There is a lot of Red Pill advice out there that overlaps conventional advice for attracting women. (e.g., “Be attractive; don’t be unattractive.”) For example lifting weights until you have a rocking body, dressing well, grooming well, developing social aptitude, hobbies, skills, becoming professionally successful, well-connected. Being confident. Powerful. Having an awesome life.

In fact, all of that is pretty basic common sense. Everybody knows that all of the above traits will help your chances at having a great sex life, and even the ones that don’t help or help very little still can’t hurt you. In fact, a lot of these practices are just good life habits in general. It’s not surprising to think that a girl might be attracted to a guy who has good life habits and builds an awesome, healthy, successful life using those good habits.

The Red Pill part of all of this isn’t so much the notion that doing that shit is a good idea. Everyone knows exercise is good. It’s the emphasis on how incredibly important all of it is. The traits in those two paragraphs above are the absolute only things that matter to women. Those are what define your status. Your value. Nothing else matters.

All of that bullshit about talking to women, treating them well, having common interests, having compatible personalities, getting along as friends for awhile, then maybe moving things toward sex/relationships later? None of that matters. The only purpose behind the way you interact with a woman is that it signifies your status and value. For example, having a confident, non-socially-awkward personality, carrying yourself with muscular, confident, powerful body language, always being busy having shit to do and talk about – all of that is not, itself, attractive. But these things send the woman signals that the underlying person who has this personality and these behaviors is good looking, successful, social, skilled, and interesting. A valuable man.

Where “blue pill” people go wrong is seeing valuable men have success with women via these interactions with them, then leaping to the wrong conclusion. They conclude that if they do the same things -- talk to women, treat them well, have common interests, a pleasing personality, and get along as friends for awhile -- that this is what is attractive to women. That this will lead to success, just like it did for those valuable, high-status guys. But it doesn’t work. Guys who lack value but interact with women in a pleasing manner either become friends only, or get blown off entirely as creepy.

One might even say that all of this bullshit about common interests, being nice, being compatible, and getting along as friends is completely trivial. If you’re hot, successful, social, skilled, and interesting enough, you can be a complete asshole and women will still fuck you. Sometimes, they’ll even perceive that you’re not an asshole, but are, in fact, a sweet and misunderstood guy. When you’re a valuable, high-status guy, every single thing you do will be seen in the best light possible – even the asshole things. When you’re a low value man, every single thing you do is seen in the worst light possible – even the nice and well-intended things. Women think awesome assholes are funny. Women think low-value assholes are jerks. Women think awesome nice guys are sweet. Women think low-value nice guys are creepy.

Women mirror valuable men. Valuable men are the containers, while women are the liquid that fills the space they are given. Women who interact with valuable guys end up taking an interest in the valuable guy’s skills, hobbies, conversational topics – even if these things never interested the woman before. They suddenly notice how cool those things are and want to learn more. Likewise, when an awesome guy expresses displeasure or distances himself from something she does, she changes her behavior. She conforms to please him.

When a man is low-value, women laugh at the things he does, dub them loser activities, and distance themselves from his interests. This often leads to low-value men instead conforming themselves to try to please women, further signifying their low value. It’s also just plain off-putting. Who wants to fuck a man that acts like a woman?

Many modern women don’t have much going on in the way of personality, hobbies, skills, interests. You’d be hard pressed to pry a 20-something in 2015 away from her cell phone. The lives of most modern women consist of social media, eating out, buying clothes, and “dating” guys. The really deep ones maybe talk about music. They spend their time shallowly reflecting the guys they want to be with, latching on to the lives of their men.

It’s easy to hate them. To look down on them. In fact, The Red Pill encourages a negative view of women. Why? Because when you see women as non-unique, non-special beings, each one defined primarily by how much of a boner her appearance creates, you can approach them confidently, without really caring how things go. Because what’s it matter of one particular non-unique, non-special woman doesn’t fuck you tonight?

We see stories left and right of women acting up, cheating, dumping, divorcing, and generally being pretty shitty toward men who love them. But remember: Women mirror their men. If you’re a high-status, valuable man, everything you do looks like you’re glowing – even the asshole things – and your interests and goals seem downright cool to her. If your value is slipping, everything you do looks awkward and creepy – even the nice things – and your interests and goals look like loser stuff. High value men don’t stand for bad behavior. Low value men let it happen because they have nowhere else to go.

If a woman is being shitty to you, it’s because you’re letting her. She’s reflecting your own shittiness back at you. Women are only as shitty as you let them be.