from flu and covid why the fuck would we do anything much to appease those particular guys?

gate18 · 2022-11-21T18:46:05+00:00

Patriarchy!

Back in the day (and even today in different parts of the world) women were given. They were given for marriage (hence the tradition of asking the father for the daughter's hand, the father walking her down the aisle)

Those that form the status quo, teachers/politicians/home-owner... were born in those times (Greta Thunberg and those kids that tried to destroy that painting have ZERO power)

So young people are told that men are entitled to that kind of life. Not only are they entitled but their manhood depends on having a woman. Every movie, from fast+fourious to transformers is about a girl being there just for the guy.

So, here's adam. A nerd and non of the girls like him. There's Sofia a nerd, none of the boys like her.

Those girls that don't like Adam are clearly sluts. You might even hear teachers point to these girls and their short skirts. If you were in a particular class in UK a few years ago, you would have seen one of these "sluts" with natural big tits get thrown out because the male teacher got a boner.

Were as Mark (adam's bully) stays in class even though he's a complete Dick.

All these seemingly small things make men feel entitled to have what they can't get. Hence violence and anger.

And in order to deal with this. J.P advocated for mandatory relationships!

Sofia... meh, fuck her. If she wasn't so picky she could have had any dick in her mouth. The idea that she would out of the blue feel entitled (even though nothing around her has ever said women are entitled) is slim. She would be entitled to be fucked if she wasn't so picky but that's about it. Or she could take care of her looks and men will allow her in the fun clubs and boardrooms.

Timonidas · 2022-11-22T08:49:21+00:00

Honestly, what can we even do to fix that?

We already did something. It was called marriage and made sure that most men would create a family which occupied them and made them functional and usefull parts of society. With the institution of marriage breaking down we will move towards a more unstable and violent society. And because it is unrealistic to go back to normal, we will just have to deal with that.

Why are involuntarily single women not expressing the same violent behaviors, especially when they have much more to lose, much more quickly than the single man?

Because women are generally not very violent and their violence is usually less consequential. A man can use his violence to effectively threaten and hurt people, for a women this is far more difficult.

Whats going wrong here?

Feminism.

Maleficent-Paint-343 · 2022-11-21T21:14:52+00:00

While men tend to be more "aggressive" in the way express about things than women it's because that's most men's nature. We're biologically wired differently. Nobody's saying it's womens responsibility to give their bodies up and start having sex with men all of a sudden. As for the rest of your points, you should keep in mind that women are classed as equal to a "minority" in today's society which means they qualify for numerous schemes to to support them in life. Talk shows discuss their "vulnerability" and how hard it is to be a woman every day. If a woman is truly lonely, she can always find company on social media & online dating apps. -Most- of them women can, that's not to say that there won't be women who never got attention but that's a very small minority. Whereas the average Joe won't or will struggle. I've been lonely for most of my life and still had my share of girlfriends, but I had to put enough effort to find them, meet them, present myself in the best light to them, be charismatic enough to keep their interest up and play the game right. And I'm what society considers an above average in terms of height and attractiveness. While the women I know had to simply swipe right on their phone and go on a date. That's it.

Many women manipulate men through allowing them to be "orbiters" and giving them false hope of dating/relationship/sex. Imagine being an inexperienced man who got a woman's phone number after months of being lonely and alone only to be left with no response or responding to you with one word replies. This is what a man's world looks like.

You shouldn't be making generalizations just because of some people on this subreddit. Consider the fact that the road of a man and a woman are vastly different and that women, -for the most part-, are provided with more opportunities to date and have sex than men do.

2022-11-21T21:58:34+00:00

For the same reason that a woman who is in emotional distress is likely to lash out with emotional manipulation, such as the public shaming or brigading of me who fat shame, slut shame, etc… it weaponizes public opinion against the man. Men are a lot more simple but more dangerous, they get violent when they have exhausted every nonviolent tool at their disposal. Trying to gain public sympathy is futile as a man, but rhetoric that makes people scared of you perhaps let’s off steam. Most won’t act on it, but it’s still a valid cause for alarm. What is a 40 year old woman going to do? Threaten to beat someone up? Soon her chances of being believed over false accusations of sexual harassment will be gone too. The best option for both is to just be friendly, but many choose to live in resentment for their poor choices early in life. I believe everyone has to ability to become attractive enough to find a life partner in a 20 year dating period just by being healthy and positive.

2022-11-21T22:06:32+00:00

Most men achieve what is a reasonable expectation, overwhelming women who are "forever-alone" are either obese or made ruinously bad choices in their lives.

Normal_Red_Sky · 2022-11-21T22:38:24+00:00

Why is it that single men seem to treat being single as a justification for violence?

Since when has this been a normal, commonplace thing? I doubt most incels male or female are even capable of violence, they're too fat and depressed.

palatine09 · 2022-11-21T22:56:33+00:00

They should get together.

