First off, this post is about sex. So NSFW. Second off, it will not be in any way graphic or crass. So creepers, creep away.

We speak often about the importance of sex and being available to your man around here. It's not exactly unintuitive why this is so, yet at the same time I think it would be helpful to plainly lay out just a few of the reasons it should be among your top priorities.

Men are the gatekeepers of commitment; Woman are the gatekeepers of sex

You'll hear that a lot. But here's the thing, access to sex can be rescinded. Commitment cannot, or at least not nearly so easily - particularly if you are married.

Marriage is a commitment to monogamy, not celibacy.

When you enter a marital union (or even a committed LTR for the time it lasts), you are committing to lowering your gates for the other person. But what is a man to do when he is contractually locked into his commitment to you, and you're backing him into a position of celibacy? You are not upholding your end of the bargain, and I would wager you would not be comfortable with allowing him to outsource what you are denying him.

But here is what I don't like about everything above - at this point, we are approaching it from the bottom up, essentially looking at the worst of it and the minimum you should be maintaining. It makes it sound like a chore, and it shouldn't be a chore. Looking from the top down, there are much more important and fulfilling reasons you should provide regular access to sex.

When you have sex with your partner, you want to give him a reason to be the only person he wants for the rest of his life.

Seriously, fuck him like he's the last man on earth - because to you, he is.

Why would you even want your husband/SO to think about the strange he is missing out on? Why would you want his commitment to you to become a chore? That isn't to say this is entirely unavoidable, but you can at least minimize your risks by making every effort to fulfill your man. If you think because you're committed that obliges him to look away from other women, to not want them - I kindly suggest you check out /r/thebluepill. No, you have to earn his attention every day - and that isn't even a chore, it should be fun!

You don't want your man thinking about how he has to do this, how he's obligated to do that. No, you want him wondering every day of his life how it is he gets to come home to you. You want it to not make sense for him to wonder about what he's missing out on, because with you he is missing out on nothing.

That HB9 walking down the street? Why would he be curious about her? Does she perform oral on him for no reason other than to please him like you do? Probably not - pass. The woman at the gym hitting on him, is he going to pause for 5 seconds about what she could offer him? No, because he wouldn't dare jeopardize the love of the minx he knows is waiting back at home for him.

If you're not in the mood, get in the mood.

What about when you're not in the mood to cook? To clean? To go to work? To exercise?

Sure, we all take a raincheck on our responsibilities from time to time - but by and large we show up for the game when the team needs us to play.

Being "in the mood" is fickle, and 8/10 times just going along with it despite your internal protests will have you "in the mood" in 3 minutes anyway. Show up and do your best every time because he deserves a woman that makes all others unworthy of his time and attention.

Again, he committed to you, he did not commit to not having sex.

Sex is the ONLY thing that tangibly separates your relationship with him from your relationships with everyone else in the world.

That is it.

Yes, of course there are other nuances in your emotions and your interactions that are unlike other relationships. But sex is the closest thing you will ever get to experiencing your relationship incarnate, and the dividing boundary between the force you two have versus the entire rest of the human population.

Why blur that boundary? Why tempt him with imagining that boundary with other people? Why not celebrate it? Why not feel proud that you know beyond all doubt you're the only object of his desires because he can't just order what you give him from the red light district or Scantily Clad Gym Girl? Why let yourself grow lazy in feeding this amazing and intimate bonding experience?

Tl;Dr: Sex hard and sex often.

So yes, be his Goddess of Fun and Light. Be his lady on the streets and his freak in the sheets. Be his dirty secret when you're at upstanding social gatherings and he knows people would faint if they know the depraved things you did right before you showed up.

You are not entitled to your man's attention and attraction and fantasies. You have to earn them, and doing that is not that difficult, and it is super fun.

So yes, prioritize sex. Give it freely and enthusiastically and revel in what it gives back to your relationship.

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