The 12 Levels of Dread: "The Rules" for any Long Term Relationship

newlifeasredpill · 2014-11-04T12:09:52+00:00

Once I got to level 4ish the sex came roaring back. From monthly maintenance sex to really hot fucking 3 times a week. Oral came back. So did slutty lingerie.

Dread is effective. PERIOD.

Remind your woman you don't need her and she will NEED you. She shows you she needs you by fucking your brains out.

alpha_n3rd · 2014-11-04T15:15:40+00:00

I was with you up until level 11.

I think cheating on your wife and telling her about it is really really really fucking terrible advice. If nothing else it will give her more ammo in the divorce proceeding.

Lawyer up
File or separate
THEN start spinning plates.

rpscrote · 2014-11-04T05:42:42+00:00

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Jessie_James · 2014-11-04T03:07:00+00:00

Here's my take on it. I think you have some good points, some out of order points, and some points that go too far.

Dread Level 1: Learn to recognize and start passing Shit Tests. Begin building a strong, indefatigable frame. Read the sidebar on The Red Pill, Married Man's Sex Life, No More Mr. Nice Guy, and the Book of Pook.

Agreed.

Dread Level 2: Develop an action plan to improve the major areas of your life. Develop the physical, spiritual, psychological, financial and personal areas of your life.

Agreed.

Your journey begins at the gym where you need to lift heavy weights to exhaustion 3-4 times a week, working each muscle group at least 2 times a week. Read The Managed Attraction Plan.

This is not a requirement within marriage, in my opinion, as long as you don't let yourself go outside the realm of a normal male body. Don't get fat, basically.

Dread Level 3: Begin to build a life apart from your wife. Join a club. Take up a cause, discipline, or calling. Get busy. Read the Way of the Superior Male and the Art of Seduction.

If it's just you and your wife, sure, I can see having some free time. But what if you have kids? A house (and the maintenance that goes with it)? A life with the family? I'd say this should be balanced. And, of course, expect your wife to want and deserve the same. If you go away every weekend, you're going to be hurting if you think your wife doesn't also deserve and want a weekend off too. You can't be entirely selfish like what your point read like in a marriage.

Dread Level 4: Begin conditioning your availability to your wife with her treatment of you. Your are busy now. You don't have time for a sexually disinterested, annoying, or angry wife.

I disagree. Abandoning your wife if things are going poorly is abandoning your marriage. It's weakness if you can't use the aforementioned resources (books) and find a way to be with her and help build her attraction to you. If you are RP, this should start to come naturally. Your suggestion here feels like a step back to me. You should be building a stronger sexual chemistry and seeing results.

Take up another cause if you need to. This is a great time to join a martial arts club. Read The Ironwood Collection of Alpha Moves by Ian Ironwood.

How busy do you need to be? How does this make you more attractive to her? This is fine if you're single, but married? I just don't see it. Don't you have other things you already have to do? Again, I have to take care of the house, the yard, the cars, and we have social events with kids and friends.

Dread Level 5: Upgrade your clothes and start dressing ‘up’ more of the time. Top off your solid, masculine, strong, indefatigable frame. You should be acting like the Captain of your Ship and leading your relationship. Read The Rational Male.

Great advice. I get lots of great articles of clothing on eBay for a fraction of the price new, and they still look great. You would be wise to also suggest your wife do the same...

Dread Level 6: Begin to study pickup artistry. Read Bang, and Day Bang.

Dread level 7: Begin to practice pickup artistry and learn how to approach pretty women and hold an attractive conversation. Read The Natural.

Dread Level 8: SHOW your wife that you are capable of talking to pretty girls in public. Start with waitresses. If you are with your wife and it has been 20-30 days since she gave you the 'favor' of her body, and you strike up a conversation with a pretty young thing right in front of her 1 or 2 things will happen- probably both. First she will lose her shit and accuse you of all kinds of things. MAINTAIN FRAME/Amused Mastery. You are finally getting your wife to respond. That is the important thing- there is hope for the relationship. Second, shortly after you get home she will probably fuck you with more passion than your honeymoon. Read Models and another book among many choices on pickup artistry.

I agree with all of this, but you have to play this carefully. You need to be sure she doesn't think you're cheating or going to divorce her. Make it clear that your social skills are simply for your own self-improvement and also use it on your wife so she feels appreciated and attractive as well. If you can't pick up your own wife, you're possibly going to alienate her. That would be bad, unless you realize you've married the wrong woman and want a divorce.

How would you feel if your wife did the same thing with the waiter, or the bartender, and it felt like she was doing it with intent to cheat? Quick spiral to divorce, that's how it would feel. All I am saying is to play this smart. Don't be an idiot. Use open, honest communication and be sure she knows you're still there for her, you're the leader, the father figure, the head of the household. Not some guy trying to cheat.

