Somewhere in here we probably need to clarify some of the statements so we can all keep moving down the trail together.

This issue of porn keeps coming up. As I have said before, it's tough to make condemning statements about blanket topics without commenting a little bit about context. So, I'll give it a go now.

Porn is such a lightning-rod issue in churches and in society in general. To make a blanket statement that "porn is bad" or "porn is a sin" is missing the mark in my opinion. What is the context of the discussion regarding porn being "bad" and/or "sinful?"

In some cultures and religions, a bare ankle is viewed as porn and is definitely "bad" and "sinful."

When some folks go to a beach and see gals running around in a skimpy bathing suit, it could be viewed as porn and sinful.

For some people back in the day, the pictures in the Sears catalog section of ladies undergarments is their version of porn. Today, that whole idea would be laughable.

People in California and Florida view skimpy bathing suits in a very different manner than do certain people/religions in the middle east, for example.

Justice Stewart of the US Supreme Court said he would not try to define what porn is, because he could never do so in an intelligent manner. But he did say that he knew it when he saw it.

So what shall we say then about porn being "bad' and "sinful?"

Some wives enjoy sending their husbands a personal video of their own personal play-time. And just so we don't get bogged down in another algebra problem of fighting over insecure internet connections and the like, maybe we can just say that a wife makes a video for her husband. That's fine to me and I don't think that's a bad thing, nor do I think it's a sin. That's a video she made for him and whatever they want to do with that is their own concern.

But if another viewer saw the video of the wife, it would probably been seen as porn. Again though, it might not be seen as porn. Some elements of attraction would have to be present for it to be seen as porn by an outside viewer. The mere presence of nudity doesn't not, in my mind, automatically throw something into the category of porn.

Every so often I see historical films of concentration camps and nudity is shown. To me, that's not porn. I view that as different aims and goals than what is going on in the "porn industry."

Maybe the best way to classify porn is to classify it as causing the viewer to lust, etc. In biblical terminology that is probably a perspective that we can all agree on.

To one person porn can be categorized as a particular thing. For another person it may not be porn at all. I think the church has shamed everything so hard that so many blanket statements are made all the time in an unnecessary fashion. We are all programmed with shame at a very early age.

The result is that people in the church have never really been able to discuss these items with any kind of realistic attitude at all.

I guess that's the question for us all: how do we have a more healthy attitude about sex and all of the various topics such as healthy sex, sinful sex, etc.?

What I am doing in my own little corner of the world is that I am teaching an advanced class to guys. We cover every topic under the sun. I have set up an environment that is safe and non-judgmental in our delivery as well as participation. We definitely work within a Biblical framework in teaching Red Pill Awareness.

Sometimes it's very frustrating to read through some of these posts and see all the judgmental language and condemnation, etc. That all leads to guys closing down and feeling alone in their Dead Christian Bedrooms. It's an epidemic in our culture, it really is.

In fact, I think it's such a vital topic that if we don't start to deal with it and help guys work through it, I think the Church as we know it will be gone within 50 years or so.

To me, that's where my energy will be as we move forward in this modern world of ours. It's not helpful to talk about porn and not address issues related to both men and women. Most women will shame their men for looking at porn, while the woman sneaks off and reads 50 shades, etc. Or she could run off and read her Christian version of a Johhny-loves-Suzi book. Is word-porn more harmful than internet porn? We can solve that issue another day.

But I would ask another question: would that fight over types of porn really help anything?

I think it's much more helpful to focus on helping men to be better #RP aware. That's where I am seeing the most traction out here in the field.

I think looking at porn and living in that world is breaking covenant. I also feel that a woman denying her husband regular, healthy sexual activity is also breaking covenant. So I am fine having all these discussion as long as both people in each relationship take responsibility for their part in the relationship.

There are reasons why people (men and women) gravitate toward porn. The truth is that they feel empty and are looking to fill a void in their lives. It's everyone's favorite past time to beat up guys about porn, etc. But the truth is that is not helping guys to deal with the issue of porn. Dumping Shame-Gravy all over guys does not help them, nor does it deal with the problems that they face in dealing with a Dead Christian Bedroom.

The problems related to these issues have many layers. In my work on the related topics, I have had the most traction when I can get guys to open up and share their concerns.

You can find my other posts about how I got started in setting up our men's group.

I will have a more in-depth audio product released very soon and if you have an interest in it you can feel free to contact with about it.

Here is what I know for sure: guys will continue to walk out into the woods and pull triggers if we don't do a better job of helping them.

Again, throwing Shame-Gravy all over the place isn't helping. It's only isolating more and more guys every day.

I thank you all for joining in this journey and mission of reaching more guys and helping them work through these sensitive issues.

May God bless you all as you fight all of your battles out there in the real world.

Contact me anytime if you need to talk or ask questions.

Joe Mak

PMC Member

Positive Masculinity Crusade

@RedPillXristian