"I'm working on it." "I'm trying..." "I can't change overnight!"

Raise of hands, who has heard one of these before? Who has heard all three from the same woman? Who has heard all three from every woman?

Women are not agents.

Women, be it learned or ingrained, have no capacity for change or self-improvement. Their default position is hypoagency, they are acted upon, but they do not act. You can see it in every part of their lives:

  • Their communication style is primarily covert and passive aggressive, remaining behind the guise of plausible deniability. Women can petition for their desires secretly, while never being directly responsible for said communication.

Example:

Him: "Are you ok?"

Her, tersely: "I'm fine." //covert communication, she is upset.

Him: "Why are you upset?" //overt communication

Her: "Did I say I was upset?" //plausible deniability

  • They are not responsible for their actions. Women are so disconnected from consequence, they rarely acknowledge or understand consequences when their actions cause them. They are culturally considered perpetual victims, and do not receive harsh criminal sentencing, often receiving little to no punishment for crimes that men are punished severely for. Women are regularly shocked when faced with a consequence from their actions- as evidenced by their solipsistic attitude.

Women will find it completely acceptable to lie to maintain plausible deniability, or to keep themselves out of the spotlight of responsibility.

Examples:

"I didn't want to cheat on you, I was drunk..." or "He took advantage of me.."

"I'm not trying to do this, it just happens! I can't help it!"

"I can't, it's hard, you don't understand..."

Trickle truth is a prime example of this behavior, as it allows women plausible deniability by not revealing anything (lie by omission), and looks plausible when she admits and apologizes for small segments of her lie only after they are discovered.

Women are incapable of change.

The mindset required for the above behaviors, as well as the mindset created by the above realities conspire to create a creature with no functioning understanding, desire, or comprehension of change. It requires too many understandings not present in the female psyche:

  • Understanding that one's actions can affect future consequences.
  • Acknowledgement that one is in control of one's actions.
  • Acceptance of potential future failure

All of these failures are consistent with the hypoagency exhibited in women. These failures should not be a surprise, but instead expected based on our understanding of women in culture.

So, how many times have you heard the phrases...?

"I'm working on it." "I'm trying..." "I can't change overnight!"

It should come as no surprise, and our experienced members can likely relate- these phrases are rarely, if ever accompanied by actual change.

While women can be forced to acknowledge shortcomings ("this is not a behavior I tolerate..." "I'm sorry!"), she will appear sincere in her desire to fix it and be what her man wants her to be. But the very fact that the phrase "trying" is in her vocabulary means she has already admitted she does not have the faculties of mind present to understand what a change would entail.

A boy who puts his hand on a hot stove once, learns to discontinue the behavior.

The boy does not say to his mother, "I'm trying to learn this behavior needs to change..." nor does he take the next month of continued burns to let it sink in. What would any prudent person think if the boy did? A boy who puts his hand on the hot stove repeatedly is mentally ill.

Many often criticize my decision to leave "Women, the most responsible teenager in the house" in the sidebar, but I have yet to see any compelling evidence that this is not the case- or even that this article is not too lenient! "I'm trying" is the placating cry of the female, helpless in her endeavors to understand the connection between herself and the world around her. Events happen around her and to her, by others, by fate, and by the alignment of the stars. The world must be a fascinating thing through the eyes of a woman. Buckled in safely for the ride, watching as the trees go by.

There is no "try" in men's vernacular. There is do and do not. There are mistakes, and there are outcomes. But a behavior that is understood to be wrong creates a consistency of mind. When processing external details and circumstances- one does not process these details through a state of mind one does not have! Instead, he understands and plans responses to his surroundings with the understood consistency of his mind. Things he has reasoned to be true and untrue weight on this processing. There is no mistaken desire to put one's hand back on the stove unless he is not truly convinced it is disadvantageous. A man will not behave in a manner he believes to be disadvantageous.

Now, he might act in a manner that is still disadvantageous, but only because he has not yet reasoned out why this may be so. Once he understands that it is disadvantageous... it is not a process of change, but instead a change of process.

Women, however, do not function with this presence of mind. You will hear "I'm trying" which betrays their intent, because women are incapable of change. Why would they say "trying" if it were any other way?

Do not expect change.

Caveat: I do believe proper discipline within the framework of a relationship is necessary, beneficial, and ultimately an effective tool. I consider this method of change a series of conditioning rather than an internally-driven desire or ability for change.