Summary:

This essay discusses what women really mean when they complain that they "can't find a decent guy" in the dating market.

 

Body:

There's a post on r-dating titled Where can I meet a genuinely good guy?, which sparked controversy among some men because the woman in question claimed to be young, fit, educated, and a virgin - a "quality woman" worth dating long-term - and therefore she didn't deserve to be mocked for wanting a "good man" like say, post-wall single moms wanting the same.

Now if we assume for the sake of discussion that she's indeed a snowflake and isn't some chubby bitch who uses God's Loophole to stay "pure", then to everyone's credit, she's not as bad as most other content posted. Nevertheless she deserved to be exposed for being part of the problem of her predicament and here's why:

 

Quality women who complain about being single have unreasonable expectations and they're extremely picky, and therefore they reject most decent men while whining that they "can't find a decent guy".

 

The more of a "good catch" she claims to be, the more she is chasing Chad, and she's rejecting the vast majority of decent men who would make a suitable partner all because he isn't the Chris Hemsworth or Morris Chestnut she thinks she deserves.

One of the reasons men were objecting to the post is because they use their personal experience of scarcity with women and mistakenly assume that women experience the same kind of scarcity whenever she complains about being single. Men in general only get meager amounts of attention and compliments from women, but women always have an overabundance of men vying for their affections. And this overabundance of attention and thirsty behavior causes women to have an inflated sense of self-worth, when their actual SMV may be much lower.

The other thing to remember is that women date up. So unlike men who are capable of dating women both above and below his SMV, once a woman gets complimented or fucked by a man whose SMV is higher than hers, she will feel entitled to men of equal or greater value, and will ignore any men she perceives is of lower value. This explains in part why many single moms won't settle even though they're out of their prime, and why fat women make demands as if they were supermodels.

So as it relates to our apparent snowflake, you can be sure that she has rejected numerous decent men who are a better match for her than she "feelz". But unsatisfied that her dating prospects aren't perfect enough, she goes online asking "Why can't I find a decent guy?", with those to whom she asks not knowing that her idea of a decent guy is Chad.

It's also worth mentioning that attractive women who complain about being single usually have that one guy friend who thinks the world of her, but she would rather string him along for attention and favors while giving the jerks a 5th chance to hurt her feelings. Then when she's hitting the Wall and the jerks still won't commit, she whines about how her dreams of marriage and a family are "out of her reach", as if the jerks she kept choosing were her only options.

 

Conclusion:

Don't be deceived by a quality woman's claims of scarcity and "no luck" in the dating market. She has numerous Good Men who make themselves available to her for dating, but she rejects them because they're not tall enough, or handsome enough, or doesn't have enough tattoos, or doesn't make enough money, or is "too nice". Like most women in western society, her idea of a "decent guy" is the top 20%, and so she's ever chasing the most handsome, exciting man on the market and expecting him to have Nice Guy traits. But it's not until her SMV tanks and she needs a bailout does she want those same Nice Guys she rejected to "treat me with respect and honor as it should be".

And in many cases, these women aren't even "quality" women. They're 5s, 6s and 7s whose inflated sense of self-worth via an overabundance of attention makes them behave as if they were 9s and 10s. They need to lower their standards and reconsider those decent men who don't check off their laundry list of demands.

 

All that said, one good way that the Nice Guys can keep their date interested and committed is to give her the emotional push-pull dynamic by balancing being "nice" (attentive, compliments, flowers), and being a "jerk" (withdraw attention, criticizing her, not letting her have her way). If he's "too nice", she'll get bored and go back to the bad boys.

When in doubt, err on the side of "jerk".

 


For anyone interested, I created a sub called r-WhereAreAllTheGoodMen which pokes fun at single moms and women who complain that they "can't find a decent guy".