Drop your cocks and grab your socks 'cause it's that time of the year again: the media discovers women cum the hardest when they're treated like worthless pieces of fuckmeat.

This time Vice steps to the plate to get peppered with supersonic redpills courtesy of PornHub, Google big data analytics and (surprisingly) a university psychology department:

New data reveals that women in their droves are searching for porn with tags like "extreme brutal gangbang", "forced" and "rape"

Oh noes, but what about muh choreplay and "respect"?

While men still search for significantly more porn than women, search rates for these more extreme types of sexual content are at least twice as common among women than men.

B-but that must be because the patriarchy represses women and that's how they cope...

The researchers then investigated if the women's fantasies were indicative of "sexual blame avoidance", a hypothesis that women socialised by our slut-shaming culture chose forced sex themes to negate feelings of shame and guilt. The opposite was found to be true.

Oh crap.

"If there is a genre of porn in which violence is perpetrated against a woman, my analysis of the data shows that it almost always appeals disproportionately to women"

Misogynist!

Researchers found that 52 percent of the women had fantasies about forced sex with a man, 32 percent about being raped and 28 percent about forced oral sex with a man. Overall, 62 percent of the women reported having had at least one fantasy around a forced sex act.

Miso- oh wait the principal investigator on this study was a woman. Uh... internalized misogyny?


And there we go, MIND BLOWN: it turns out that women prefer to be fucked by alpha males in relationships with a completely lopsided power dynamic. After all that's only a measly 99% of women's relationship porn (hello Fifty Shades, hello Twilight), so we really did need some more data to completely forget about this by this time next month, when the media will again pretend that this is shocking owing to how it doesn't fit in with the feminine imperative.

As for us unrepentant shitlords and woman-haters, the old adage remains true: watch what they do, not what they say. As much as bloopies would love for that to be the case, women don't flick their bean to fantasies of gentle lovemaking and equal relationships.