One of the reasons it’s so difficult for a “beta” man to break free of his unsuccessful pattern of behaviors is a fact we often neglect, or at least push toward the background: Beta men still have some sex. They’re not entirely unsuccessful. They get lucky sometimes.

While a 20+-year incel who can’t get two words out in the presence of a woman without being threatened with rape charges can easily identify his shortcomings and leap to The Red Pill with great enthusiasm, a beta gets just lucky enough, just often enough that he thinks to himself, “I’m doing fine without that stupid Red Pill shit. I just need to stay the course, and eventually I’ll find the right girl.”

Being the kind of man we shorthand as “beta” is kind of like being married to all women at once. He cherishes, respects, and lavishes every woman he meets with compliments, favors, gifts, attention, time, validation – expecting nothing in return but hoping that maybe, just maybe, a woman will notice how great he’s being and favor him with sex, a relationship, eventual marriage, and totally make him happy. In an interesting twist, he gets his wish – sort of. Women tend to treat this type of man a lot like they’d treat a husband. They’re generally polite when he gives them gifts and validation, nice enough to keep him thinking he has a chance, and about once every two months or so, someone will even fuck him. He receives just enough of a trickle of sex to think that he’s on the right track, and that if he keeps it up, eventually he’ll hit the jackpot and everything will be good. Meanwhile, the women of the world fuck better men every Saturday night, usually after letting average joe beta take them out to dinner, sending him home with a chaste hug, then slipping into a tight dress for hitting the clubs or just calling up this week’s friend-with-benefits from Tinder.

Sex is a smokescreen. We often tout that the measure of a successful relationship is sex, but an occasionally-lucky beta, or even a man in a shitty marriage, gets sex once in awhile. The real measure of a successful relationship is desire. Women put out all the time. It barely means anything in today’s casual sex, easy-fuck Tinder day and age. They’ll toss some duty sex to their husband or pity sex a thirsty beta once in awhile to grease the wheels. But even if you’re having sex once in awhile, if a woman doesn’t want you sexually, frequently and with great enthusiasm, then your relationship is circling the drain. The measure of your sexual success, interestingly, isn’t sex. It’s desire.

And you can’t negotiate desire. There’s no amount of time, gifts, compliments, attention, validation, or favors you can trade to receive desire. In fact, the very attempt to make such a transaction kills desire. Trying to win a woman’s attraction is failing before you begin.

The only reliable way to become the object of desire is to…that’s right…be desirable. It always circles back to being good-looking, fit, professionally successful, and socially apt, and living your life as though the women around you don’t matter and barely exist. Being too busy, too successful, and too awesome to waste a single second trying to impress a woman is, ironically, impressive to women.

A woman who goes home with an awesome guy, the very night they met, knows she’s not getting a long term relationship and marriage out of the deal. She just wants sex, with an awesome man. She desires him. That’s sexual success. Her pity sex with joe average beta? No desire, just a smokescreen to keep joe in line.

The goal isn’t just sex. The ideal is for a woman to not only fuck you, but to fuck you with no expectations, getting nothing in return except sex. To fuck you because she wants to, and no other reason. The Red Pill isn't strictly about achieving sex with women. It's about making women want that sex, then giving them what they want. On a larger level, by being the kind of guy they want to fuck, you're giving them what they want. So give your wives and girlfriends and plates a big red gift by being awesome.