Hey boys,

I was a bachelor for the past 4 years. Most of it was by choice, but sometimes I simply didn't play the relationship card well if I did really like my lover (I was too insensitive or was too obviously a player and she didn't think I'd take a relationship serious).

Then, a few months ago, I found a chick who checked all the check marks on my list and seduced her (and she seduced me; she's awesome).

I'll share a few of them with you. I have pretty high standards, because I don't want to invest time, energy, and emotions into some chick who will ghost at the first sign of a strong temptation or if I lose frame momentarily. And I'm happy I was patient and didn't listen to only heart. I picked with my heart AND my brain.

Think of relationships as investing. Make good, strong investments, and, if you're patient, they'll almost always yield profits.

The primary goals of these screens is to predict whether your girl will be

  1. Sexually Faithful (she won't cheat on you)

  2. Supportive (she will be your cheerleader for your goals and your lifestyle)

  3. A Positive Influence (you feel better around her than you do alone)

I'll separate these by flag colors. Green is good, yellow is meh (and sometimes, you want a girl who is a bit more crazy/interesting, so a few yellow flags keep the relationship interesting), red is no bueno (you don't want too many of these).

Green Flags

Low Partner Count (0-6): my current girlfriend was a virgin when I met her. 20 years old. This CAN be problematic, in some cases, since if you do open her eyes to sex, she might wonder what else is out there (no situation is perfect), but, for the most part, if she's only had a handful of lovers, she still associates love with sex. This is important, because she won't seek sexual gratification outside of the relationship simply because it's pleasurable and her body/mind simply won't be sexually attracted to many men (and even if she is, because she isn't romantically attracted as well, she won't stray. It's not a 100% safeguard, though).

Conservative Upbringing: it's not so important that she is actually conservative, but that she was raised conservatively (e.g., being a ho is bad, family is important, loyalty is important, etc) helps bunches.

Very Little to No Drinking: a glass of wine with dinner or at a low-key party is fine (and normal in some cultures, especially EE).

Seldom to No Clubbing/Partying: if she goes to the occasional house party, it's not too big of a deal. I'd say anything more than going out every few months or once a month is a bit risky.

Her Father/Mother Were Present and Are Strong: a present mother teaches her nurturing and provides a role model for how to act. If the mother is strong (not easily influenced and can take care of herself), even better. She's a woman and thus wants to submit to a man, but it's not easy to make her submit. If her father is present, it sets a baseline for men to live up to. If he's strong/dominant (sets firm rules, his wife submits to him, and he's socially dominant and charismatic), better. Women are usually only attracted to men who are as or more dominant than her father. Also women are either attracted to men with similar traits to her father (or complete opposites, if she despises him).

She's Difficult to Bed: virgins are the hardest (usually). The harder it is for you to sleep with her, then the harder it is for men at your level or below your level of dominance/charisma. As a woman gets more partners, her standards go down (though she is also more dominant, thus scrubs rarely sleep with her, but she also does become more curious, so her pool of potential mates goes up. It's a trade but usually hoes hoe it up [insert every rap song ever]).

She Has a History of Long, Committed Relationships: this demonstrates that she associates sex with relationships, thus the chances of her fucking some random guy when you date her go down.

She's a Happy, Fun Person: girls who are perpetually depressed or bipolar tend to seek satiation in the form of sex (and also tend to drink more and do drugs).

She's Beautiful: beautiful women (read: not hot. I'm talking about her face) are more sexually conservative. They go through their whole lives being treated like princesses and thus develop a higher resistance to charm and have higher standards (i.e., they're harder to sleep with).

You're Extremely Attracted to Her: if you see her, you should immediately get hard or excited. When I first saw my now-girlfriend standing behind me in line at the grocery store, I thought she was fine as fuck (then when I saw her ass, I was in full hunter-mode). If you're not extremely attracted to her, you're not going to care about the relationship much and are liable to let it slide (women don't only cheat because men are weak; they also cheat because he doesn't care about her anymore).

Yellow Flags

Moderate Partner Count (6-10): her association with sex and love are dissolving as her notch count rises. Thus, her okay-ness with fucking guys for the pleasure goes up (which makes extra-marital dalliances more likely). Also, her age plays a role here. A 35-year-old with 8 lays is probably alright.

She Smokes Cigarettes: this ties in with happiness and pleasure-seeking. Addictions in general are not good, since one addiction usually leads to others (partying, drinking, sex, hard drugs, etc).

A Present But Weak Father/Mother: I know one girl I inducted into sluttery who had a very kind and doting father, but he was very weak. Her baseline for "This guy is strong" is lower, thus her available pool of potential lovers is bigger.

A Tempting Environment: if she has a friend(s) who parties hard and sleeps with a lot of guys or does drugs, then the likliehood of your girl eventually being tempted is higher (especially if that friend doesn't like you. Think of these friends as Grima Wormtongue poisoning the ear of King Theoden in LOTR). Also, culture plays a role. Girls in Western cultures, at least right now, are pressured by media to be more free and act like men (sexual liberation, competition with men, etc).