Dread Level 9: This is the lynchpin. It is time to speak plainly but don’t start issuing ultimatums. Instead, Dread at this level is an implied and credible, but still as yet unspoken threat. If it has not worked before now and you are approaching Athol Kay's "Option A" or "Option B" point (i.e. start fucking me like I need or I am filing for divorce). Note this is the END of a LONG process. Give the first 7 steps about 1 month for every year of your marriage where you have been a Beta toe stub pushover BUT, it is finally time to start speaking in masculine language- directly and up front. After yet another sexual denial just look her in the eye and say something like: "You know I need to have sex with you to have a relationship. You understand this is a biological need for men, right?" Don't argue, don't get into emotional blackmail. Leave it hanging in the air and then disappear for several hours. I recommend you continue doing this a couple more times in different contexts. Avoid getting into drama or an argument. Your goal at this level is to inform her in no uncertain terms about your expectations WITHOUT getting drawn into a battle. When you are getting along pretty well, ask her what you can do together to get to the requirements that you have for the marriage. This stage can last only a couple of weeks. If it becomes clear that your wife is not going to meet your demands, there is only one thing you can do after you read your Bible and pray.

This isn't attractive, this is the last gasp of a failing man. You don't talk your way into sex with a serious discussion and (yes, it is an) ultimatum.

Would you do this to that waitress you were flirting with? Or with a woman on a first date? Is that attractive?

I don't think so - that is not how I build attraction and sexual chemistry. I prefer the David DeAngelo "Double Your Dating" cocky/funny method. Every mans wife isn't going to get wet when you tell her that. This may vary from man to man.

Dread Level 10: TELL her how it is going to be- or else you are leaving and filing for divorce. I got to this point in my marriage before it turned around. I told my wife: "You have a simple choice to make. Fuck me...or fuck you." If you make it to this point you must be mentally checked out enough and pissed off enough to actually move out and file for divorce if things don't improve. Your IDGAF is no longer an act. Read The Art of War and The 48 Laws of Power.

I sincerely hope most men don't get to this point, but frankly I'd suggest this should be your #1 point. Either you are married to the right woman or you are not. Don't waste a month, a year, or longer trying to fix something that cannot be fixed. If she is the wrong woman, divorce her! I tried "fixing" my first marriage, and after 4 years I saw the light and divorced her.

Some women and some marriages cannot be "fixed".

Dread Level 11: Get a GF or mistress and start having sex like you were meant to have. Read The Joy of Sex.

No, this is dishonest, disrespectful, and not the way of a great man. You're just another cheating jerk. Worse, if the courts find out, you are giving her everything on a silver platter. If you can't divorce her first, you're weak and ruining your own reputation.

Dread Level 12- Thermonuclear: TELL your wife that you have a GF so you won't be bothering her for sex any longer unless she wants it (because you would never deny your wife something that she wants and needs). Then when she blows up leave for the entire night. Come back next day (if you want) or file for divorce. By this time you would probably welcome the loss of this shrewish, frigid woman.

Again, this should be #1. If you're married to the wrong woman, there is no reason to go through all this BS to divorce her. Just divorce her already.

I think your advice has some merit, but it also misses the mark on some points for many men. I hope you can consider analyzing the situation from the start, rather than going down such a lengthy path that could be dealt with quicker and more wisely.

Fir3start3r · 2014-11-04T05:28:33+00:00

I was with you up to 10 and then lost it.
Giving the wife an ultimatum about needing sex sounds quite narcissistic and comes off like an emotional 12 year old.
Yes there's probably going to be a lot of pent up animosity but the worst thing you can do let it spill out into an ultimatum. Channel that energy and use it as fuel when you're at the gym. Do that extra set. Run that extra mile.
One can be confident about their needs, but holding the LTR/marriage at gun point like that isn't what I'd call exactly productive or conducive to the relationship, especially if you're trying to save the LTR/marriage.
If you're doing all the other 'dreads' you probably won't need to do 10-12.
In fact, she'll most likely be right there by your side next to the great guy she always wanted anyway.
There are LTR/marriages out there that don't need the half-cocked, 'Pump and dump' attitude 10-12 suggests.
If things just aren't working out then give yourself some time to re-invent yourself and take care of what needs to get done. You can parade your new woman around AFTER you've split / divorced otherwise it's just sexual blackmail. The LTR/Marriage is already essentially doomed at that point IMHO anyway.

abdada · 2014-11-04T15:47:24+00:00

This is all fantastic, but as usual it's focused on sex/love.

Dread game is not just about sex/love relationships. Dread game is about dealing with women, period.

I use dread with women customers.

I use dread with women pals.

I use dread with my own family (and they know it, as I'm open about it).

Instilling dread is a behavior that just works when a man has to interact with a woman -- even a short term business relationship.

TRP is not just about pickup, and not just about the sex/love relationship cycle. It's about being a man by living and behaving through masculine directives whenever you interact with a woman.

