When we discuss men, women, alpha, beta, nice guys and assholes, this sub tends to speak as if these are diametrically opposed, mutually exclusive binary states. But that's not precisely true and this belief will hold you back and make you unhappy.

I'm not gonna turn this into a post about psychology, but there is research that states that depressed individuals tend to speak more in absolute terms such as always, never, all, none etc. I'm sure you recognize this phenomenon here on TRP, it's even in our motto, AWALT. It's no secret that a lot of the guys on here are unhappy because of their experiences and the state of society today. It's understandable, but do you really want to model your view of the world after someone who is absolutely miserable?

Binary thinking limits you, it makes you miss subtle nuances and it also makes the world you inhabit a miserable black and white place where everyone who is not your friend is your enemy. You should avoid this at all costs. There is a nearly unlimited amount of information and you can only process so much. If you look for the signs that all women are out to get you then you can easily find more than enough information to back up this idea.

Just as you are an individual, so are the people around you, and yes, this includes women. I'm not saying that you should go hunt for a magic unicorn, in fact I think you shouldn't. What I am saying is that you should put a little more effort into understand the people around you, men and women, and your relationships. Don't automatically go to the heuristics and maxims of TRP to explain your experiences. Many people will live up to the stereotypes we throw around here, maybe even most. For some it will be a partial fit, but for some, dare I say it, it will not fit at all.

Furthermore, some of these categories are not always mutually exclusive. For example, alpha and beta; it is possible to provide the assertiveness and raw sexual attraction of an alpha while also providing the caring and providing qualities of the beta in one individual. As an upside, this will confuse women because they won't be able to put a finger on your true nature. You defy all stereotypes, which is immensely intriguing to them.

Just like the 'nice guys', who are obviously both betas and assholes (when they don't get what they want, which they don't, because they are weak), it is possible to be an assertive alpha without also being an asshole. Example: I forbid my girlfriend from eating sugary snacks like ice cream. She thinks this is because she is getting fat (she's not, because I make her eat healthy), and gets upset. Instead of amplifying this and invoking some dread, I assure her that it's because I want her to live a long and healthy life with me, and that I also don't eat ice cream despite working out 6 times a week and not running any risk of becoming fat.

Of course, I care more about her physical shape than her health and longevity. But I don't want to be a manipulative asshole and cause her more psychological anguish than necessary, so I frame my subtle manipulations in a more positive light. I'm still assertive and dominant, and I assure you that she's eating out of the palm of my hands and begging for my dick several times a day, but I don't need to be an asshole to do it. Of course, if she's out of line I will set her straight, but I'm never mean about it because I don't have to be, nor do I want to. She likes that I check her when she's acting out and that I sometimes tell her what to do, because she knows I am older and wiser than her. She is attracted to dominance and assertiveness, not cruelty and abuse.

There is a place for the alpha/beta and the nice guy/asshole stereotypes, but they are just that. Stereotypes. They are heuristics to allow us to quickly make snap judgements and communicate an archetype that we all instantly recognize in an efficient manner. It's a tool for communication and fast initial judgements, NOT a complete model for understanding or explaining reality in it's awesome complexity. Don't fall into the trap of binary thinking, or you and those around you will suffer for it.

In closing, I'm not sure what I should flair this. Leaving the decision to the mods or any suggestions in the comments.