BluePearl2020 · 2022-11-21T23:07:19+00:00

You must be a man

pm_me_hairy_nudes · 2022-11-21T23:38:17+00:00

The problem imo is parenting, plain and simple. Fathers (and mothers) are not disciplining their angry violent kids into being responsible for their social lives, and expressing anger in productive, nontoxic, and non-misogynistic ways.

Parents nowadays do not know how to deal with violent, angry, entitled kids and are enabling them instead of squashing the problem young and teaching responsibility. It just happens that boys are more often violent and angry than girls are, and judged more leniently for being violent and angry.

The reason why toxic, armchair expert, alt right hypocrites like Jordan Peterson get so much traction among these young guys is that he told them to be responsible, clean their rooms, and channel their negative emotions into being productive. That should not have blown their minds -- this is the most basic parenting that these kids are missing.

There are societal problems for sure, but kids nowadays need to be told that they are still 100% responsible for the things they can personally affect. If you're a guy and you don't have friends, it's your responsibility, not feminism.

IcarusKiki · 2022-11-21T23:43:12+00:00

Testosterone.

H8beingmale · 2022-11-22T00:25:58+00:00

probably because women are virtually always chased and sought after, always have options, always get validation in anyway or any form, that most likely most contribute to women being less likely to become like guys such as Elliot Rodger or George Sodini

Poopybuttsticks · 2022-11-22T03:25:57+00:00

Humans are animals. Human men are violent predators - murderers and rapists. Human women are innocent hapless creatures that have never and will never do anything wrong.

The problem with comparing how men respond to being single vs how women respond to being single is that the experience of a single man is not the same as that of a single woman.

If women experienced being single in the same way men do, emotionally, socially, physically, hormonally, spiritually, etc…perhaps their reactions would be similar.

Men are often more successful entrepreneurs than women because statistically women are more likely to give up after a single failure, whereas men will fail multiple times until it lands.

It just points towards a fundamental difference in the way men and women are as a gender. And the reasons go beyond being borninto that sex, followed by whatever gender identity.

Another way to imagine it is that we live in a future where gender is non existent. Then, when someone violently responded to the lackof something in their lives that the majorityof their peers had over a given period of time, I imagine that society would look at the myriad other factors involved in this sexless, genderless beings life that pushed them to violence. Not only who they are as an individual being but what in society, their demographic, their race, their upbringing, their philosophy, their interests, their social life and status, their wealth, health, fitness, height, weight, diet, education, income, job, climate, elevation, birthplace, birth time, family history, mental health history, aptitude, recent events globally and locally and personally, etc..

Men are violent compared to women. And men are more likely to experience that violence from another man than women. But black people are statistically also more likely to murder. And we don’t see the news saying anything about that.

BecretAlbatross · 2022-11-22T04:57:33+00:00

It's just male nature. Testosterone means if we experience a negative emotion it's most likely to be anger. Being frustrated is more likely to make us angry than to make us sad.

alexaxl · 2022-11-22T06:10:21+00:00

Sex drive & testosterone in young males is high and requires physical output as work or workouts.

If you work / workout then violence will not happen.

Once this phase is gone, all of the above also drops.

You won’t see post 20s guys be rabid horny as before.

Ladies should’ve leveraged guys horny age to convert towards pair bonding. Guys find intimacy via sex.

Guys will mostly not care for Sex after drive falls. They were not used to or got much attention so have to learn to self manage.

They put energies into pursuit of hobbies diy etc.

Ladies will likely feel lonely empty after the “rapid excess attention” bio fertile cycle is over.

But their “attention & companionship” needs don’t disappear.

Unless they can redirect their energies as guys do the only way towards “intimacy” that maternal instincts used to bring for kids is now towards dogs / cats/ pets.

Younger men will have more frustration have to work on themselves, while older women will have more to contend with later.

Karma balances out.

West-Ad-9697 · 2022-11-22T06:15:00+00:00

This is such an interesting topic why did you preface it with "what the media says". Media says whatever gets clicks - that's female sympathy and fear (justifiably so) from men.

Secondly - women are less violent. Even the crazy ones, they are less likely to use external force to vent their frustrations even when it's on themselves. Testosterone feeds on violence and physicality.

Now on to the topic expectations of what a good life is in boomers and gen X and especially in millenials and Gen Z is blown out of proportion. I was arguing with this twat the other day about how expensive rent is in a major european city and how that is unfair and he can't even afford a vacation as a 20 year old. You what mate? Who told you life is like that? What right do you have to have such a high standard?

Same for dating. Most incels can get laid. They just can't do it with Stacy or get corn star sex.

Secondly - female attraction or the female gaze as some would like to call it is sparked by men doing stuff, being a medium, existing in their own lives and women getting to observe and fantasize about little small things. In a world where people aren't actually meeting other people with the odd exception - women's "female gaze" is stunted. There's no men apart from their imediate circle upon which to look and fantasize about boinking.