It should even work if you have a woman boss/manager.

boneyendoplasm · 2014-11-04T02:34:02+00:00

Hmm. I'm not sure all of those points fit into what I consider to be dread, but that could just be a definitional difference. Those are definitely all useful ways of growing and bettering one's relationships. I would add a key cog to your idea of dread. Dread can come from those things, but can also be situational. You can simply not text or call your wife back after a while. You can work long hours at work and take some "me time" on the weekend to go "hang out with friends." You may actualy be doing those things, bur she will see a man who is not as available to her, which plants the seeds of dread. Anyway, that's all I would add. You aren't a psych professor by chance are you?

AntixD · 2014-11-04T07:38:49+00:00

Read The Managed Attraction Plan.

is it the managed or mindful? also can you add the authors to all these books?

Fetish_Goth · 2014-11-04T14:48:26+00:00

When you increase your value, your confidence, and your drive, why would you stay in a shit relationship?

BluepillProfessor · 2014-11-04T04:18:57+00:00

I've posted quite often that I love light dread game in an LTR.

But 9-10+ is time to GTFO. If you're doing it to "show" her, you're just getting yourself off.

Getting a mistress is no longer dread game, it's putting off breaking up/divorcing, which is inevitable at that point. I get it, plates are super-RP, but if you're married to one of them, you're doing it wrong.

fnordsnord · 2014-11-04T05:13:01+00:00

All this can be skipped by not getting married in the first place. Marriage is not at all a worthy pursuit for the rational male. We should be promoting the absence of marriage if and whenever possible. I don't really have to say it: marriage is death, legally speaking, to the idea of having options as a man. If you are caught, you are gonna get fucked by the law.

DanG3 · 2014-11-04T03:52:13+00:00

I'd suggest working in the concept/statement at some stage that 'you have options, but you are CHOOSING her' (your LTR/wife).

BluepillProfessor · 2014-11-05T19:37:34+00:00

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phaed · 2014-11-04T03:16:59+00:00

This is great start, really good stuff. Though something around level IX doesn't feel right. Asking your wife for sex, or giving ultimatums for it seems like the wrong approach to me. For it to have value, shouldn't it be something she wants rather something she's obligated to give? I feel like some self-respect is lost by that point. Saying give me sex or else is working from a necessitous mindset.

reddiforlove · 2014-11-04T04:42:33+00:00

This is an interesting outline with a lot of things that can be considered proven value raisers (working out, studying pick up, talking to girls when you are both out, conditioning availability). Honestly, having to resort things like 9-12 just to get sex from a frigid bitch sounds like the definition of Hell to me, but I understand that this is for guys who didn't read pickup until they got married.

Those last two levels sound extreme to the point of comedy though. I definitely wouldn't advise cheating without separating to men who are in marriages without prenupts, and admitting it to your wife as a misguided strategy to get her back is like handing her a fucking rocket launcher to use on you in both your relationship and public life/court.

Guys with mistresses get their names dragged through the mud almost as much as guys caught with prostitutes. Anyone remember Anthony Weiner or Mike Sanford "Hiking the Appalachian Trail"? You might as well end the relationship first, because it's going to be broken as shit after that.

Level 10 is a much better last resort option IMO, I've had to use something like it a few times, in one relationship I had to use it twice. Worked every time.

I have always based my dread game on one simple notion that stuck with me from my earliest days in pickup, and it has served me pretty well:

You need to be willing at any time to leave her at the drop of a hat, and she is free to leave at any time.

If you can constantly convey and embody that without using ultimatums or constant threats, and without explicitly stating it, while being a reasonably decent partner and maintaining reasonably high value, that alone is usually enough to keep a woman very well behaved.

redpillexplainsit · 2014-11-04T02:38:29+00:00

step 9+ should be .. get another girls phone #. start txting her in front of wife. Followed by hanging out with this girl(with the wife, or without), if without make inform the wife you're hanging out with her.

sn5400 · 2014-11-04T09:10:04+00:00

"You know I need to have sex with you to have a relationship. You understand this is a biological need for men, right?"

This is basically male hamstering. Men are not slaves to their biological appetites. If you are leaving your wife it is not because your biology compels you to, it is because you refuse to participate in and put up with a sexless marriage. Be up front about that, and don't use biology as a scapegoat. In other-words tell her you are actively choosing to leave on your own accord.

The 12 Levels of Dread: "The Rules" for any Long Term Relationship

To clarify, these are sequential. You don't go past level 5 if you are happy in the relationship. You don't "cheat" until you have tried everything else and the marriage is already over.

1 - If I had a son.

2 - Because I said I would.

Title	The 12 Levels of Dread: "The Rules" for any Long Term Relationship
Author	BluepillProfessor
Upvotes	194
Comments	72
Date	November 4, 2014 12:51 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2l7pqe/the_12_levels_of_dread_the_rules_for_any_long/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/the-12-levels-of-dread-the-rules-for-any-long-term.24224 https://theredarchive.com/post/24224