A RPer sent me a message and asked me a few questions. I figured that the reply I gave him, once expanded, could be of value to the subreddit in general. I asked for his permission to turn this into a post and he agreed:


Hey man. I'm a regular on TRP, I'm familiar with all your recent FR's and always read your posts when I notice your name. Just wanted to shoot you a question. I'd appreciate your response.

You always portray confidence and mastery inside your interactions, and you hold frame well. I have problems with this. Some days I'm unshakable, witty as fuck and get 5 numbers whilst working. Other days I'm low, and go on auto-pilot and completely slip back into old ways. It can be pretty frustrating.

What have you done to allow yourself to hold frame so consistently? How do I go about getting rid of my beta-pilot?

I feel like I have a decent grasp of what Red Pill is and how to embrace it, but I feel as though it's not truly sticking to who I am. That troubles me. Any help would be great.

Kind regards.


Here is my reply, expanded for some more useful information:

What have you done to allow yourself to hold frame so consistently?

Honestly? I'm a combat vet. Getting shot down has nothing on getting shot at.

While I don't suggest that you visit the two way range to get your frame solid, what you can do is challenge yourself. Go lift, go rock climbing, go do anything that is an actual challenge and represents any level of actual physical danger. You got shot down? Nothing on the risk of falling off a cliff. You got shot down? Nothing on dropping a 300 lb barbell on your head. You got shot down? Who gives a fuck.... You've been through worse, more dangerous, more risky situations and a little emotional turmoil isn't going to kill you.

Experience some true hardship. If yer still in school, work a summer on a farm. If yer not, go take some "boot camp" type program on a weekend. Get yer ass kicked. It will shock you out of your "life is so easy that something emotional can be the end of me" mindset and get you to realize that life isn't roses to the point where "Jenny dumped me" should be the end of your world. If you made it through what you picked to challenge you, you can make it through much smaller things as well.

Other days I'm low, and go on auto-pilot and completely slip back into old ways.

Recognize when you are in auto-pilot. When you come out of it, replay the last few minutes in your head. What was your biggest mistake? Pick one, even if there's a lot of them. Make that the thing you work on for the next week or two until it becomes part of you even on auto-pilot, and then repeat this process over and over.

A lot of guys want to improve everything at once, and this creates the active-thinking vs auto-beta-pilot dichotomy. It's fine to start this way, but you have to eventually change your auto-pilot to red pill as well. The way to do that is to pick one thing and fix that one thing, then fix the next thing, then fix the next thing.

It's a long-term process, but it's the type of constant improvement that you need to focus on to complete your path as a man. A man constantly improves, figures out where he is weak, and removes the weakness.

As a direct example from myself, a few days ago I walked into a fabric store. Of course I was the only guy there. My auto-pilot was uneasy, and I put my hands in my pockets and hunched over. But then I caught myself and changed my frame. I had no reason to be embarrassed at all to pick up more thread to fix some of the shit I own. I straightened up, walked thru the place like I was in a Home Depot, and found the thread I needed.

Now that I've noticed this weakness, I'll find a few more reasons to just go into stores like that and focus on being in alpha frame until my auto-pilot has changed. Keep stepping out of my comfort zone until I'm comfortable there.