So how do we solve this?

We don't Gen Z is already going offline, creating hang out opportunities and developing relationships again. Just leave them to it, and we can chuck these last 3 generations as rebates and chuck these last 30 years as that one time humanity tried the mind in a box theory in real life.

Interesting-Wish69 · 2022-11-22T08:59:07+00:00

What can we do to fix this?

Enforced monogamy, more restrictions on how social media apps and algorithms work, lowering the levels sexual degeneracy in our culture in general, banning porn (or at least putting more regulations on it), creating a stronger household structure where parents don’t get divorced.

I think Peterson is pretty spot in this regard. Perhaps sexual liberation in the 60s was a good thing for culture as people became more free. But now that we’ve got social media algorithms that are designed to manipulate the psyche as a part of our daily lives, the level of sexual liberation has gone far beyond control, leading to a weaker family structure and higher rates of loneliness in perhaps both men and women.

In my opinion, the root of all the recent problems in society is that technology is surpassing human intelligence and it is now controlling us rather the other way around.

The only people benefitting from this current system are the most attractive men because they have infinite sexual access.

Angelio72 · 2022-11-22T12:33:21+00:00

Well to be involuntary single/ sexless as a young women is extremely rare. Just this summer I meet an extremely overweight women she hade both a boyfriend and different sex partners , if she can do it basically every women can do it. Being involuntary sexless as man is faaaar more common . But I do thing some culture aspect makes it worse for men and even maybe some biological reason that's true . I mean just look at the phenomenon of being a player and being a slut.

When it comes to violence that's a pretty retarded thing to bring up. Men use violence for everything

FlyV89 · 2022-11-22T14:22:33+00:00

They are not more violent BECAUSE they are single, but because when men think individualistc and only have to look after themselves, being agressive conduct pays off better than "going with the crowd".

This is what people here don't "get" whenever this discussion about why is dangerous for society when large masses of men check out is brought up here.

Men DON'T NEED society. Men are self-suficient. Adult, healthy men are, actually, the individuals who need society less as a group.

Then why do men cooperate with other men? Basically, to protect their families.

When men have extended family groups, they tend to engage in more responsible, socially acceptable and less risk-taking behaviour.

This is, basically, the first big socio-cultural pact of mankind, and the most important one, the implicit agreement among a group of men to not only look after and safeguard the weak members of other men's families, but also do no harm to them, in hopes the other men would do no arm to your own kind.

Antrophologically speaking, this is the precedent of law, in ancient times often regulated (or explained) through religions, and it's the reasson why modern societies weren't runned unilateraly by one single "Alpha" male like it happens in animal packs.

It's been proven multiple times that men and even women who have families change even their voting paterns, showing more proclivity to align with traditionalist, conservative policies, specially law enforcement, border protection and anti-drug laws, and tend to be more concerned about community issues and cultural disruption.

On the opposite side of the espectrum you have men who are "alone" so to speak, who have no children nor relatives to care for, and this is the demografic who can be troubblesome if not adressed properly by society.

But it's not that these men are more prone to violence and crime because "they are bitter for not gettin laid" like people seem to think...

They are more risk-taking and agressive because they only have to take care of themselves, they are not responsible for other's people well being and they don't feel like it anyways. They have no other purpose but to pursue what they want.

And when a man is alone in life and pursuing his own selfish intrests, it often happens that the means are not really important for him as long as he gets his share, and the consecuences of his actions have no repercusion for other people but him, so he doesn't feel responsible for other's people safety, unlike a man who has a wife and three children and may say "hey, this is easy money, but I have three kids to look after... If this goes south and I end up in jail... What are they gonna do? How is going my wife to raise my kids alone?"

This doesn't mean all single men are violent and criminals, but a good portion of criminals are single young men.

Then you have another problem, and this is that single, lonely men engage less in societal issues, they care less about the current state of political affairs, they rely less on state structures and they also produce less and put less effort in building and mantaining their communities and enforcing social peace.

So basically...

By having a bunch of single men wandering around you're encouraging two types of negative sociocultural behaviours:

1) You're stripping away responsabilities from agressive and risk-taking men who otherwise could temper their behaviour, and

2) You're also pushing good, young men away from the margins of the sociocultural scheme, making room for "bad guys" to run free without nobody to stop them and put them in their place, since the good men who may have an intrest in enforcing cultural norms and create a stable, healthy enviroment when they have families to look after, when single don't see much benefit (if they see any) in engaging with the culture and societal issues in their communities.

Title	Single Men vs Single Women
Author	anonymous-platypus1
Upvotes	102
Comments	490
Date	November 21, 2022 4:30 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/z138w4/single_men_vs_single_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/single-men-vs-single-women.1140716 https://theredarchive.com/post/1140716