A History of Short Relationships: I know a girl who would have 2 to 3 new boyfriends a year and who cheated on one (and almost two) boyfriends with me. I've talked to her about cuckoldry, and she told me how awesome it would be to have her now-husband agree to being a cuckold.

Ambition: the more ambitious she is, the more testosterone she has. This correlates with sex drive and also means you have to be more manly/dominant to keep her in line. Makes it harder to keep her loyal (if it hasn't become obvious, you have to activate loyalty. You can find a 'perfect' girl and still fuck it up if you're not a boss and don't provide for her needs/desires).

Orange Flags

Smokes Pot: As a former pothead (smoked hardcore for four years, then lived in Cali for a year and one of my good friends ran a dispensary), I can confirm that smoking weed can get you laid ("Wanna go smoke?" is one of the best closing lines of all time), but the girls who smoke a lot tend to be....looser. I know a FEW chicks who smoke weed who are otherwise pretty great girlfriend quality gals, but they're super rare...

Travels a Lot (Especially Alone): she's adventurous about where she goes; she will also be adventurous about who she does. When I see girls go on vacations alone with a boyfriend back home...well....

Red Flags

High Partner Count (10+): I once dated a HUGE slut and it was tiring, to say the least. She cheated on me once, as confirmed by her (she kissed some guy at a party while I was in a bad place in life), but I suspect more (and now remember a few sketchy situations she might have lied about. She partied hard, drank, and had 14 partners when we first got together. She's now at ~80 lays last time we talked, and is 23 years old; her being super hot/beautiful mixed with her daddy/mommy issues [yes, both] and, yeah.). Again, age is important here, but if you have a 20 year old with 10 lays under her belt...I'd say curve her.

Few to No Serious Relationships: this means her only partners have been casual and she doesn't associate sex with love/commitment.

Absent/Abusive Mother/Father: it goes without saying that this causes a LOT of issues in her psyche. She will seek satiation in many forms, be it drugs, cock, or alcohol. It's sad that something she had no control over affects her relationship viability, but life is tough. Don't hurt yourself to help someone else.

Heavy Partying/Drinking: clubs/bars are NOT "fun places to go." They're meat-markets. Girls go to clubs and bars to look for cock. I worked in the nightlife industry for 3 years and was a frequent clubber for five years. Please trust me on this. I know a few girls who smoke cigs, party hard, and drink often but only have a few lays, but they're bound to blow up any time. It's a ticking-time bomb, bruh.

Hardcore Drugs: molly, acid, shrooms, cocaine, etc. She likely hangs with very sexually liberal crowds and under these influences, she won't hesitate to have some fun. People are people. I consider myself very disciplined, but when under the influence of these substances...I'm a crazy fucker.

Bi-Polar/BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)/Sociopathy: I mean, if you want her to kill you, falsely accuse you of rape, or cheat on you whilst perfectly lying to you, go ahead and date one of these chicks. I'm sure the sex will be galactically good, but holy shit these gals WILL ruin your life.

She Has Cheated On a Boyfriend Before: If she has cheated once, she is likely to do it again. I've seen 0 exceptions to this rule. Proceed at your own risk. Assume you are the rule, not the exception.

Parting Note

No girl is perfect. I've seen chicks with all Green Flags cheat. Women by nature want the best man they can find, so you need to be the best man you can be, and "activate" her loyalty (i.e., make her WANT to stay with you).

Also, a girl NEEDS to know that if she cheats, she's GONE (no debates, no appeals - GONE!). You can do this directly or indirectly, but she NEEDS to know that you have no tolerance for infidelity (even if it's kissing a guy or dancing with a guy [hence why party girls are bad business]).

There's nothing wrong with a girl being wild and crazy. I have many friends who are like this and love them to death. But if you have a friend who is bad with money, you're not going to make him CFO of your company, right? You love him, but he's not fit for the job.

Same with a girlfriend. Find the right girl for the job.

EDIT: I can already see people getting triggered. I'm not condemning any lifestyle or any person. If that was your interpretation, that's not my intention and was explicitly addressed in the post. If you do not respond to the points concretely made, I will not respond, because you are responding with feelz, not logic. My goal is for you to screen someone who is likely to stay loyal (but nothing is a guarantee). That. Is. The. Point. Of. This. Post.

EDIT 2: I can see how this post might press buttons. Talking pickup is easy. Sleep with this girl, or that girl. But discussing relationships...well that hits people hard, especially if you're in a relationship with a girl who doesn't live up to the standards I set. I'm NOT saying you fucked up. I'm NOT saying she's cheating on you. I'm simply talking about odds from the vast mound of experience I have. You will react emotionally and that is inevitable, but I ask you to look at this as objectively as you can.